Keeping on the sunny side
by Elouise
Last night I opened my journal to make a short entry about the day—generally gray and dismal, including a computer-related crisis. Instead, this is what came out:
A thought just came to me. I’m almost afraid to write it down.
For every day and night I live without Alzheimer’s, I want to be grateful – and take advantage of things that bring me joy. I don’t want to live each day under a growing cloud of fear and anxiety about my future or our future [mine and D’s].
I grew up consumed by anxiety, dread and fear. They followed me every day of my life. They were in the air, even when we were having fun. Never too much fun, of course.
I enjoy life, and I generally enjoy being myself and not someone else. Yet often hanging over all of it are clouds of anxiety, dread or fear.
Today it’s easy to point to fear of Alzheimer’s as the chief culprit. But it isn’t. Sometimes it seems I inherited a gene that predisposes me to the dark side of life.
I can’t stop the bad stuff from happening, and I can’t get back what I’ve already lost.
So instead of focusing on what might happen today or tomorrow, I’m choosing to focus on things that bring me joy. No matter how small or ordinary they may seem to others.
If you’re scratching your head wondering why this is such a revolutionary thought, I don’t blame you.
In my family of origin, community and church settings, the struggles of life were often celebrated and even rewarded with attention. Or so it seemed to me. The fun stuff was cake and ice cream we might get to enjoy someday if we were good girls.
I’m choosing instead to feast right now on the sunny side of life. With gusto and without apology, no matter how small or insignificant my choices seem to anyone else.
As for the other stuff, it is what it is. I can’t make it go away. I can, however, shower it with small gifts of joy and delight as often as possible.
Thanks for listening!
Elouise♥
©Elouise Renich Fraser, 26 July 2018
Keep on the Sunny Side found on YouTube
Live performance by The Whites and Jerry Douglas (Oh Brother, Where Art Thou arrangement)
If you can enjoy life, do it. I try to do so myself, but there are plenty of obstacles as I’m sure you know.
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Thanks, Waldo. My goal is to stick with simple things, though a few larger adventures would be welcome, too. And yes, the number of obstacles is daunting.
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This is a wonderful encouragement to all of us to live out Psalm 118:24 – thank you. One day at a time.
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You’re most welcome. 🙏🏻
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I sympathise with your battle. Luckily for me, over the years I’ve managed to develop a mantra of not worrying about things until I know exactly what it is I have to worry about. It works most of the time. Then, if and when a “thing” does happen, I am usually too busy dealing with it to worry too much.
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That sounds like a good plan. And it goes well with the reality that we can’t live in the future, only in the present. Which already has more than enough stuff going on.
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I put it into practice today. I needed a mammogram. After taking the images, I was supposed to go on for an ultrasound. But I was left in the mammogram room, and after half an hour it crossed my mind, ever so briefly, that “something” had been noted on the images. Wasn’t it strange we had this conversation just this morning? Because I straight away invoked it. Turns out that the person in the ultrasound room before me had complications, and my whereabouts were overlooked. My heart goes out to the person who will be receiving the bad news. And wouldn’t that have been stupid of me to catastrophise my result while I waited?
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Most timely conversation, indeed. I’m in a similar ‘hold’ pattern right now due to a lab’s inability to complete a critical gene marker test. I won’t be able to have a second go-round for three months. It sent me plummeting last week because the results are an important link in the chain of pre-Alzheimer’s testing that’s recommended for those with more risk.
Bottom line…I’m most grateful for this follow-up comment! 🙏🏻
Thank you, Gwen.
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Oh, Elouise, you’ve perfectly verbalized the purpose behind my blog! Focus on seeing the good, the lovely, the inspirational things. That can clear out a lot of life’s dark clouds.
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Hi Candice! I thought about you afterI wrote it….😊
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There are a lot of different flavors of ice cream to try and more being developed everyday. We have been using a smaller bowl but trying different ones each month Ha Ha
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I love this! 💜💕🎶 Thanks, Dave!
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Since I have been absent, or in a self-imposed sort of exile, I had to go through your posts. I came across the one you revealed your chances of developing Alzheimer’s. After my lung surgery, the doctor told me that I had a 30-something percent chance of having a recurrence within 5 years. I focused on that number with fear. I’m not perfect, but there is a 70-something percent of living cancer free. 70 percent! That’s good, right? The journey of finding the joys of life can be a challenge at time but it is worth looking for anyway.
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Oh April, this is a wonderful way of turning the tables! Thanks so much…🙏🏻 And congratulations for reading back posts! 😊
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YAY! Keep on the sunny side of life…. Thanks for the video. ((xxx))
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You’re welcome! I think this means you’re back!
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Yes, dear heart, I am back, and thankful to be home. We had a great holiday in Oz and NZ, and it feels odd to be so far away – I never realised just how enormous the world is – but grateful to have travelled, shared convivial company and to have learned to much. 😀 😀 xxx
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Ohhhh….I look forward to hearing about your worldwide adventure! 🤗💜💕
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Hi again! I’m stumped. WordPress has deleted your site from my Reader! I’m still in shock. Would you please send me a link? I want to sign on again as a follower, and come to visit you! Many thanks, Elouise
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