Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Tag: Writing My Life

The Writing Life

One by one
Words spill out

One drop
At a time….
Or torrents
Of unexpected
Clarity

The beginning and the end
Of a fear-filled Heart
Mind Soul and Body
Delivered from silence
Word upon word falling
Onto the page and
Into the air

Free speech –
Visible and available
Against all odds
At great cost

I used to think writing about my life would be the end of fear. If not immediately, then over time as life moved on and I became ready and willing to write the next chapters.

I also thought I would learn to write freely, with ease and grace. Without angst or internal drama trying to redirect what wants to be direct. Without fear of consequences or kickback.

After all, there’s always this tempting possibility: Just change that small word. Or better yet, omit it. They’ll never know, and you’ll still be ‘telling the truth.’

And protecting myself from what?

There are a million ways to cover over truth—including how difficult it is to write truthfully, especially about myself. Some days content flows easily onto the page. I wake up knowing the first line or theme. Or I review yesterday evening’s journal entry and discover I’ve already pointed in a clear direction. No problem! Just pick up the pen and scribble away.

And then there are other days. Hence the poem above.

Happy Wednesday and Happy Writing!
Elouise

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 13 March 2019
Impressionist Painting of a Woman Writing, 1892, found at therumpus.net

Thorny Matters and a Happy Update | Photos

Maybe I’m crazy to put these two things together, but they are what they are! In a nutshell, it’s all about Longwood Gardens and what’s happening these days.

Yes, we celebrated our 52nd wedding anniversary at Longwood Gardens! See D’s gorgeous shot above? Evidence that thorny isn’t always ugly. Even though marriage is sometimes like picking a rose and getting the thorns.

Then there are those flowers you just have to wonder about. Why there? And what’s all that fluffy stuff? I don’t have a clue. Do you?

It feels like I’ve been thinking forever about putting some of my favorite blog posts into an ebook or something like that. Sometimes I feel like a snail that isn’t going anywhere. But here’s evidence that if I wait long enough, the beauty, form and shape might suddenly come clear–in a burst of sunlight in the late afternoon. Yes, it’s a Mexican Century Plant. Can you see the beautiful patterns on the back of the sword-leaves?

On another bright note, sometime over the last weekend, I passed two markers: 1000 posts and 1000 followers! I’ve decided that calls for at least two more walks in the meadow. One right here with you so I can show off more of D’s gorgeous photos from Monday’s visit, and another visit to Longwood before we lose this early fall weather. Here’s the only thorny thistle photo I could find from Monday’s meadow walk.

And here are a few last thorny/spiny beauties from inside the Conservatory.

With many thanks for your visits, likes and dislikes, comments, questions and generosity of time. I never guessed I’d love writing so much. Weird, because as an academic I’ve written all my life. But never like this–from my heart to your hearts, as truthfully as I’m able.

Elouise 

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 14 September 2017
Photos taken by DAFraser at Longwood Gardens, 11 September 2017
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Thorny

One Big Blur | An Update

Carolina Anne Fraser’s First Prize Youth Division, 2016 Audubon Photography Competition – Great Frigatebirds taken Near Española, Galápagos Islands, Ecuador

The last four weeks have been one big blur. Mostly medical appointments and family time, plus writing and visiting when I was able and awake. You’ve already heard about our visit with daughter Sherry and her husband to Longwood Gardens.

Another highlight was a visit to the James Audubon House and grounds. We met our son there and toured the old house and grounds. There were birds all over the place! The day was crystal clear, breezy and sunny, cool but not cold.

We went because one of our granddaughters had a prize-winning bird photo on display along with those of other winners and honorable mentions. Proud? Who me? Not just proud, but absolutely floored by her gift.

Back to reality and on another subject, “endless beauty” was my 900th post! I didn’t even notice until it was already out there. When I began blogging over three years ago, I never guessed I’d still be chugging away. One of the most personally rewarding things I do these days is look back at some of my writing, often getting teary in a happy way.

What I thought would be writing about my life has become writing my life. Not looking back so much as looking into the present. Especially as it impacts me directly as a citizen of the world and as a retired woman making my way toward the end of this life.

Daughter Sherry and her husband flew back to Oregon last week. It was bitter-sweet to be together. A reminder of how much family means as I age, and my health changes.

The day after they left, I saw my primary care physician to follow up on lab tests. My kidneys are in good shape right now. No sign of damage. I’ll see my cardiologist at the end of this week. I also have a call in to schedule a first appointment with a nephrologist (kidney doctor) who will oversee my Chronic Kidney Disease care.

My most difficult challenge is dealing with unpredictable energy and emotional highs and lows. That, and the constant need to prepare kidney-friendly food and get enough of it in me each day. D has kindly offered to learn a recipe or two that he can make for me each week.

On Mother’s Day I woke up exhausted after a tough night. Still recuperating from my relatively busy social life last week. So I stayed home from church and slept all morning. Got up, had some lunch, then went straight back to bed and slept more. A wonderful way to celebrate Mom’s Day! I recommend it highly.

I’m not able to write or visit as often as I once was, and am more laid back about what I write. So far, there’s always more than enough when I’m ready and able to write.

With hope for today, and huge thanks for your visits and comments,
Elouise

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 17 May 2017
Photo credit: DAFraser, May 2017

Party Time!

Sesame Street 2nd BDay Cupcakes

Calling all Muffin, Cupcake and Kookie Monsters! Dance ’til you Drop!

I love blogging! Why? Because I’m having fun, doing what my heart tells me to do, at least most of the time.

Three things stand out when I think about this past year. Read the rest of this entry »

Some things I don’t miss, some I do| Dear Diane

Dear Diane,
I’m going first today! As far as I know, I don’t have any more of your written pieces for family and friends. I know the last three were slightly out of order. But not by much. I’m grateful you gave me permission to make them all public.

This piece from you seems a fitting place to draw a line. Your life with ALS didn’t end until February 2006. Read the rest of this entry »

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