I’m wide awake | A Dream

by Elouise


Today has been almost as surrealistic as the dream I had just before I woke up this morning.  I’m still unsettled, and have no great insight yet about it. I recorded the dream this morning. Looking back, it seems to mirror my wandering through this strange day of interruptions.

I’m wide awake lost in a maze of hallways
filled with small shops and out-of-sight
merchandise if only I will give up my
determination to find the exit and go home

The young man with me seems happy to
be there smiling at me while dragging
his feet and holding me back with his
nonchalant air of everything’s fine just fine

It is not fine I know it I feel it I keep
looking around seeking for a way out
I know this mall I’ve been here before What
happened to all the old landmarks?

Doors are locked Other doors open up to
new hallways filled with new shops
and female shopkeepers smiling and asking
for my attention and presence Won’t I stay?

I seek help from a woman standing in the
doorway of a small shop She assures me
I’m not lost and will find the exit if I keep going
Her words soothe but fail to help me.

I wake up troubled not anxious yet
eager to know the meaning of this
frustrating  search Lost in a maze of
possibilities that seem to go nowhere.

My state of mind today is about more than today’s interruptions (household appliance dying, construction dust begging to be cleaned up, etc.). It’s about the dream.

I’m wondering what I want to do in the dream. I might want to join that nonchalant young man who seems to be holding me back. He’s pleasant and definitely not in a hurry. I might learn something from him. Would joining him feel like going home? What is home? I wonder. Maybe I’m not really lost, even though I don’t recognize where I am.

And then there’s that woman standing in the doorway of a small shop (hers?). She speaks kindly and seems to understand how I feel, even though I’m not fully satisfied with her response. She seems to be like that young man. Not worried about whether I’ll find the exit right away. Does she know where it is? Perhaps she knows I can find my way now?

Hoping you’re having a wonderful or at least manageable day—despite its ups, downs and unexpected surprises.


© Elouise Renich Fraser, 3 August 2015
Photo from familyvacationcritic.com
Amazing Mirror Maze at Mall of America, Bloomington, Minnesota