Telling the Truth

When I think about ties that bind me to the largest number of other people, PTSD wins hands down. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder affects every human being in this world, directly or indirectly, whether recognized or not.

I’m excited, if a bit anxious, about writing posts on world and local events. Not heavy-duty analysis, but personal reflection making connections between my experience as a survivor of PTSD, and events or situations I read about in the news, hear about, or come upon elsewhere such as in my dreams.

For example, my last dream post made a connection between my traumatic experience and the situation of two chained women who seemed to be victims of human trafficking.

Besides PTSD, what else do I have to offer this endeavor? Primarily my love of making connections. It pervades everything I do, especially when I think about situations that cause anguish or pain, and threaten to shut me down, taking my voice with them.

My recent dream told me it’s time to do this. Part of me still cowers instead of standing up and speaking out. I’m getting better at talking back, walking away or changing the subject. Yet I still care deeply what people think or say about me.

I won’t turn mean, hateful or negative. I believe the best (if not the only) way to fight lies and false attitudes is by speaking and living the truth. That would include the truth about who I am, who you are, and Who’s in charge around here, whether it looks like it or not.

I may be right, wrong, terrified and/or not fully prepared. What matters is standing up, speaking my mind and doing what I must. Not about everything, but about things that come close to home.

I have a deep, long-term relationship with PTSD. I used to think it would go away. One fine day I would never be bothered again with emotions, memories or bodily ailments connected to PTSD. Fat chance.

Today I’m reconciled to the truth. Living with this disorder is a pain in the butt! I don’t like it one little bit, especially as I age. Yet it’s also a strange if not wonderful gift. It’s a bridge that connects me directly or indirectly to just about anyone. I’m going to use this bridge.

I can’t fix things for other hurting people. I can, however, stand with my brothers and sisters in my writing and in my everyday life. Who knows? This might also keep me on the right side of recovery! That would be the side reserved for like-minded misbehaving women, children and men.

What else will I post?
I love writing poetry. I’ve moved it high on my list for 2016.

I’m still Going to Seminary! I know, it’s been a while. But I’m still there. It was a huge turning point in my life, second only to marrying D. Stay tuned for further installments. We might even make it to University later this year!

I love looking through family photos and D’s photos of trips and outings. The supply is inexhaustible, so expect more photo posts with a bit of commentary.

I also enjoy devotional writing that challenges me. I’m not sure what form it will take after I finish George MacDonald’s July sonnets. Stay tuned!

And there’s always my personal grab-bag: memories, stories, dreams, quotations, and exciting moments in my life as a Highly Sensitive Person!

Thanks for being the greatest Readers I’ve ever had! Why the greatest? Because you keep showing up, leaving likes and comments, and encouraging me to tell the truth in my own voice. That’s why!

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 4 January 2016
Image from drhalstewart.com