old women’s visions
by Elouise
old women’s visions
sigh in abandoned forests
of dreams and regrets
***
Does this sound like a downer? I don’t intend it as a downer. The truth is simple: It took effort, daring, risking and trying on different ‘clothes’ before I began to find myself as God’s beloved daughter-child.
I look back and laugh at some of my attempts to be ‘somebody.’ Sometimes I sigh. The kind of sighing that gets me nowhere because it hides a gazillion ‘if onlys.’ I needed to be found before I could find myself.
Nothing is wasted—even the things I discarded so I could move on. Regrets? Yes, I have them. It took a very long time to get from there to here.
Nonetheless….I’m here. Grateful and happy to look in the mirror each morning and see not visions sighing in an abandoned forest, but the present to which they led me.
Every No is the other side of a Yes. Every discard the other side of a reclamation project. The good shepherd is out there, looking for discards and lost lambs.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 14 January 2016
Haunting photo from emgn.com
Telling the Truth 
Elouise, You are not old yet. Old isn’t defined by our age. It is defined by illness or infirmity that keeps us from traveling, going for a walk in Longwood Gardens, having difficulty in remembering names of people one has known for years and sees regularly. When you visited us a few months ago, I saw a woman in middle age who could do what she wanted, unrestricted by her age in years.
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Aww…Thanks, Waldo! Your comment is lovely. I have to say you have the spirit of a young man in you–it shows in the twinkle in your eye and your love of nature and good food!
Elouise
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