We’re Number One
Even though I’m the oldest of four daughters, destined to be Number One whether I like it or not, I have to confess: I like being Number One! I like being the Boss! At least most of the time.
My husband is the Number Two child in his family. Sometimes he actually wants me to be Number One. Other times, . . . Well, let’s just say he doesn’t want me to be Number One.
If I had to name one area of constant ‘growth opportunities’ (aka conflict) in our marriage, this would be it. Hands down.
It’s complex. My desire to be Number One; His desire not to be Number One; My desire for him to be Number One sometimes. Etc. Usually about decisions. Most often so-called small decisions.
Yes, it’s complex. It’s also simple. Our relationship is Number One. Not that anything goes. It doesn’t. But how important is it? If it’s up there in the top 1% — Go for it! If it’s in the 99% — Is our relationship worth it? Probably not.
Sounds easy, I know. But it seems that’s how it is most of the time. The most difficult thing isn’t figuring out how to “win,” but how to let things go. How to let go of my need to have the last word or change him forever so he’s more like I am.
There’s an award-winning country music song that helps me keep my perspective. It’s honest, upbeat and true-to-life. Every now and then I take out our old, unscratched LP, turn up the volume and belt it out with Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers.
I love the music and lyrics. But I also like the way it doesn’t get into an argument about Who’s Number One. The fact is: We’re Number One! It works for me. Maybe it will work for you or someone you love.
Here are The Gatlin Brothers live, performing We’re Number One.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 12 December 2014