Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Tag: Vulnerability

Hi, I’m Smudge. . .

Prince Oliver Smudge the Second, August 2014

Prince Oliver Smudge the Second, August 2014

while Queen Elouise
is away Prince Smudge will play
be-bop-a-lula!

*****

I’m her baby
And I don’t mean maybe!

***

How’s that for my very first haiku + poem?
I think it’s way past time for you to hear about ME–
straight from the cat’s mouth!

*

My Short Long Tail Tale of Being Lost and Found

Someone abandoned me in a state park!
Lost, lonely, scared, hungry and soaked with rain,
No one seemed to care about me.
I cried a lot.

One day I looked up and saw two very large, long-hair animals
standing on two legs each.
They smiled a lot, talked sweet and held their arms out to me,
but I knew better.
I wasn’t about to let them get their big paws on me!

After a long time they left without me.
I didn’t know whether to be relieved or sorrowful.
Then they came back,
thanks to their kind, patient chauffeur mother.
They waited around until they saw me again,
but guess what?
I was already watching them.
They were being very cagey.

They opened a little can of kitty food and held it out
so I could smell it.
I almost died, it smelled so yummy!
But I KNEW they were just trying to trick me!
So they kept consulting with each other,
conspiring about what to do next.

Suddenly they nodded their heads in twinly agreement.
I knew right then I was in double do-do.
Two against one is never fair!
They looked at me and started backing up very slowly,
leaving little crumbs of  yummy chicken-flavored cat food
on the ground, sort of like Hansel and Gretel
in the  deep dark scary woods.
Even though I knew it was dangerous,
I followed the trail.

The path of cat food bits led to a parking lot
with a car that had a big cage in it.
And guess what?
The rest of the food was sitting in the can,
right inside the cage!
I KNEW it was a trick.
Didn’t I just tell you they were very cagey?

But what’s a hungry kitty to do?

Smudge on Rescue Day, 9 Aug 2013

So they shut me up in the big cage and took me somewhere.
I found out later it was a barn.
They took me to a room of my very own
so the other animals wouldn’t bother me.
Then they made a charming kitty hotel with food, water, a litter box
and clean, dry, soft blankets just for me!
I was so happy that I wanted to cry.
But instead I purred and decided I must be in cat heaven.

Next they told Queen Elouise
they had a kitty she might like to meet and maybe keep!
They also told her
they already made an appointment with the cat doctor
who would give me a full checkup and shots.

I think Queen Elouise was a little nervous, because it was so sudden.
But  she came to meet me and, of course, decided to take me to her house.
I’ve been living there now for one year!

 It’s hard work training QE to think like a cat,
but she has a kind heart and loves me silly
even though she sometimes gets all exasperated with me.
Every now and then she laughs at me so hard
that tears stream down her face,
and she can barely catch her breath.
Sometimes I think she might pass out right on the spot!

Below is one of my long-hair rescuers.
She’s holding me the day I met Queen Elouise,
just two days after I got rescued.

You can see why I’m called Smudge.

QE named me Smudge.
Then everybody added on other bits to create my formal title:
Prince Oliver Smudge the Second!

Do you like before and after pictures?
I do!
Especially if they’re about me.

Smudge on 11 August 2013

Smudge on 29 Sept 2013

Out of time!
I hear Queen Elouise coming in the front door right now!
Maybe we can do this again sometime.

Yours very truly,
Smudge

***

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 1 September 2014
Photo credits:  MNFraser (11 Aug 2013 photos), DAFraser (all others)

wind-whipped branches

wind-whipped branches writhe
nestling birds cling for dear life
nature on rampage

* * * * *

It’s 3:00 am

I’m alone in the house Read the rest of this entry »

No pretense, no apologies, no regrets | Dear Diane,

ALS is relentless.  Diane’s loss of speech happens in stages.  More than anything else, it steadily brings her ‘normal’ life to a screeching halt.  No more easygoing give and take with Diane around a meal or cup of tea or coffee. Read the rest of this entry »

God’s Beloved Daughter-Child | Part 3 of 4

I haven’t always called myself God’s beloved daughter-child.  For years I wouldn’t have dared presume such a high-minded view of myself.  How did this happen?  And how might this help me think about what I believed when I was 11 years old?

This post is about the first question:  How did this happen?  The second will wait.  Thanks for being patient.  If I don’t address today’s topic first, I’ll end up picking my childhood theology to pieces. Read the rest of this entry »

How am I doing? | Dear Diane, . . .

It’s September 1997, less than a year since Diane was diagnosed with ALS.  The disease seems to have a mind of its own.  In her case, it has decided to concentrate on her ability to speak.  Diane wrote the following piece about this loss. Read the rest of this entry »

Patting or touching? | Dear Diane, . . .

By the summer of 1997, about 1 ½ years after diagnosis, Diane’s speech and body no longer look or behave as usual.  Sadly, I no longer know how to behave as usual around her.  ALS is invading her body and her life. Read the rest of this entry »

Female Bodies and Sex Ed | Part 3 of 3

It’s 1960.  I’m 16 years old and I just graduated from high school.  I thought you’d like to see how I filled in the gaps between Daddy’s Sex Ed 101 and my graduation.

My Sex Ed 102 Learning Resources with Annotations by Me
*My parents’ everyday relationship with each other.  Mother seems to have no voice and no vote. Read the rest of this entry »

Boyfriends | Part 3 of 3

My father set out to attain one goal:  to break my will.  So did he?  Back then I would have argued that he most certainly did NOT break my will!  See how much spunk I still have in me?  Just listen to the angry voices in my head!  I might be sitting down on the outside, but I’M DEFINITELY STANDING UP ON THE INSIDE! Read the rest of this entry »

Tell me if you can, if you dare–

When did it all begin?
When did I enter your supply chain?
When did I become a commodity, a disposable object
not for sale but for use on demand,
with or without pay?

When did I become your toy
to imagine as prey,
to stalk, hunt down,
toss around and torment
with or without warning? Read the rest of this entry »

silouetted high

silhouetted high
atop a bare tree the dove
coos a mourning song

* * *

non-judgmental, calm, soothing
predictable, unhurried, hypnotic
soft, clear, ubiquitous
unobtrusive, gentle, alert
present, unyielding, quiet
reassuring presence  of God
in, with, above, beneath, around and for
each aching, bewildered, terrified corner of our
hope-hungry world
with its everyday heartaches, pain, despair,
starvation, contempt, betrayals,
confusion and brokenness

God,
Grant us courage
to accept and to be present, quiet hope today
 as one of your creatures
in just one corner of this tired old world
you still love so much.
Amen

* * * * * * *

Haiku written 24 June 2014
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 25 June 2014