Days pass swiftly.
Time seems to be speeding by.
Yesterday I read another chapter from Mary Oliver’s Upstream,
and felt small and late in coming to this place.
Not by informed choice, but from neglect,
and ignorance about this world.
Held back. Stunted. Fenced in.
Living at best a half-life of external demands, distractions,
and danger looming around every corner.
Unsafe. Captive to other’s ideas, attitudes and power.
Now near the end, it seems
I lived a half-life that wasn’t entirely mine.
On quiet days I long for another opportunity to live
and taste life on my terms, from the inside out,
not as a timid onlooker into the lives of others.
Am I ungrateful?
Or just sad….even brokenhearted.
Perhaps a broken heart is a beginning, not the end.
That, and playing the piano as though
for the very first time.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 4 February 2019
Photo of path in Ireland found on pinterest.com