Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Category: Haiku/Poetry

winter sun

winter sun pierces
my paralyzed heart waking
frozen grief at will

*  *  *  *  *

Buried deep, forgotten
Denied, minimized, ignored
Silenced, unexamined

Held at bay
‘It wasn’t that bad’
‘Others had it worse’

Ashamed of my own story
Just another privileged woman
Who doesn’t get it

Afraid to shine a light
On darkness that seems
To have overpowered me

You mean you’re this old and
You still haven’t gotten over it
Beyond it, done already?

Normal
We want normal
How much longer will this take. . . ?

Winter sun does its work
In the fullness of God’s time
Not one moment sooner

Haiku written 25 February 2014

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 26 February 2014

iced ground

iced ground wind-whipped snow
mother squirrel looks for scarce food
huddled nestlings wait

*  *  *  *  *

She’s sitting on the frigid deck rail outside my kitchen window.
I’m sitting at my kitchen table, eating hot breakfast.
Her nipples stand out—she has babies to feed.
Her coat is heavy, tangled, patchy, worn.
She watches me from her icy perch.
She seems anxious, haggard.
She doesn’t rest for long.
The babies are hungry.
So is she.

I can’t help thinking about Mother. Especially after we moved out of our communal Southwest home into our one-family Southeast home. Yes, it was quiet, less frenetic. Good for Mother’s health.  But I wonder.

Being on our own as a family is a shock.  Mother is still recovering from polio, finding ways to live life without bodily functions she can’t take for granted anymore. Yet no matter how she feels, we need to eat. Three times a day.

I think about our communal home.  Here’s what Mother can’t count on anymore:

  • Women who share cooking, cleaning, and other daily chores
  • A large kitchen set up for daily cooking from scratch, with lots of workspace and storage space
  • A cellar lined with shelves of home-canned fish, vegetables, fruits, applesauce, jams, jellies and sauerkraut, plus large batches of whole wheat flour, oatmeal, sugar, powdered milk, canned milk, and other non-perishable bulk items
  • Citrus trees, berry bushes, and a large vegetable garden tended by some of the men and women
  • Chickens that lay eggs regularly; other chickens that someone can butcher for dinner
  • A dairy farm just across the highway where milk is abundant and cheap
  • Shared resources, especially when it comes to food
  • Someone to fill in for her or take care of us when she needs to rest or be away for physical therapy

Granted, it wasn’t paradise. People had to get along with each other. Some seemed to do more of their fair share than others. But we weren’t hungry, and Mother wasn’t responsible for getting it all on the table three times a day.

Haiku written 12 January 2014
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 16 February 2014

carolina wren

carolina wren
peers into old beer bottle –
empty still Read the rest of this entry »

she sits silent

she sits silent
focused and determined
not to eat

A Short Story

Suppertime, early in the 1950s
Sister #3 sits in her high chair Read the rest of this entry »

liquid call

liquid call
soars above drenched grass
drink your teeeee….

I’m out on an early morning walk, trying to beat the sweltering heat and humidity
An overnight thunderstorm made things worse, not better
With each breath heavy damp air invades my lungs
I don’t see the towhee but I hear him
and burst out laughing
Thank you brother!
Smooth cool
iced tea
drops


© Elouise Renich Fraser, 18 January 2014

salty tide

salty tide
laps against dock
marsh hen clacks

It’s nineteen-fifty-something Read the rest of this entry »

man walking my way

11 July 2012

man walking my way
across deserted playground
trees inhale . . . . . . . . hold breath

Is he safe?  It’s 6:30am.  What’s he doing here at this time of day?  Looks like he’s been sleeping in the park. Rumpled work clothes—not very clean or stylish. He’s watching me. Thank goodness I’m wearing sunglasses.  Read the rest of this entry »

thick roots

P1040831

thick roots tangled knots
barely hanging onto bank
drink deep waters

* * *

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 2 January 2014
Photo credit: DAFraser, October 2012
Hoyt Arboretum, Portland, Oregon