Death haunts the pages
Of our minds and hearts
A shadow reality bearing down
On irreplaceable relationships
Who am I without you?
Where am I to go without you?
How much agony can one soul bear?
Each beginning moves
Ineluctably toward its end
Knowing and not knowing
How the plot will play
Your death becomes my death
Bankrupt dreams and hopes
Why didn’t we see it coming?
As though we were omniscient
I’m left asking myself what must I/we do to be ‘ready’? The question is urgent, and yet…
It’s always too soon, until it’s too late.
Dr. Ira Byock, M.D., quotes this saying in his book The Four Things That Matter Most. The book isn’t just for people facing imminent death of a loved one. It’s for anyone, anytime, anywhere.
The four things are simple and life-changing. They won’t take away the pain of death. They will, however, help the people we leave behind deal with the reality of our absence.
Here they are, four things to say to those you love before it’s too late:
Please forgive me.
I forgive you.
I love you.
I can’t recommend this book highly enough. Especially now, in light of multiple tragedies here and around the world. Death piled on death. Expected and unexpected. Close to home and in our news feeds daily.
Of course there are things that ‘need to be done’ to decrease the kinds of death we’ve witnessed already this year. Yet none of that will prepare me for my death or the deaths of those I love. That’s what’s on my heart this afternoon.
Blessings of peace,
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 2 October 2017