“When I no more can stir. . .”
by Elouise
Late last week I felt like a dry well. Not sure what I wanted to write next for the blog. I decided to see what George MacDonald might have to say to me in his Diary of an Old Soul.
His January 10 and 11 entries grabbed my attention. Here they are, followed by my comments.
When I no more can stir my soul to move,
And life is but the ashes of a fire;
When I can but remember that my heart
Once used to live and love, long and aspire,–
Oh, be thou then the first, the one thou art;
Be thou the calling, before all answering love,
And in me wake hope, fear, boundless desire.I thought that I had lost thee; but, behold!
Thou comest to me from the horizon low,
Across the fields outspread of green and gold—
Fair carpet for thy feet to come and go.
Whence I know not, or how to me thou art come!
Not less my spirit with calm bliss doth glow,
Meeting thee only thus, in nature vague and dumb.George MacDonald, The Diary of an Old Soul, Augsburg Fortress Press 1994. First published as A Book of Strife in the Form of a Diary of an Old Soul, privately published 1880.
Even though I don’t feel like an old soul most of the time, my numbered days keep diminishing. Every now and then, when I think about all life has offered me and how I’ve responded, I feel way beyond weary. Even about the wonderful things.
- MacDonald reminds me that it isn’t up to me to “stir my soul to move.” The one who first called and awakened me to life will once again come calling. As often as needed. I may be lost to myself, but not to the one who first loved me and awakened me to life with all its “hope, fear, boundless desire.”
MacDonald’s image of nature captivates me: a “fair carpet for thy feet to come and go.” Lately I’ve felt a bit deprived because of the weather and the time of year. Winter can be stunningly beautiful. But after a while, the same-old same-old syndrome kicks in and I don’t notice or appreciate as much as I might in the spring, summer or fall.
- Nature invites me to pay attention–always. To be ready, awake, expectant! At any moment God’s feet may be coming and going my way. True, I don’t have “fields outspread of green and gold” outside my kitchen window right now. But that’s no reason to turn a blind eye. Nature reflects God’s glory and faithfulness, though I may not always discern how that can be.
At first I was put off by MacDonald’s description of nature as “vague and dumb.” But ‘dumb’ here means unable to speak in human language, which explains why nature is ‘vague.’ It doesn’t parse things out for me. It just shows up 24/7, doing what it’s meant to do–proclaim the glory of its creator.
- My part is to recognize and respond with “answering love” to God’s comings and goings. They’re everywhere, if I have eyes to see farther than my inability “to stir my soul to move.”
Finally, here’s a question I would like to ask George MacDonald,
but will ask you instead:
Might we also, as God’s handiwork,
become a “fair carpet for thy feet to come and go”–
at least from time to time?
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 14 January 2015
It is when you get as old as I
that you know how much there is to do
You how many wasted day
Have turned into those wasted years.
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Oh my. It’s good to hear from ‘my’ generation. We have so much we hold within our histories, our hearts, our bodies, our spirits and our minds. Worlds of beauty and of pain. Things done and undone. Your words speak truth. Grace. We all thirst for it–sometimes finding it in each other.
Elouise
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Beautifully written. I love this, Elouise. I shall reblog it if you don’t mind. Have a wonderful day!!!
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Oh, Levi. What a wonderful note to see first thing in the morning! Thank you so much.
Elouise
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Reblogged this on Levi's Daily Thoughts and commented:
Elouise has written a beautiful post this morning that is a sweet blessing. Thank you, “young lady”.
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Thank you, Levi, for the reblog, for the kind note, and especially for the ‘young lady’!
Elouise
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My pleasure. Young lady is better than ole girl isnt it? Lol. 😀
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OK. You just scored one!
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Lol. 🙂
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Beautiful post from the fair rose 🌹
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How sweet! Thank you.
Elouise
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Beautiful words and thought. “When I no more can stir my soul to move” applies to me more often than it should, but MacDonald’s words (and yours) give me courage to go on, and help keep my spirits up.
Uncle Waldo
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Thank you, Waldo. I’m so glad you liked the post, and grateful you’re finding “courage to go on.” Big hugs to both of you.
Elouise
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I could speak and preach on this for ever Levi. I was setting at the table this morning talking with Carolyn about ways we hear from God. I told her some examples. One was a head of lettuce I had passed in my garden setting patiently waiting on harvest. God grew from a seed. I seen a line of clouds Sunday morning and the sun had not risen yet but the light behind them illuminated them black and showed there profile. Beautiful and God said to me I will come from the east. I hear and see him in his creation always. Man this was a awesome post glorifying God. Thanks brother.
Much love Tom
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Hi, Tom.
Elouise here! I think you meant for Levi to see this, but you landed on my blog and I’m so happy you did! Thanks for your very earthy examples of the way God becomes known to us in natural things that are all around us. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Please come and visit anytime! You’re always welcome.
Elouise
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Bless your heart I will come visit again Elouise.
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Great! I just got back from a wonderful walk and see you’ve been looking around! Glad to see you again!
Elouise
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God who first called me to life will keep on calling me…I believe that also.
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Thank you for reading and leaving this comment. I’m happy to meet you.
Elouise
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Same here.
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A beautiful post.
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Thank you, Anna. It seems we’re moving back into winter….
Elouise
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