Good Girl goes to Bible College, 1960
by Elouise
It’s September 1960. I’m 16 years old and 150 miles from home. I’ve just arrived for my first year of college. My orientation packet includes a student handbook and a handbook for women only. Am I ready for this? According to the handbooks,
I’m expected to
Submit to those in authority over me.
Keep the rules—all of them.
Have my feet on the floor by the time the 2nd bell, a warning bell,
rings a few minutes after the 1st bell at 6:00am.
Be sitting at my desk, not on my bed,
ready for a half hour quiet time of reading my Bible and praying
when the 3rd bell rings at 6:30am.
Go to breakfast when the 4th bell rings at 7:00.
Have my room ready for inspection and be in my seat
ready for class to begin when the next bell rings at 8:00am.
Live by bells for the beginning and end of everything:
Meals, classes, chapel, dates, required rest on Sunday afternoon,
evening study hours, women’s lights out.
I’m expected to get permission
from the Women’s Dean’s Office to
Ride in cars.
Date during prescribed hours and in permissible places.
Eat in someone else’s home.
Miss any meals in the cafeteria
except Friday evening and Saturday morning.
Announce my engagement.
Spend vacation time with anyone other than my immediate family.
I’m expected to
Sit in assigned seats in all classes and in chapel
so that my attendance can be monitored.
Report to the Women’s Dean’s Office when I’ve used
one of my precious few late nights to study for one hour
beyond the prescribed bedtime for women students, 10:15pm.
Most important of all, I’m expected to be modest.
Wear only skirts and dresses unless I’m in gym class.
Make sure skirts cover my knees completely
and aren’t too tight or provocative on the platform.
Cross my ankles, not my legs, when I’m sitting on the platform.
Wear blouses with sleeves in them
when I’m on the platform
or speaking in public.
Wear a girdle so that nothing jiggles from behind,
and a bra that doesn’t reveal the fact that
my breasts are anything but smooth all over.
Wear stockings every day of the year.
Wear a hat to church as a sign of my submission to the authority of men.
Use makeup moderately and avoid too much jewelry,
so as not to project a come-hither look.
Accept responsibility for ensuring that
the thoughts and desires of men’s hearts are calm and chaste.
Refrain from touching men, including the man I will marry,
and keep men from touching me.
Be charming and friendly with men
without encouraging significant friendships with any men
except those I might marry.
Have significant friendships with women.
Avoid spending too much time with any one woman.
Avoid touching or being touched too much by any one woman.
Abstain from dancing, movies, playing cards and mixed ‘bathing’ aka swimming.
Finally, I am expected to
Accept the spiritual authority of men.
Confine my leadership to offices that don’t suggest
I might be in any way in authority over men.
Understand I may be president of the women’s dormitory council,
but only secretary or treasurer of all other campus organizations.
Know enough about theology to listen intelligently to men
as they discuss theological issues,
but not enough to look like I’m trying to usurp the role of men
as the theologians of the church.
Exercise fully my spiritual authority over other women.
Observe my sisters as a member and president of the women’s dormitory council,
acting as an extension of the ever-watchful eyes of the Dean’s Office.
Confront and report my sisters
if they don’t keep all the dormitory rules.
* * * * *
Despite all this, I was happier in Bible college than I’d ever been in my life. I didn’t gripe about the rules. In fact, I scarcely noticed most of them. With a few minor exceptions I was a Very Good Girl. My parents trained me well.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 2 March 2015
Were you allowed to think for yourself? Even more were allowed to disagree with any of those in authority over you even in the privacy of your own mind?
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Good questions, John. I had at least one professor who didn’t seem to believe any of us (male or female) should think for ourselves in his required classes. I remember one occasion when he dismissed class because someone had asked too many questions. As for the privacy of my own mind, I wish I could say I knew how to ask questions there. But sadly, I didn’t. The strangeness and sometimes absurdity of this approach didn’t begin to hit me until I’d graduated. A ‘questioning spirit’ wasn’t considered at all proper for women; too much of this in a man was also suspect. I quickly identified women and men who seemed to display a ‘rebellious spirit,’ and stayed away from them. Too bad. They might have taught me something useful as well as true.
Elouise
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I was always a good boy and followed the right line. But I have grown old and am now much more radical in my thinking both politically and religiously.
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You’re more interesting, too! I’d love to hear a story about your Good Boy Days.
Elouise
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OK Elouise. I have done as you ask.
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Thanks, John!
Elouise
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You ask and `i shall give. I have just posted a reply.
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I’m off to take a look right now!
Elouise
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This mostly Good Girl went to Bible College in 1990, when it was pretty much the same. There was an emphasis on preparing women for ministry, as long as that meant never having “authority over men.” A debate sometimes arose whether a woman could be senior pastor. Some thought co-pastor was okay, just so long as there was a male “covering” of authority. But actually I enjoyed the Bible learning so much and seeking God in earnest, and I became an egalitarian for men and women in ministry and in marriage at… Bible College. Mary Van Leuwan’s Gender & Grace was significant in that.
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Thanks for this comment. Strangely, my sister Diane graduated from the same college in the early 70s. I don’t know how she did it, but she managed to buck the system gently in her good-humored, practical jokey way and was greatly admired. Humor was her way of coping. She told me once it was a good thing she didn’t meet her future husband until after she’d graduated! We weren’t allowed to debate theological matters or ways of interpreting the Bible. Sadly, Mary Van Leeuwen’s book, Gender & Grace, would have been banned from the library. One of my professors once proposed that library books be coded on their spines, to indicate which might be harmful to students’ faith. Thankfully, his colleagues did not go along with this idea. The campus culture has changed since then, though the role of women remains an issue.
Elouise
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No, where I went was not nearly that repressive, but there were the types of dating rules and a lot of regulation, as you mention. And women had to wear dresses or skirts to knee-length while on the grounds for classes and chapel (daily attendance taken by assigned seats). Pants could be too shapely. This is 1990! Leads to many incongruities between what’s within and without. I want to correct the spelling of Mary’s last name to Van Leeuwen, as I didn’t get to check before the reply flew off. There was a course called Men, Women & Ministry when I was there—its first time being offered! Her book was used for that (it may not have been in the library). I was very fortunate.
But also I had been in a situation with a badly misbehaving pastor before I went to Bible College and I had to ask: “And why is he supposed to be the ‘head’ of me?” It never ceased to amaze me that in that system every man was over every woman. I walked out of a chapel when the person bringing the teaching said that Timothy in the Bible was a wimp b/c he was raised by his grandmother and his mother. Uh, pardon? That is not the testimony of Scripture. It is a sad and sorry state that the role of women remains an issue when the Bible itself supports otherwise in so many ways. IMHO: Until there is parity of gendering in the Godhead (i.e., this eternal life giver is not a male, REALLY, in language or thought, or image or any other such thing), we won’t see spiritual parity in the priesthood of all believers. It is a hypothesis I wish could be widely tested. ~DV
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DV, Thanks for this further comment. I went back and did a quick edit to add Mary’s last name. You’re so correct about “incongruities between what’s within and without.” You were more than ready for Mary’s book! Also, I resonate deeply with your final comments about “parity of gendering in the Godhead.” It’s definitely related to the priesthood of all believers, and also to the way we see deeply into ourselves in our relationships with all creation. I like your phrase “this eternal life giver.” It heightens the incongruity of much God-talk, which seems deeply rooted in male and power-over images. Thanks again for sharing your experiences. Very timely.
Elouise
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Your return comment, as usual, helps me to see more clearly and to understand better. Thank you!!! ~DV
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You’re welcome!!!
Elouise
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This sounds a lot like my present school, except, its still up to you as a person to make decisions, maybe a little. A questioning spirit, i’ve never really had. I tend to accept things as they are or as people of authority put them to be. I’ll rather just disagree in my mind than object outrightly. An episode occurred not too long ago that showed me i had a problem with people who had such a ‘questioning spirit’, as you put it.
Its something i know i should work on, i just haven’t given it so much thought. It isnt healthy, in the end, is it?
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Hi, Demil. Thanks for your comment and question. Sometimes I find it helpful to own my questions in my head, but not forever. I don’t want them to eat my gut out! But I also know that having safe people to talk with about my questions is super important. If you have friends who think the way you do, it can be a great blessing. Especially if it seems there aren’t other safe options. There comes a time when you have to decide these things for yourself anyway (after you leave school). I applaud your ability to question things in your mind. I wasn’t even able to do that. It felt disrespectful. I got over it, though it took awhile to find that safe place to talk and think things through. And it didn’t happen until after I’d graduated.
Elouise
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Thanks Elouise, for the in-depth replies you give. 🙂
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You’re welcome, Demil!
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