cool midsummer breeze
by Elouise
cool midsummer breeze
reminder of things to come
balm for my body
Out this morning for a walk with D. Taking advantage of an unexpected change in the air. Thinking about what’s going on here in the USA and abroad. Especially in churches and religious communities.
Recent revelations of clergy sex abuse of more than 1000 minors in Pennsylvania have sent our state and religious communities reeling. Not a moment too soon, yet decades too late for victims robbed of their childhood, adolescence, and sense of worth as children of God.
This time it’s about priests, bishops and the highest governing bodies of the Roman Catholic Church. It could easily have been about ordained leaders in conservative and liberal churches of all Christian denominations, including those that claim not to be denominations.
Abuse of power has no boundaries.
In the meantime, thousands upon thousands of children, young people and adults wonder when and how this madness will end. Everything in us cries out for freedom, though many of us have believed the lies of our perpetrators:
- This is for your own good.
- You made me do it.
- God told me to do it.
- I can’t help myself.
- This will bring you closer to God.
- No one will ever find out.
- This is our little secret.
- You should be ashamed of yourself.
- I can help you with your career.
- If you tell anyone, I’ll kill your brother.
…..
Our lives are precious. We’re here for a purpose. What’s yours?
Today mine is to spotlight the reality of this rampant non-secret that’s eating away at families, communities, religious and secular institutions. To think these things don’t matter in public life is to live on another planet. These aren’t private matters. They are public and private relations disasters at every level.
No, I haven’t given up on following Jesus. I have, however, given up the notion that what happened to me in my youth and childhood should be over and done by now. It’s never over and done. Especially when there are millions of other victims out there. Overlooked, uncounted, discounted and left to their own devices. From the outside, some get along better than others. Yet deep inside, competing voices vie for everlasting attention.
I know, because I’m still doing battle, though not without hope. My purpose today is to tell the truth, without loss of hope and with the most powerful voice I have–my writing.
©Elouise Renich Fraser, 20 August 2018
Photo found at kalynskitchen.com
Telling the Truth 
Elouise, I know you are very familiar with the reality of institutionalized racism. Consider for a moment institutionalized sexual exploitation of women and children. It permeates all branches of government and all levels of government. IF it ever gets to the police, they can do a meticulous investigation, with everything needed to lock the monsters up and the key thrown away based upon penalties already on the books. Where it falls apart is a criminal justice system that would seize up if it weren’t for plea bargains — and those on the bench who are either monsters themselves or their cronies are monsters or they are too dense/indoctrinated/stupid to understand monsters need to be, and stay, locked up. Like you, my battle continues and will continue. A support group has helped over the years, using the Christian-based, “Shelter from the Storm” workbook. What we do is go through the course, a unit a week. Then a year later, we go through it again. I’ve done it many times, and, like the facilitator says, it’s like peeling back the layers of an onion. Between each time, what was peeled off is allowed time to heal up. It works.
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Thanks so much for your comments about institutionalized abuse, and your description of what happens within our so-called ‘criminal justice’ system. I sometimes wonder whether collaborators have a clue about this kind of exploitation. Like you, I’ve worked systematically (with professional help) for years on my own issues.
The church and church-related institutions have been the primary, but not the only places in which I’ve experienced abuse of power (as a female). My father was an ordained clergyman and my perpetrator from before I can remember. When I was growing up, being his daughter and a loyal church-goer contributed to the shame of it all. I’ve come a long way in the last 30+ years, yet agree with you: it doesn’t completely go away. It spirals around, going deeper with each new level. At the same time, I believe our spirits spiral upward just a bit more with each new revelation or issue that comes up in the layers of the onion.
I’m familiar with the book you mention, and am happy to hear about you and your support group. Your discipline (going back through the workbook each year, together) sounds like a healthy way to stay focused on what really matters. We won’t heal without companions and allies, especially when things get bleak–as they are right now for many children and adults. The other thing we must do is tell our stories over and over–until this plague is blotted out.
Blessings of peace and grace.
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Lots of hypocrites in religion I do believe, makes it hard for those that are sincere in their beliefs,
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Indeed it does. It also serves as a reminder of how vulnerable we all are–not just of becoming victims, but of becoming perpetrators. Sexual misconduct doesn’t know any boundaries, sadly.
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I was never a rake, in fact I was asexual, which went a long way to breaking up my first marriage; my first wife would have been 80 today and we’d have been married 60 years.
After the treatment for prostate cancer I was left completely sterile and it never worried or bothered me at all, selfish really but then I’ve always put me first
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Thanks for sharing, Brian. I think…. In any case, prostrate cancer is no fun, and I’m glad to know you survived the treatment.
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It killed my brother, he was living back in England and we have a better medical system here, He should have stayed. It also killed my GP, What ever happened to physician heal thyself; he was an excellent doctor too, went to him for many years, he saved my daughter Emma’s life when she was around 6 or 7, which was very fortunate indeed else Ruby and Poppy May would have been floating around in space looking for the right mummy still.
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D has had a brush with it, too. No fun. And we’re glad it was caught.
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I’ve had 2 brushes with cancer, so I expect it to get me in the end,
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