Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Tag: Diary of an Old Soul

Neither this nor that

Mary and Martha, He Qi

In the late 1970s I was studying theology at Vanderbilt University. Getting through coursework and comprehensive exams was frightful enough. But more terrifying was the requirement that I write a dissertation that would Read the rest of this entry »

Holy Things and Unholy Greed

Hoarding Manna
What have I stored up for later in the pantry of my mind? In the subterranean corners of my basement, or upstairs in the attic?

Stuff. Lots of it. Not bad stuff. In fact, Read the rest of this entry »

Thou art my eternity.

At the Back of the North Wind 2.jpg

~~~Diamond listening to the voice of North Wind from his hayloft bedroom

Do you ever wish for a lullaby? George MacDonald’s sonnet for today reminds me of a lullaby. It instills trust, not fear.

He begins with “O Father, thou art my eternity.” In his sonnets, MacDonald doesn’t often call God Father. Even here he reverts later to his more often used “Lord.” But not until he sets the stage with “O Father….”

I own an edited volume of MacDonald’s letters. The first letter in the volume was written in 1833, the year after MacDonald’s mother died. He was 8 years old. His letter begins “My dear Papa,” and ends with “I remain, my dear Papa, your affectionate son George Macdonald.”

He writes from Portsoy, Scotland, where he’s staying with his younger brother at an aunt’s home. He wants his Papa to come and stay with them until they return to Huntly. He doesn’t like drinking the water here, so refuses to drink it. He also says, “I am sorry that my writing is so bad but my pen is very bad.”

There’s something simple and straightforward in his letter that reflects child-like trust in Papa. He tells him about his visit, including the state of his health (not good) for the last few days, and finding the carcass of a whale that had washed up onto the shore.

These and other bits of information add up to this: he misses his Papa and longs to see him. Something of that spirit pervades this simple, straightforward sonnet written to his other Father.

August 6

O Father, thou art my eternity.
Not on the clasp of consciousness—on thee
My life depends; and I can well afford
All to forget, so thou remember, Lord.
In thee I rest; in sleep thou dost me fold;
In thee I labour; still in thee, grow old;
And dying, shall I not in thee, my Life, be bold?

George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul
Augsburg Fortress Press 1994

Here, as in his phantasy tales, MacDonald challenges himself and us to think about reality from the outside in.

For example, when North Wind comes to visit Diamond the first time, Diamond is trying to sleep in the drafty loft of a stable house where he and his parents live. There are cracks in the timber walls, and holes through which icy North Wind blows in the winter.

The holes are covered with pieces of brown paper. Sometimes they come loose and must be replaced. Over several days, North Wind keeps blowing the paper from one of these holes. Diamond is at his wit’s end. It’s cold and he doesn’t want to get up and cover the hole yet again.

One night he hears a soft voice just beyond the paper-covered hole. He puts his ear to the hole. Sure enough, North Wind is trying to get his attention. She wants him to remove the paper from the hole so she can see out her window!

Her window? How could that be? Isn’t this Diamond’s hayloft bedroom? And his little window?

As it turns out, it is not! This is North Wind’s window which she herself made, and from which she looks out of her great house into Diamond’s house. Which, by the way, is actually contained within Her World. She isn’t an intruder at all.

Getting this basic fact clear takes a while. It isn’t easy for Diamond to grasp North Wind’s strange perspective.

MacDonald’s sonnet above, like others, conveys his God-centered perspective. We exist within and as part of God’s reality. Created, pursued, challenged and watched over from cradle to grave and beyond.

Remembered by God, we can work and rest peacefully in every stage of life, death and beyond. Though it may seem God is absent, God will not forget us, even if we forget ourselves.

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 13 February 2016
Wood Carving by Arthur Hughes, included as an illustration in MacDonald’s At the Back of the North Wind. Illustration found at etc.usf.edu.

Opening the windows to God’s wind

at-the-back-of-the-north-wind-bw-12, Maria Louise Kirk, 1860-1938 cropped

That’s all I have to do — open the windows to God’s wind.

During the last 24 hours I’ve been up and I’ve been down. So far down I thought my mind wouldn’t escape its endless loop in the early hours of the morning when I couldn’t sleep. Read the rest of this entry »

Sychar’s margin cool | From an Old Soul

Jacob's Well at Sychar, E0587

It seems George MacDonald’s life is like a tug of war. His sonnet for today describes the place where he would like to stay, “nor ever leave.” My personal reflections follow. Read the rest of this entry »

a little lazy peace | From an Old Soul

robert burns

Last week George MacDonald was on top of the world! Surveying his life’s inheritance, at peace with his Maker, and entering into “liberty’s divine expanse.” Now the tone shifts abruptly. Things don’t seem as rosy as they were yesterday. My comments follow.

August 2

It will be so—ah, so it is not now!
Who seeks thee for a little lazy peace,
Then, like a man all weary of the plough,
That leaves it standing in the furrow’s crease,
Turns from thy presence for a foolish while,
Till comes again the rasp of unrest’s file,
From liberty is distant many a mile.

George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul
Augsburg Fortress 1994

Read the rest of this entry »

my life’s inheritance | From an Old Soul

Sunrise, dawn-kinnoull-hill-river-tay-scotland-5051757749

~~~~~Dawn sunrise from Kinnoull Hill above the River Tay, Scotland

I can’t help it! Abandoning George MacDonald is not a possibility. So today we’re embarking on his August sonnets. He’s still talking with his Lord, though from a slightly different perspective. As before, his conversations with God include striking images, personal struggle, Read the rest of this entry »

Living upon thy air | From an Old Soul

“Living upon thy air.” The air God gives me with each breath. Air that binds me to you by way of Christ, the Lord of life. Not with ropes, chains, locks, or any number of good deeds to prove I deserve special treatment.

MacDonald’s last two sonnets for July are Read the rest of this entry »

Living in thy realities | From an Old Soul

I want life to follow my way,  truth, my notions about how things are or should be. I’m not alone. My comments follow George MacDonald’s sonnets. Read the rest of this entry »

I love thee for I must | From an Old Soul

Have you ever prayed  for healing? Here’s a challenging entry from George MacDonald’s Diary of an Old Soul. My comments follow.

July 26

Some say that thou their endless love hast won
By deeds for them which I may not believe
Thou ever didst, or ever willedst done:
What matter, so they love thee? They receive
Eternal more than the poor loom and wheel
Of their invention ever wove and spun.
I love thee for I must, thine all from head to heel. Read the rest of this entry »