Something about prayer….
by Elouise
My history with prayer is all over the map. I’ve probably heard more prayers than I’ve heard sermons. Too many to count. On the other hand, I’ve always struggled with prayer. Here are two posts talking about my childhood struggles with prayer: here and here.
Last year a friend gave me a slim volume of poems by Mary Oliver, a winner of the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize for poetry. The volume I’m reading is Thirst.
What caught my eye this week was the first stanza of a longer poem titled “Six Recognitions of the Lord.” I’m still taking in the first stanza.
I know a lot of fancy words.
I tear them from my heart and my tongue.
Then I pray.
When I read these simple words, I feel lighter. I grew up hearing and trying to replicate, in my way, prayers that would be polite and proper. Yes, I spoke from my heart no matter when I prayed. Yet I also felt unbearably self-conscious about my prayers, especially about the words I used.
It didn’t matter whether I was praying privately or publicly, I feared my words wouldn’t live up to what God expected to hear from me. Or that they would be used by others to judge my spiritual formation.
Looking back, I know my family upbringing contributed to some of this. Whether by design or not, my prayers to God felt like baring my soul to whomever was listening. I feared someone was grading, judging or scrutinizing me. Would I pass the test?
Mary Oliver’s words are to the point and liberating. They’re also primarily about personal prayer, not public prayer. Though they may apply there as well.
The best analogy I can think of would be a child talking to a trusted parent or caregiver. Freely, without shame or hiding. With no need to impress anyone. Not calculating or careful about choice of words or what the other person might think about what I’m saying.
God just wants me to show up, talk and listen. Listen and talk. Using my own words. No matter how I feel today about God or myself.
First, Mary Oliver invites me to tear all fancy words from my heart and my tongue.
Praying your Sabbath is filled with childlike joy and delight.
Elouise ♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 15 July 2017
Artwork found on Google at http://www.royaldoors.net
Telling the Truth 
Lovely.
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Thank you kindly. 😊
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Thank you for this, Elouise! I am on my way to church in a little bit, where I hope to participate in, as well as hear prayer…May that be true for you, as well, wherever you find yourself this day. With gratitude for you and your prayers, which are always from your heart, Debbie
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You ‘re welcome, Debbie. I’ll be thinking about you in church this morning, sending a hug your way along with a prayer. 🙏🏻
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have not read any Mary Oliver in book form, just what i’ve seen on the internet, I shall have to look that up in the books store on my next travels….a lovely post and read the two earlier, had already seen the one, but the second one was a new eye opener to me….I know what you mean about praying in public, being on forced display by family….I’ve always enjoyed prayer in my mind, one on one with me and the big guy ❤
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a great solution, too! (in your mind, one on one…) I’ve always felt much of my reluctance is about not being a bona fide member of the theological male contingent–with their ways of praying. We have an associate pastor–female–who does the pastoral prayer each Sunday. She writes her prayers out. Always from the heart and often deeply moving. She tells me writing prayers is a great way to improve writing skills. Especially when you’re a new seminarian having a tough time figuring out ‘how to write in seminary language’! The ‘just be yourself’ mantra is difficult for so many. I’m imagining what it would be like to write some just-between-the-two-of-us big guy prayers! Might be fun! 🙂
I’m also new to Mary Oliver. Her self-described process for writing (see Wicki article) is astonishing. And yes, I’m definitely going to read more of her published work.
Hoping your weekend has been filled with good things!
E. and Lucy and how can I forget Smudge! 🙂
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I don’t think I’ll try this Elouise, it’s not really up my alley/ my thing.
I could tell you a funny true story along these lines, but I don’t think this is the time or place.
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No problem, Brian. As for the true story, some other time sounds good to me–maybe. 🙂
Hoping this week has good things in store for you. No matter how small.
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The true story is quite acceptable in any company, just doesn’t fit with your post though.
Thanks for the good wishes, things are picking up, I’m still having some pain problems and will see Doc Ping Nee tomorow. 😀
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Praying can be so taxing when god doesn’t show up.
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hmmm. Maybe God is already there? Perhaps in the almost-missed whispers in nature–God’s prayers to us?
Thanks for the comment. I really like your gravatar image! 🙂
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Ahaha Thank you 🙂
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I wonder why he/she/it doesn’t, pretty rude when you come to think of it; all these people trying to get messages through.
Extremely bad form to say the lest. 👿 🐻 😀
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AHahah but you cannot even blame her/him/it. Once you watch the film Bruce Almighty you kinda do feel sorry for this entity. We human beings never shut up and are always asking and asking. Any lil inconvenience up goes our plea.
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Never from me! Elouise will attest to that; at least I think she will 🙂
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