Dear Mom, I miss you today.
by Elouise
Happy Mother’s Day to all children of the world! My relationship with my Mom was complex, to say the least. I was always sad that she died first because we were just getting to know each other. That was in 1999, 18 years ago. I’m still discovering how much of her spirit resides in my spirit, and how much I owe her. Hope you enjoy the two old photos!
Mom and Sisters #1, 2 and 3, Easter Sunday 1952 in Savannah. I’m on the right.
Dear Mom,
I miss you today. When I was growing up, I was pretty tight-lipped. I think it was my way of having some privacy. Still, there are things we never talked about that are on my mind today. Probably because I’ve been writing about going to seminary, and what Dad seemed to think about my decision.
Even though you didn’t say much about this, I knew you were proud of me and I never wondered whether I had your blessing. From the beginning you wanted to know about what I was studying, even though I didn’t always want to talk about it.
I can’t thank you enough for showing an interest in my studies and writing, even though you may not have agreed with everything I wrote. I often wonder whether you wanted to go back for more education. You would have been an…
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Telling the Truth 
Still love this post, and you in the dress, smiling and happy, beautiful memories E ❤ and hey L, happy mothers day too btw.
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Thanks, Kim. I did have a happy mother’s day. Very low-key and quiet. Plus good conversations with my adult children. What more could I want?
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I’ve tried, I admit, but I cannot find any reason to miss my mother, I feel absolutely nothing. Her world revolved around nobody but herself.
Probably why my family think I’m a hard hearted old man! 😀
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Hi, Brian. Sometimes it isn’t possible to bridge the divide–especially from the child’s side. I have a dear friend of many years who wasn’t able to do that with her mother. For her it was a matter of priorities, given her situation and the nature of the damage done. I’m smiling about the hard-hearted old man part! I’ve been there, too–as a woman, of course. 🙂
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That wasn’t being funny, my family do believe I am. I suppose it’s because I do not show much by way of affection. I never grew up with any and did not know what is was til I met the War Office.
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That was the case with my friend also. What we don’t get as children, we don’t know how to give. My father didn’t know how to give safe affection. My mother gave limited affection–almost always connected with food or clothes or ‘taking care’ of us. Never (for me) with regular hugs or other common ways parents assure children they’re loved. She didn’t get this from her mother, either–who favored my mother’s younger brother, and left my grandpa for another man when my mother was still 7 or 8.
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