Edinburgh Castle, high above the City
I can’t believe we did it! D and I left Smudge with our son’s family, flew out of Philadelphia on September 1, and spent nearly 2 ½ weeks in Scotland celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. One of our great adventures together. Read the rest of this entry »
When we got married September 11, 1965, we weren’t thinking about what it might mean to celebrate our anniversaries early in September. Nor did we know that both of us would become graduate students and then geeky academics who have to show up for teaching and other duties during early September no matter what!
Bottom line: Yes, we celebrated over the years, but it was often low-key. You know. Dinner out, wherever and whenever we could afford it. Cards and the occasional gift that stood out from the others. Now and then we settled for a substitute day, usually on a weekend.
Then we got into academic administration. Not at the same institution, mind you! But we got into it, and that meant duties began in August. When September came around nobody was even thinking of taking a day or two off. At least we weren’t.
In 2011, I retired from my position at the seminary. D, however, decided he would like to work for an indeterminate number of years before retiring. We’re virtually the same age, so this wasn’t about age. His work involved a lot of international travel, sometimes on the date of our wedding anniversary.
As of this month, however, D has actually retired! Sort of. He’ll still do some traveling, and help with projects during the transition. But we now have no excuses about not celebrating properly, and we have missed opportunities to redeem—if that’s possible.
Since it’s our 50th, we decided to take 2-3 weeks and just do whatever we want to do. I won’t tell you what we’re going to do. So don’t ask. But I will say part of it involves day trips, restaurants, hiking, birding, museums, lazing around and whatever else strikes our fancy.
Why am I telling you this? Because I’m not going to do heavy-duty posting for the next 2 to 3 weeks. That means things like my Faculty Wife series will be on hold. Hopefully I’ll have some lighter posts that you’ll enjoy. I will be checking in from time to time, so don’t stop coming by!
Thanks for your faithful reading—which doesn’t mean reading everything (unless you really want to!). It just means showing up regularly or as you’re able, to listen in and be part of the conversation.
I can’t help heaving a big sigh every time I think about it. Fifty years of living with D! Maybe I’ll have a few things to say about that in the next 2-3 weeks.
I pray God’s blessing on each of you, in whatever ways you need blessing right now.
Elouise
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 31 August 2015
Photo credit: DAFraser, June 2015
Children’s Garden in the Longwood Gardens Conservatory
It’s Christmastime 1995, just days before Diane received her ALS diagnosis. She’s already challenged because of unexplained muscle loss.
When I transcribed this children’s sermon I was surprised to hear the words she whispered at the end, right after her children’s prayer. The microphone was still turned on. I could hear that she already needed some of that kindness and extra help she just talked about. A telling moment.
17 December 1995
You can see I’ve got my bag here that says I’ve been doing heavy-duty Christmas shopping! Actually some of it isn’t just for Christmas. You might call it birthday shopping.
Is there somebody’s birthday on Christmas? Whose? Oh, yes, it’s Jesus’ birthday! I was just testing to see if you remembered.
So I did some birthday shopping for Jesus. Let me show you what I got.
So that was some birthday shopping for Jesus! Of course Jesus really doesn’t need to come and eat any of this.
But he told us in the Bible that if we do a kind thing for someone who needs it–if we provide food for someone who doesn’t have enough food, or–I could have bought some clothes, because he said if we provide clothes for people who don’t have warm clothes, or don’t have the clothes they need–If we do it for someone else who needs it, it’s the same as doing it for him!
How about that? If I want to buy gifts for Jesus, all I need to do is go get some gifts, and give them to somebody who needs them! Or even show some kindness to someone who needs a little kindness.
There’s one other thing down here in the bag. One of these. You know what it is? That’s one of our Christmas offering envelopes that we use for giving a missionary offering. That’s another way to give a gift to Jesus.
Why? Because the kindest thing we can do for another person is to make sure they know about Jesus, and his love for them. And that’s a birthday gift for Jesus, too!
In a couple of weeks we’re going to collect more food for folks in our area who might need some. So I brought these things today, and I’ll make sure they get in with all the food others will bring. Maybe some of you will, too.
Did you know we can give gifts to Jesus all year round in this way? You do? Good!
I like having this really neat way to give Jesus gifts for his birthday! Some of you already brought Christmas gifts that went to a children’s Bible club yesterday. That’s another way of giving gifts to Jesus this Christmas.
Of course I’m doing shopping for my family, too. They don’t have to worry!
But here’s my point. Let’s be sure to include some shopping for Jesus. Not just for our families. We can give food or clothing or even kindness to someone who needs it. Let’s pray together.
Thank you, Jesus, that you’ve told us a good way to give you gifts that show our love for you. We pray that at this special time of year and the rest of the year we’ll remember to do kind things and give food and clothes to other people because we love you, and want to please you. And we pray that because we do those things, more people will know that you love them, too. These things we pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.
[Whispered into the mic, as Diane is getting up from the platform stairs: “I’ve got my helper! Thank you.” Diane’s helper was either her husband, who was almost always with her on Sundays, or a staff member or friend who’d agreed to help her stand up after the children’s sermon.]
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 29 August 2015
Image from aliexpress.com
Do you long for world peace? George MacDonald’s theme here is similar to earlier sonnets—the slow pace of our progress toward peace. Or, put another way, Read the rest of this entry »
Today, Friday, I’m making progress on my latest to-do lists. Not that you knew about them, or should care. Nonetheless, this is the only new post you’ll receive from me today.
I can, however, highly recommend any of my 533 earlier posts, most notably the Just for Fun posts. You can find them by clicking on Just for Fun, (located next to Filed Under:) or further down in Categories (click on Select Category). No, this is not a homework assignment for you. I’m doing the homework. You’re doing whatever you’re doing.
Happy Friday!
Elouise
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 27 August 2015
Several things stand out in my dream:
Assumptions I’ve made:
Two questions came to mind right after I woke up:
Here’s how I’m thinking about the dream today.
I’m one of Jesus’ reclamation projects. I also have countless others to thank for helping pick me up from various trash heaps.
Some trash heaps were designed specifically for women. Sometimes I seem to have chosen a trash heap on my own. I say it that way because part of being reclaimed means understanding the dynamics of coercion, seduction and being set up for failure. Nonetheless, I’ve been reclaimed many times over.
In fact, it’s reassuring that this team is going to look for discards (people). I’m happy others are out there looking. Maybe they’ll find me again someday.
My father was a great improviser. Not of music, but of solutions to things that didn’t work properly (machines, not people). He kept a shed and back yard full of what some people would call ‘junk.’ The kinds of things Depression-era women and men valued for their as yet unknown future use.
So here I am, a reclaimed woman, musician and now a blogger who happens to be a theologian. What do I offer women and men who visit and read what I write? And where does my ‘junk’ come from?
I offer the mostly improvised music of my heart, mind and soul. I use memories, bits and pieces of knowledge I’ve collected, old photos, new photos, and other people’s writings that move me. I also use my experience, including what happened and happens to me on the inside. Things like secrets and less-than-beautiful behaviors.
I can’t do this alone. I need others who show me how they do it, or who ask me tough questions. I need to hear them play their music. It doesn’t matter whether it’s overtly theological or not. If it moves me, it rings true. It brings joy, tears, thoughtfulness, challenge, clarity of sight, grief and sadness, or the knowledge that I’m alive and not alone.
As a blogger, my reclamation project is about recovering parts of my life that got trashed along the way, internally and externally. It’s also about being alert for pieces of your lives that inspire me to write yet more unscripted posts that reclaim some of my personal ‘junk.’
Whether it comes from you or from me, it’s music. It doesn’t banish the pain of life, or focus only on what’s beautiful to divert attention from what’s real. Rather, it’s music that accompanies all of life, inviting both sadness and joy to be heard, heeded and shared.
My father’s unexpected improvisation on his guitar is a sign. It shows what can happen when other music, especially from strangers, inspires me to improvise songs I didn’t know I’d lost along the way.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 26 August 2015
Image from 123RF.com
This morning I had a dream just before waking. The kind I can’t forget. Here it is, with nothing omitted. I have some ideas about it, but first, here’s the dream.
It’s early in the morning. The sun is just beginning to rise. I’m walking up a street on a slight hill. I notice about a dozen vans parked on the street and in an outdoor parking lot. They’re all black, with simple white logos. Each logo is slightly different from the others, and is accompanied by a team name. I’ve been given a task to carry out with one of the teams. I hadn’t realized there were other teams.
I approach my destination, walking toward the building where I’m to meet the team. I hear music playing. It sounds like a jam session. The building is open-air style on the ground floor next to the street, so I can see what’s happening inside. A team of women and men are playing music together. Each seems to be playing a different instrument. I don’t see a formal conductor. Some team members are arriving at the same time I’m getting there.
The room they’re in is next to another building, also open so I can see who’s in it. Right there, up against the wall adjoining the musicians’ building, I see my father. He’s leaning against the wall, sitting, and playing a guitar. In fact, he’s playing along with the other musicians. I never knew he played a guitar! The other musicians can hear him but they can’t see him. He’s much older than they are, and doesn’t see me.
I wonder whether my father knows what he’s doing. He’s not part of the team still gathering next door. Fortunately, he’s picking the guitar softly, trying to connect with the music coming from the next space over. I hear the music coming close to ending. As it does, I already know somehow that the guitar will be the last instrument heard.
So far the music has been similar to jazz improvisation. My father doesn’t know much about jazz. So I’m surprised that as the performance winds down, his guitar playing becomes crystal clear and creative. I can scarcely believe my ears. It’s beautiful. My father never looks up to see me, and I don’t stop to say anything. It’s as though he’s in a different world.
I’m here to meet this team of recently employed workers. I didn’t know they were musicians. That’s not the job they were hired to do. I tell them how beautiful their music is and how much I enjoyed hearing it as I walked up the hill. I can tell they already work well together.
Just then one of my sisters joins the group. I’m surprised and happy to see her. I’m not sure which sister it is. At first I think it’s Sister #2. Then I take another look and think it might be Sister #4.
I explain that I’m here to take the team through the last phase of their orientation. They have one last task before they go out to do their work. Each of them is to write a brief personal statement about how and why you do this work, connecting it with something significant that guides the way you actually do the work.
I already know the nature of their work. They’ll be going through the neighborhood collecting things that have been thrown away. Each of them needs to tell me how and why they do this. For example, they might say, “I work in this way (describe it) because it connects with the way Jesus worked.” I have in mind a reclamation project.
I wake up happy, wondering what this dream is saying about me.
To be continued. . . .
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 25 August 2015
Image from chickhughes.com
FRAGILE
Handle with Care
I’ve never been an extrovert. I have, though, witnessed insensitivity toward the feelings and unpredictable responses of extroverted children who don’t have skin made of iron.
Surprisingly, our extroverted USA culture Read the rest of this entry »
1995 Mobile Phones, from suggestkeyword.com
By March 1995, Diane has undiagnosed ALS symptoms. Muscles that are here today may disappear overnight. Whatever this is, it’s bigger than post-polio syndrome. Connections with family members become a top priority. Anytime, anywhere.
March 19, 1995
Do you know what this is? It’s a telephone! Usually I don’t bring it to church. But if I need to make a phone call, I like to have it handy.
Here’s the really neat thing about it. I don’t have to be at a certain place to make a phone call! I can be anywhere I want. In my car somewhere. Shopping in the mall. Maybe in the grocery store—more often in a restaurant! I could even make a phone call in the church. I haven’t done that yet, and don’t plan to. But I could!
This phone reminds me a bit of talking to God.
I can talk to God anywhere I go!
Here’s another great thing about this phone. Suppose somebody wants to call me when I’m not near the usual kind of phone. Maybe I’m out in my car, or doing some of that shopping in the mall. Can they call me there? Yes!
My family knows the number for this phone, so that when they dial me, it rings. Most of the time. Sometimes I don’t turn on my phone, so they can’t reach me! And sometimes my husband will ask, “Where were you, and why wasn’t your phone turned on?”
In fact, no one can reach me if I don’t turn my phone on. Which reminds me of something else about talking to God.
Sometimes God wants to talk to me, and I’m not listening. It usually happens here at church when the preacher is preaching, or when I’m reading the Bible, or maybe when I’m listening to a Sunday School teacher. Those are all ways God talks to us. Sometimes I know I’m not listening.
So this little phone reminds me to stay turned on so that when God wants to talk to me I’m listening, and I can hear what God has to say to me.
I knew a child (not one of my kids!), who once told her mother, “Yes I hear you, but I’m not listening!” Sometimes we can be that way with God, right now and as we get older. Sometimes we really don’t want to hear what God is telling us. So sometimes we can just turn God off the way I can turn my telephone off.
So I ask God to help me to be a good listener, and to keep my “on” button turned on, so that whenever God wants to talk to me, I’m ready to listen.
Sometimes the batteries on my telephone run down, or there may be other problems with the phone. But when I talk to God, I don’t need to worry about any of that! The batteries never run down and I’m never too far away. I don’t even have to worry about monthly bills coming later.
That’s because God set it all up! It’s a free call anytime of the day! Whenever I need to call! And anytime I just want to talk with God, because God is a good friend who loves to have us call and talk.
Let’s pray together.
Thank you, Father, that even without a special device or telephone, we can talk to you anytime, anyplace, no matter what’s going on. And you hear us. Thank you for being that kind of listener for us. I pray, Father, that when you want to speak to us, we’ll be good listeners, too, and be able to hear what you’re saying to us, and learn the things that you want us to learn. Be with us in church today. If there are things you want to say to us today, I pray that we’ll be good listeners, and hear everything that you want us to hear today. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 22 August 2015
Image of 1995 Mobile Phones from suggestkeyword.com
Some of you may already know about non-diabetic fasting hypoglycemia. It’s relatively rare. I have it. I’ve had symptoms for several years—mild, and always tamed by eating. But until now I didn’t have a clear diagnosis.
In the last couple of years the symptoms got worse, and I ended up collapsing twice and losing consciousness. No seizures, coma, or other bad things that might have happened. D was there both times to catch me on the way down.
The cause is simple: low blood sugar as a result of fasting. No, this has nothing to do with fasting and praying! It’s about the amount of time between snacks/meals, especially during the night.
Besides non-diabetic fasting hypoglycemia, there’s a related non-diabetic hypoglycemia disorder called insulinoma. It’s caused by a small, usually benign tumor on the pancreas that causes blood sugar to drop as insulin levels soar. Thanks to many blood tests and, yes, fasting (!), I do not have insulinoma, which can usually be resolved through surgery to remove the tumor.
So now I pay attention to the amount of time between meals and snacks, and especially between my late night snack and breakfast the following day. When I get up in the morning, I have a snack. Food as medicine! Not bad.
If I feel early warning signs, I take glucose tablets even though I just had a snack. Then I wait about 10-15 minutes so the glucose can kick in–or I need to take a couple more tablets.
Once the symptoms get going, they escalate quickly. They affect my eyesight, ability to talk, balance and coordination, muscle strength and ability to think clearly.
I usually notice my eyesight first. Things get slightly out of focus and jump around. Or my arms feel weak and heavy when I dry my hair. When the glucose kicks in, I get to the kitchen for breakfast. Passing out means it’s time for someone to call 9-1-1.
There’s a bright side to this. I’m not a candidate for diabetes. I get to nibble away at food all day long. I don’t have a problem gaining too much weight. Best of all, I know what’s going on.
Do I worry about it? Not now. At first I was apprehensive about whether I could manage this when D was away. But I’ve gotten myself through several episodes that ended happily. Which means I didn’t lose consciousness. I’m also ordering a medical ID to wear.
In the end, I not going to live in this world forever. I’ve had an amazing journey with God and with the women, men and children whose lives have intersected with mine.
For several weeks I’ve been erratic about visiting bloggers, and haven’t posted regularly. I just wanted you to know why. I was spending time with doctors, nurses, and other friendly medical staff.
Maybe you or someone you love has this condition. If so, I’m in good company!
Thanks for reading. Right now it’s time for another snack….
Elouise
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 21 August 2015
Yummy Photo from hummusguide.com
Telling the Truth 