This Strange Journey
by Elouise
Events I didn’t expect
No end in sight save each passing day
Restless nights invite anxious tears
Looking for something –
A sign that all will be or end well?
The reason I’m still here, not elsewhere?
My mind races
Tries to figure out
What can’t be figured
What can I rely on one day to the next?
Where is this raft going?
When will I arrive?
I don’t know what to say.
My familiar world vanished –
I sit and wait in doctors’ offices
So many of us are here
Strangers to ourselves and others
Puzzles to decipher and put back together
Clueless about the meaning of it all
Perhaps the meaning is already present –
Like Easter eggs hidden in the garden
Works of art floating in clouds
Ripples spreading across a pond
Silent voices in the night sky
Children’s laughter and tears
Music and poetry that move me
Stories that touch my heart
The look on your face
Whispers from God
Connections –
Why am I here?
I don’t want a philosophical or theological explanation
I want to know who I’m meant to be
In this half-life slowdown
Draining my energy
Each day
In the meantime, I’m here. Available. Listening. To my life and to yours as you graciously share them with me.
This year several old and new friends who read this blog contacted me. I’m grateful, though not yet sure what to make of it. In the meantime, I’m happily available and ready to listen and respond as I’m able.
Thanks for listening.
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 4 October 2016
Photo found at theripplepond.com
Telling the Truth 
Elouise, I hope you recognize how rare and how precious a listening ear is. The art of conversation is largely gone in our times, yet so life-giving when found. Few are able to attend to what is going on in the heart of another. It is a supreme gift you offer to your circle of friends.
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Dear MM, Thank you kindly for this comment. I agree– “The art of conversation is largely gone in our times….” True conversation, giving and receiving from others what we so desperately need to thrive as human beings.
Elouise
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This is an exquisite post Elouise, very moving and it really resonates with feelings I have had outside doctors offices when I had my breakdown. You are a lovely writer 🙂 Summer
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Thank you, Summer! 🙂 What a wonderful name–yours, and your bloggy name. I’m so glad you could relate, and am grateful for your comment.
Elouise
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Why am I here?
I don’t want a philosophical or theological explanation
I want to know who I’m meant to be
In this half-life slowdown
Draining my energy
Each day
Wow, so many questions yet really just one when it comes down to it…you’re here for me of course….ha, okay, you’re here for all of us. The words you write inspire and raise questions in our minds that we ourselves have-letting us know that no one is alone…or strange…etc…excellent poetry too I might add….Lucy must be really pushing you these days…tell her to keep it up ❤
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🙂 Lucy’s a wonderful taskmaster! And yes, of course I’m here for you!!!! Just as you are for me…. Thanks for the kind, encouraging comment. Does it always take so long, I wonder, to figure out life transitions–that also happen to be writing transitions????
Elouise
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I think the moments are there, and time it takes so that we learn and see the different possibilities, if it were smooth sailing, I think it would get a bit boring…half the fun of the journey is getting there 🙂 I’m glad I’m on the ride with you sweet E 🙂
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We are having fun, aren’t we? Along with all the stormy weather. Thanks, Kim! 🙂
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I am happy the hurricane isn’t hitting my side here and my prayers are all over the place for those who are in the direct line or have already been affected by it. Still hot and steamy but the mornings have gotten quite nice for our multi-mile walk with the pups 🙂 gave blood to the doc this am so hope I find out things are improving on the sugar front…my blood pressure was good though 🙂 YAY! fingers crossed…would love to get off the meds someday soon preferably. ❤
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Yes…I can’t even imagine living through a category 4 or 3 hurricane and its aftermath. So many people in distress already.
Someday maybe they’ll find an angst and pain-free way to collect our blood samples. I go in early tomorrow morning and hope they don’t take every drop! Congratulations on blood sugar improvements and a ‘good enough’ verdict. All your walking with the pups is paying off! 🙂
Elouise
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The girl was so quick, last time it was a very “nice” young man….but I wasn’t expecting the speed and after chemo, still can’t watch the needle….torqued my neck and stiffened up…still working it out but she was in and out in a flash…came out to find my car with two metal pieces hanging, turns out the gas tank straps gave way….hubby and I drove it to the local shop to get a quote….it has 97k miles on it and I’m not working yet so we have to watch $ so I was a bit freaked out….all stressed out and worked up…wrote a bit and got the call, 15$ makeshift straps and 71$ labor.. Yay…I will have my car….e straps won’t rust down here but will get it by for awhile longer without breaking the bank….I sold my bike before we moved, we have hubbys truck, his bike, his car….if you see where I’m going with this….but the SUV was my last vestige of transportation that I’m very comfy in….my baby…..it worked out, I have peace, etc…..perhaps ego, perhaps insecurity of depending on someone else, even though we’re married and all….I was raised to be independent and worked hard for that…..ok, enough, haha…I’m sure you get me my friend, peace and love and a special hug to pal L, she is a rockstar…just like you💜💕
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Whoa! Just read this. On my way out to get blood drawn😧 but will respond later after I’m back and not crazy hungry 🙂. In the meantime….🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
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What a pickle to be in. I empathize totally with wanting your own wheels! We turned our two in for one, since we’re both retired now. It hasn’t been more than six weeks yet. Independence is so important, especially the older I get. I never ever watch the needle either. And always hope they’ll get it right the first time. 😊
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Nice poetry. And I don’t like poetry. So, you must be doing something right.
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Cheryl, Thank you for leaving this lovely comment! I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
Elouise
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