Dear Dad, About those ‘letters’…

by Elouise

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Bearded cacti in Silver Garden
Longwood Gardens PA

Dear Dad,
About those ‘letters’ I mentioned in my last letter (no pun intended!)…

Here they are:  INFJ

I don’t know if you remember, but years ago  on a trip to Savannah I told you, Mom and Sister #4 about being an INFJ.  I also brought along a short version of the test. Do you remember taking it?  You never said anything to me about it, but Mom and Sister #4 seemed to enjoy and appreciate it.

Here’s the short version of what each letter means.  It’s based on information from the people who designed this way of identifying personal preferences or tendencies.  They’re aren’t set in concrete, or mutually exclusive.  They can shift back and forth over time.  In addition, some preferences are stronger than others.

I =  Introverted  (preferred over E = Extraverted)
I tend to focus on the inner world of ideas and impressions.  Extraverts tend to focus on the outer world of people and things.

N = Intuitive  (preferred over S = Sensing)
I tend to focus on the future, looking for patterns and possibilities, rather than focusing on the present and on concrete information gained by my senses (touch, taste, smell, etc.).

F = Feeling (preferred over T = Thinking)
I tend to base my decisions primarily on values and on subjective evaluation of people-centered concerns.  I prefer this over making decisions primarily on logic and on objective analysis of cause and effect.

J = Judging (preferred over P = Perceiving)
I favor a planned, organized approach to life, and prefer to have things settled.  I prefer this over a flexible, spontaneous approach to life, and keeping my options open.

INFJ –
The combination of letters is also significant.  In fact, this is more important than the letters by themselves.  There are 16 ways of putting these 8 letters together.

Most people can look at the options I described above and tell what their 4 letters might be.  Can you pick out your letters?  I think I remember…but that’s for another letter.

The day I found out about being an INFJ, I was so happy that I cried!  I always feared there was something wrong with me.  The punishments when I was growing up didn’t help me feel good about myself.  Yet that didn’t help me understand why I seemed so different from most people I knew and worked with.

Here’s how I think about it.  If I were a flower in a garden that had 16 kinds of flowers grown in all states in the USA, I would be part of a teeny tiny 2 percent!  Furthermore, each of the 16 kinds of flowers has its special beauty and glory.

When the 4 letters come together in a beautiful, like-me INFJ, here’s what it looks like in the garden:

Seeks meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions (such as my little collection of nativity scenes).  Wants to understand what motivates people and is insightful about others.  Conscientious and committed to her firm values.  Develops a clear vision about how best to serve the common good.  Organized and decisive in implementing her vision.

Adapted from a Myers-Briggs (MBTI) handout on preference types and their characteristics

I went home that day and showed my letters to David.  I also showed him the description I just showed you, along with data about how many women and men share my profile.  He blurted out words pretty much like these:  “You mean there are MORE of you???”  We laughed, of course.  Laughter filled with the recognition of truth about the two of us.  I’ll tell you more about that in the next letter.

How do you like the picture I sent?  The bearded cacti are planted close to each other, and they’re all huddling around the heat radiator!  Nice touch, yes?

Love, hugs and thanks for listening,
Elouise

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 27 January 2015
Photo credit, DAFraser, September 2010
Silver Garden at Longwood Gardens, PA