Lighter than air | Update
by Elouise
Right now I feel lighter than air! This morning I met with an electro-physiologist for a second opinion about my heart. He was direct, personable and clear.
When I left his office, I felt my stress and anxiety begin to lift. My next step will be a pacemaker, followed by a decision about medication. The benefits of the pacemaker include being able to run circles around D, drive my car, drive D’s car, and say goodbye to very low heartbeats. Among other things.
In the meantime, I’m grateful for all kinds of expertise and support:
- My primary care physician referred me to a cardiologist last December, and called several weeks later to see how I was doing.
- The cardiologist identified my heart issues, and sent me to an electro-physiologist for his opinion.
- Modern medical technology tracked and recorded my heartbeat 24 hours a day for a week.
- Medical technicians took an echocardiogram of my heart and ultrasounds of my carotids.
- Nurses weighed me in, took my blood pressure and recorded EKGs every time I walked into a doctor’s office.
- The nurse practitioner twice talked with me at length about my heart health.
- The first electro-physiologist sent his observations and recommendations to my cardiologist.
- My cardiologist met with us to go over findings and talk about possible interventions. He also gave me names of electro-physiologists from which I chose one for a second opinion.
- The second opinion electro-physiologist saw me this morning, answered my questions and agreed with the suggested approach.
- Earlier, a cardiologist at church talked with me informally, answered my questions and offered to talk with me anytime.
- A friend from church introduced me to this cardiologist and suggested several other members I might talk with.
- Family members and friends, including some of you, prayed for courage, discernment, and healing in God’s time and way.
- Last but not least, D happily drove me to every appointment, and was with me during two key meetings with doctors.
I’m less anxious about my heart today than I’ve been since late October 2015. I’ve learned to be direct when asking questions and letting doctors know my goals for this time of my life. Best of all, I know what I want for this season of my life, and which recommended interventions directly support these goals.
Thanks to Anul Gawande’s outstanding book, Being Mortal, I’ve reframed the way I deal with doctors. Some people treat clergy as though they have God-like status. Thanks to life with my clergy father and my experience in seminaries, I’ve never had that problem.
Still, when it comes to medical doctors, I’ve almost always feared what they might say or do to me. They, not clergy, carried for me the weight of God. Not because they thought they had that authority, but because I gave it to them.
This heightens my anxiety and stress level in doctor’s offices, even for routine visits. I’ve played the role of a yes-woman (‘Whatever you say Doctor, no questions asked; you know best’). Or I’ve played the role of a humble suppliant (‘Please, Doctor, I’m so sorry to bother you, but may I ask a very small question?’).
Right now I’m weary. It’s the good kind of weary I get when I see a light at the end of the tunnel, or get within shouting distance of my next destination. So I’m calling it quits for tonight!
Thanks for reading, and for your welcome support.
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 14 March 2016
Photo from lighterthanair.com
You just made my day complete and it’s just getting started. Awesome Elouise, I keep you in my prayers daily and I’m so very glad your heart and mind are lighter🎈💜
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Thank you, Kim! Your comment makes my heart sing! 🙂
Elouise
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As your good news made mine do the same💜
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I’m so glad you received the second opinion and your questions were answered. Doctors may know a lot, but they don’t know everything about a particular person. I will be thinking of you.
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Thank you, April. Yes, he was very easy to talk with, understood where I was coming from, and gave me the answers I was looking for yesterday. All good! 🙂
Elouise
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Oh so Thankful 🙂 YAY!!!
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Thanks, Morgan! 🙂
Have a beautiful day!
Elouise
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YAY! Feel so happy for you, Elouise. I’m finding, these days, that honesty is the lode star that keeps me on the right track, though, of course, we can be nice about it! Lots of love! ((xxxx))
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Thank you, Fran! A big yes for honesty–including (especially for me) honesty about how I’m listened to and understood as more than a medical problem to be solved. I agree: Nice when being honest is definitely nice! 🙂
Elouise
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Elouise, I think you’ve made the right decision. I, too, made that decision, and I do not regret it.
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Thanks, Waldo! 🙂
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Thinking of you! I always enjoy your amazing writing. Your writing inspires me to much courage!
Blessings
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Jean-Luc! It’s so great to hear from you! Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m most grateful.
Elouise
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Your post gave me hope that maybe I’ll find answers.
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Dear Odessa,
I pray you’ll discover answers that bring you life and peace. Thanks for reading, commenting and following. The door is always open!
Elouise
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Thank you. I’ve been very worried over my health. Seems as though when I reached 40, I’ve gone all to heck.
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You’re welcome, Odessa. When I read about your heart and then about your son’s health, I wasn’t surprised–just sad that you also find yourself seeming to fall apart. I was in my 40’s when my health issues started raising their ugly heads. IBS, anxiety attacks, depression. Later, the first unavoidable signs of heart issues. Then, just over 3 months ago, I fell and broke my jaw. Followed immediately by total exhaustion.
Today I feel like a new woman! Thanks to programs, my psychotherapist, friends, and last but not least–my blog. Writing my life has been the most gratifying, healing work I’ve ever done. I’ve grown as a woman, as a writer, and as a follower of Jesus Christ. The challenges aren’t over, but I have more peace now than ever before.
Oh my. I didn’t mean to go on and on. I pray you’ll find hope and peace. God knows life is difficult.
Elouise
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