Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Tag: Who am I today

Sorting through closets

Sorting through closets
I’m overcome by sadness
about what?

Beloved outfits, yes
And also reminders of a time
when I was what?

Somebody?
A worker bee all dressed up for slaughter?
A shining star in someone else’s grand career?

I need another outlook
On these outgrown outfits
Consciously assembled to cover
A harmless woman
Not seeking glory or fame
Easy to work with
A good team player
Not given to outlandish clothes
Or calling attention to herself

I’m not mean
I’m neat and tidy
Unpretentious
Don’t mess with me
And by the way
I’m not sure who I am

Today’s work isn’t the end
It’s a beginning
An expansion
Not of what’s in my closet
But in my spirit —
The spirit of our Creator
Whose expansiveness goes
Beyond the boundaries of my small world
Into the vast unexplored territory
Of the woman I am already becoming

Most of my time right now is spent getting things ready for the contractors. They’ll begin work this coming Monday. In the meantime, we’ve been sorting things out, making another dent in our worldly goods.

As relieved as I am to be doing all this, I’m also grieving. The poem above is about going beyond my small world. Still, I carry happy memories of past collaborations with colleagues, and lively courses with students. My clothes are a reminder of good times, not just the other times.

Today I’m expanding. I also feel the drag of my upbringing and life as a woman in college, seminary-land, church, and society in general. I remind myself that our Creator is constantly expanding, moving into new territory, and calling out to us to follow, ready or not.

Elouise

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 7 September 2019
Image found at pixabay.com

Who am I today

Who am I today
she wondered just yesterday.
Small losses pile up
Autumn leaves drift through the air
A clock ticks in the background

It’s that time of year. I can’t avoid it. It reminds me life is short, and that from the day I was born I began to die.

Sad? Yes, especially now that I’ve lost family and friends I’ve loved, and often wish I’d known better.

Will I see them again? My faith tells me there’s more to life than this. Still, I won’t see or touch them again in this life.

The end sometimes feels inexorable. I can’t stop the clock from ticking, or predict when my time will run out.

I can, however, enjoy each moment of today. Beginning with a late afternoon walk before the sun goes down.

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 29 August 2017
Photo found at elrobotpescador.com
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Magnetic

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