Today I broke another rule
by Elouise
Chanticleer Gravel Garden
The rule I broke is simple. If I have one day filled with joy, I’m not entitled to any more days of joy until some unknown later date.
Why is this a rule for me? I’m not sure. It reminds me of childhood.
Back then it seemed (at home and at school) that good, happy, joyous occasions were doled out according to merit. I had to earn a treat. And having had my treat, I needed to work even harder to earn the next treat!
For example: In 5th grade our teacher would treat us to a 5-cent ice cream cup if we did well on our spelling test. Those who didn’t do well could come along to the ice cream store, but they had to pay for their ice cream cups–unless they failed the test.
So back to 2015. Yesterday’s Sabbath made me want more, especially because I didn’t struggle about celebrating it, or feel guilty afterwards. In fact, I’d planned it during the week. Then yesterday, Sunday, I took D with me and spent the afternoon soaking in spring beauty at a garden I love to visit.
Chanticleer isn’t your run-of-the-mill garden. (See photo at the top.) It’s an old family heirloom that now exists for the enjoyment of visitors. Like a museum. In addition, it’s the kind of garden I can only dream of having. And visit only if I’ve been a really good girl? I don’t think so.
Today I got up, ate breakfast, looked outside, and decided I wanted to visit another garden. Actually, an arboretum I’ve enjoyed for years. The Jenkins Arboretum.
Jenkins Arboretum Rhododendron Collection
Did I feel guilty? No. I felt as light as a feather! Especially when I spied a pileated woodpecker on the side of the road as I was driving to the arboretum.
In his book called Sabbath, which I’m still reading, Dan Allender says something like this. When we practice Sabbath, we may begin to notice small Sabbath-like events and moments in our lives during the rest of the week.
I think seeing the pileated woodpecker was a moment of mini-Sabbath delight! So were other moments this morning at the arboretum such as
- hearing a wood thrush singing the entire time I was there
- hearing bull frogs croak, and spotting turtles basking in the water-lily pond
- seeing mountain laurel and varieties of rhododendron in full, brilliant bloom
- feeling the breeze on my face and hearing it move through the trees
- being surprised by a vigilant redwing blackbird that kept trying to shoo me off
So here’s the catch. In order to discover what Sabbath rest is, I have to break an ingrained rule. The rule says I must be productive if I want to earn a guilt-free day of Sabbath rest! I definitely need more practice breaking this rule.
According to the list I picked up today at the Jenkins Arboretum, there are more than 30 gardens within 30 miles of Philadelphia–“more gardens than anywhere else on the continent!” In fact, Philadelphia is known as America’s Garden Capital!
This is most opportune. It seems I’ve been programmed to earn what is actually a free gift available for the taking. Like I said, this is going to need more practice.
Do you have this quirky rule engrained in you?
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 25 May 2015
Photo credit: Chanticleer website, Jenkins Arboretum website, and wickipedia.com flickr photo by Ingrid Taylar
Telling the Truth 
I was going to write a one word reply to your post, ‘I broke a rule today’ – Good!
But I read, and revel in your delightful experiences and I recognise something. All moments of presence exist to remind us of beauty. And, it’s okay if we can’t be present all the time, because if we were, we wouldn’t see the beauty. (We have to have times when we don’t see it, in order to see it.)
Until we can just know always, that we see it all ways, in everything. I believe that is called Nirvana or enlightenment.
All these mini enlightenments bring us closer to the Joy we Feel when we Acknowledge Beauty (In Us and All Around Us). And of course, we can ration that experience if we feel that doing so helps us to appreciate Beauty when we see it.
But rules? Pah! Just do what you want to do, because Freedom is You.
XXXX 😀
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Yes! “All moments of presence exist to remind us of beauty.” And yes, without the other moments….sigh. Finally, a big Yes to Pah! on rules that keep us bound. Thanks, Fran. The one-word reply is also deeply appreciated.
Elouise 🙂
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I’ve been following your experiments with Sabbath with a smile–I read Allender’s book a couple of years ago, and come back to it occasionally. Can’t say I’ve arrived, even after decades of practicing Sabbath, but his understanding of Sabbath as delight-full was a very new idea for me as well.
Currently, I’m working with a group through Mike Breen’s Building a Discipling Culture, and he makes a most interesting observation: God created humankind on the sixth day, and the Sabbath rest followed. Ignoring for a moment the naming of the animals in the Genesis 2 account, sticking with Genesis 1… We were created; then we rested; then we worked. Breen argues that although we tend to think we “rest from work,” God’s order of things was to “work from rest.”
So as I read of your thought that we need work even harder to earn another day of rest or delight once we’ve had one… I just thought how sad that cultural ‘rule’ is. God gives us abundance, and wants us to enjoy it–daily, including but not limited to that one set-aside day each week. And he offers that abundance not as a reward for our work, something we earn… he offers it as sheer gift, because he loves us.
Amazing!!
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Laurie, Thanks so much for this comment. I love Mike Breen’s observation about putting things in the proper order. We do, indeed, work from rest. So yes, it’s strange we’ve turned it on its head and think we’re resting from work! And sad, as you say, that we think we have to earn rest. We have some not-so-subtle ways of reinforcing that outlook. For example, “You’ve really earned that personal day off!”
I’ve also taken note of your comment in the first paragraph. The one about decades of practice and not yet arriving. Which I take to mean you’re looking for ways of getting more practice! 🙂
Elouise
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Hi, Elouise! Like you, I’m a pianist. Well, at least I was trained as a pianist, a lifetime ago (seminary teaching and deaning have pulled me away from music ministry and piano teaching!). We practice, and master certain things, and never quite master others… and if we don’t maintain and expand our practice, we can lose even the skills we’d mastered before! So yes, though I’ve been “practicing Sabbath” for many, many years, I’m always looking to shore up and solidify my practice, as well as to extend my understanding of it–and my delight! Practicing Sabbath as a duty really defeats the whole purpose, doesn’t it? 🙂
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Yes indeed! (practicing Sabbath as a duty….) I’m going for the delight, too. Especially that!
Elouise
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A few weeks ago I saw a pileated woodpecker after maybe more than 10 years. I think I can identify with the delight you felt as you were driving to the arboretum.
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Aren’t they magnificent? For several springs and summers I saw one regularly when I went out walking. But nothing now for at least three years. I was astonished! Especially because it was right there on the side of the road. Hope you’re staying dry this week! Or at least dry enough.
Elouise
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