Don’t lose heart!
by Elouise
Renewal: urban renewal, spiritual renewal, book renewals (from the library), renewed vision, renewed strength, and renewed energy.
A-ha! Renewed energy! I long for it, yet experience it these days in tantalizing bits that often dissipate overnight.
From the day I was born in 1943, I began dying. Stranger still, everyone around me thought I was just revving up. Maturing. Developing. Becoming a mature, responsible adult woman.
Which means on my way to death. Right?
No one lasts on this earth forever. How dismal can it get? I’m not a pessimist, but I’m also not a gung-ho optimist, so finding my balance from day to day is dicey.
My tock is ticking down. Relentlessly.
Yet I feel more myself than ever before. More at peace with who I am, if not at peace with everything that happens to me. And yes, I want to be renewed. Who doesn’t?
Renewal hurts. Something has to go. Or be altered. Even then, renewal isn’t guaranteed. Especially if I think I’ll get back what I just lost. So that my life can go on ‘as usual.’
Things falling apart is usual. Making do is usual. Total restoration of all bits and pieces of me is neither usual nor guaranteed in this life.
This past year, things fell apart. Unexpected visitors (heart problems, broken jaw, Lucy pacemaker) moved in to stay. When I’m willing to stop, accept, and listen to them, they free my spirit and my writing voice in ways I don’t understand.
So I haven’t lost heart, and I pray you haven’t either. For me, renewal is happening alongside things falling apart internally and externally. Especially renewal of my inner-woman voice that leaps out of my fingers when I sit down at my computer.
Thanks for reading and listening!
Elouise ♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 29 December 2016
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Renewal
Telling the Truth 
Elouise, I have a suit coat in which I keep my mother’s pacemaker. She died 5 years ago. I placed the pacemaker in the return shipping envelope shortly after she died, but I figure what’s the hurry with returning it? When I wear that suit coat and reach in to retrieve my keys, beeper, pen, etc. I remember her spirit lives and is close by. Sort of like receiving an Email, Blog, Tweet, or being Linkedin. Thank you Eloise for your writings, memory making and Happy New Year !!!
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Thank you, David.
What a sweet, heartwarming, inspiring story and memory. Thanks so much for sharing it. Your mother would be so proud of you now! Praying you have a memorable New Year. ⏳🎉
Elouise
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Wow!
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Thanks, Sean. 😊
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Like the seasons, change is always a constant, we evolve, starting as mere specks and then ending up like fossils, hard and almost unbreakable….your writing has evolved as have you my friend, and it is pure and heartwarming to know that you’re human just like the rest of us, I think we all understand and feel your words as our own, everyone moves at their own pace…as long as we keep moving, it’s good ❤ Hey Super L, happy new year and here's to another fruitful change of seasons ahead for us all. Be well sweet Elouise and I'll catch ya in 2017…or sooner too ❤
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From specks to fossils…sounds like a great career path! Or book title? I do like the unbreakable part. Especially if it means I get to thaw every spring! 😁 Thanks for your faithful presence and encouragement. And some good laughs, too! 💜
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My hubby would go to family reunions and they always called the old folks fossils, then he became a fossil In Training, is how he put it, and so we are. A rich life and I thank you for all the wisdom and grace I find in your words, even with pills and super heroes within, we will all claim our spot, carve our niche and write the words to give thought for others to ponder and hopefully glean some diamonds from😊💕💜☮💟
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This is too funny! I love the ‘fossil in Training’ phrase. Yes, we have had rich lives–from which flow many thoughts and words and, hopefully, deeds of kindness too. Even toward those pills of change than never quite deliver. Thanks for showing me the way in so many instances–especially in your writing, but also in your lovely hand-decorated comments! 🙂
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Just a bit ago I wrote a blog post titled, “whatever you do, just don’t lose heart”. I feel you! Sometimes it would be SO easy to give in and give up, to lose heart. BUT, if we let Him, we will be restored and renewed and we will find His strength to continue…wishing you the VERY best for 2017!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
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Yes…the distance between hanging in there and giving up is often only a heartbeat. I’ll check out your new post! Thanks for your comment and best wishes for the new year. I wish the very same same for you and your family!
Elouise 💜
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