weapons of warfare
by Elouise
intention to harm
shot from loaded heart and tongue
backfires brilliantly
exposing raw self-contempt
seething beneath thin skin
What will it take to give us, as a nation, eyes to see beneath the surface of bully tactics?
The best solution I’ve found is to stand before the mirror of my loaded heart and tongue. I’m still learning to acknowledge, comfort and care for deep wounds inflicted upon me by others and by myself. The cost, however, is high. I have to let others in, allowing them to see and love me in my self-contempt, sometimes showing me how it’s done.
Is this lifetime skill of loving ourselves as damaged yet unspeakably valuable persons modeled in our homes, our churches, our schools? Do we know how to see into bullies without being hooked by their bows, arrows and buckshot ways? Do we know how to value them without giving up the duty of holding them accountable for the harm they do us and others? No matter who they are?
Our nation is drowning in an epidemic self-contempt raging across every boundary on our maps. It festers and erupts within national and state politics, and within the homes and streets of our neighborhoods. Directly and indirectly it fuels every shot of every firearm ever invented. How do we address this crisis? Or even begin to acknowledge it as a national emergency that touches each of us, whether we realize it or not.
©Elouise Renich Fraser, 3 November 2017
Image found at theodysseyonline.com
Daily Prompt: Simmer, Neighbors
Telling the Truth 
This was very powerful. I felt the raw emotion and it actually made me think about how I felt when watching the news regarding the latest mass shooting (Vegas). It is an epidemic that must be addressed and your words express that in a beautiful and strong way here.
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Thanks so much for your kind comments, and for the follow. I’m glad the post connected with you and your experience. 🙂
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We are beyond hope without Jesus…with Him, in Him, we can risk learning what it really means to love one another, to listen to one another, to be converted by each other to new ways of seeing the world…please take a look at this video when you have some time, Elouise. Interested in your thoughts: https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FJungleVT%2Fvideos%2F1707031749438660%2F&show_text=0&width=476
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Hi, Nancy. Thanks for your comments. You’re so correct! Love is a huge risk–without guarantee of success. And yes, the way we see the world is a key factor. Thanks for the link. I’ll take a look, probably over the weekend. 🙂
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Hi again, Nancy!
I looked at the video–the YouTube version–and loved it so much I watched one more of his videos. I think his distinction between bully speech and violence is important. Many bullying sessions turn into physical violence–sometimes group violence. It’s super important not to let that pass as mere ‘bully talk.’ Though there’s damage in either situation (verbal or verbal plus physical assault), both give evidence that the perpetrator is trying to shore up his or her low self-esteem. Both are abuses of power. I take seriously all warnings in Scripture about our tongues and the damage they can do. NOTHING is ever ‘just words.’ As in ‘words can never hurt me.’ That’s a bit of false bravado and salve we use when we don’t know how to deal with our own or someone else’s pain because of words that have been thrown/shot into the air.
I also see a clear link to self-contempt. One of the factors in raising a young person’s self-esteem is giving/showing/practicing skills like this so that they gain a sense of confidence about their own power to defuse nasty situations. And understand that they don’t deserve this at all! Not every situation can be so ‘easily’ resolved; but many everyday encounters with persons of greater power can be defused using this tactic. Would it work in an office? Where the barbs are less visible or in your face? I don’t know. I do see, though, that a persistently calm answer and demeanor can indeed drain the power right out from under the person abusing his or her power.
The brilliance of this video is the way it shows how a calm answer can turn away wrath–depending, of course, on what we’re saying in that ‘calmness’ — which must be free of spite or any desire to ‘get back’ with our tongues. Thanks so much for the link!
Elouise 🙂
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It does not seem to be realized much by the world. If everyone stood in front of the mirror with their loaded tongues how far would they get. You are so right in this epidemic that is absolutely saddening. We just have to practice what we preach despite what others may say back..
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Yes! No matter what others say back to us. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
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I’ve tried to save the bullies one too many times with kindness….doesn’t work, for the bully won’t look into the mirror, afraid perhaps of what they know is there…..sigh…..but I will still hand out my valentines to all, accepted or otherwise….there’s a big recycling bin where when they throw ’em out, I gather ’em up and give ’em back out again ❤ spreading love and joy to you my friend ❤ ❤ and in the meantime, I'll keep praying too of course for the big blue marble we call home ❤
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#1 – You’re correct! Kindness won’t get a bully to look into a mirror. Unless it’s the mirror of my own image and I’m learning to love myself instead of treating myself with contempt.
#2 – You are not, in my experience of you, wallowing in self-contempt. In fact, I know from reading your posts that you’ve recently stood up to someone who probably just might be troubled by self-contempt. Your strength in confronting that person inspires me to be more forthright. That’s what bullies don’t expect–someone who isn’t afraid to stand up and walk out. Somewhere in your life you discovered your own strong voice and your own way of dealing with bullies. Not by ignoring who you are, but by loving the individual you are. That’s one skill I was never taught, along with many little girls and some boys from my generation (and beyond).
#3 – I love your comment about handing out your ‘valentines’ to everyone–and then picking the discards from the garbage bin and re-gifting them! It’s a great plan of action! Does ‘she persisted’ come to mind about you? It does to me. 🙂
Lucy says you’re one of her heroines, too! 🙂
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You’ve got me in tears…happy ones….but, I am so blessed to have you in my life…..smiles, hugs, love, and valentines galore💕💜💕💜💖💖😊love having you in my life💜
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💜💕🎶😊
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The epidemic is spreading to Australia. Now we have “Make Australia Great Again” campaigns and an “Australia First” party. On my story on the Chinese in Australia during the Gold Rush ( https://wp.me/p8PuzR-od )I received a comment from the Australia First Party contradicting my historical FACTS with their Unfacts. If you look and compare the two you will see a great example of the harm that is being done,
http://australiafirstparty.net/jul-4-buckland-river-digger-uprising-1857-sparked-the-birth-of-white-australia-policy/
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Hi, John. Would you believe your comment got held for moderation? I think it’s because of the comments you make about Australia and the Australia First Party. I’ve seen a bit in news feeds that hinted at this. So I’m grateful to have the short link to your story, along with the second link for comparison. It could be an honor that you’re on their radar! Don’t mess with historians, right? I’ll look at both links tomorrow–which it already is where you live. My condolences, as well, for the mood in Australia. I fear what’s happening here hasn’t made this a safer world for any of us.
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John, Bravo for writing your piece about the Chinese in Australia during the Gold Rush. I just waded through the second link, though I couldn’t stomach reading all of it. Poison, made more toxic by what’s happening over here. The USA owes a huge debt to Chinese immigrants, many of whom arrived way before white Europeans. And after Native Americans, of course….
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Hello, Elouise. Positive change begins with each person. If each individual takes responsibility for herself or himself, then we shan’t have something like dump elected again. Of course, it is a systemic problem. Huge conglomerates and companies comprised of individuals looking only to make money (which they will lose when they die, so it’s truly a vain pursuit) with no regard to any consequences must be stopped and done away with. This change can start with something as seemingly small as homeowners refusing to buy that horrible Round-Up spray from Monsanto that is poisoning the earth and spraying cancer-causing agents around us all. My relatives love the stuff. Sigh… Many seemingly small changes are needed to change the overall trajectory. These changes begin with each human.
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Hi, Pam. I keep wondering how much further degradation of this planet (and our health and well-being) it will take before we do what’s right–one person at a time. The latest report on climate change puts the main burden exactly where it needs to be–on human choices and consequences. The kind you describe above. The conglomerates will change only if we demand change. I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of mega-billionaires and their corporations/enterprises also throwing their weight on our side. Which some are doing…but not yet nearly enough. So it’s back to us. Systemic issues are a hard sell–until something happens and you suddenly see how it all fits together…or not. Thanks for your comment.
Elouise
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Well, I can do my part as best I can. I sign petitions, send messages, and donate when I have a little extra money, such as this morning when I sent a little to help care for orphan bear cubs whose mothers had been woken from hibernation and shot dead by hunters. I do my part, and I keep a steady faith without sinking into sick rage…most of the time. Today is not a good day for me to think, but I–and all who currently are aware and see–can support one another and keep pressing, pointing out, and sometimes shouting, but always loving. Our love will conquer the darkness. The light always wins.
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Absolutely…good for you and the orphaned bear cubs! We can’t do everything, but we can each do something. I agree–whether it looks like it or not, the light will not be conquered! And love is always needed, whether it’s welcome or not. 🙂
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Absolutely.
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