Not Smoke and Mirrors
by Elouise
9:05am, Monday. I wrote this immediately following breakfast today. Trying to capture how I felt and then let my mind and heart go wherever I needed to go.
How am I feeling right now?
Weak
Heart wants attention
Dismal gray outside and in
Solace in silence
Small gestures of kindness
To heart and body
Irritable
Little tasks overwhelm
Impatient with fumbling
Trying to fit empty envelope
Between
Other empty envelopes
On book shelf
H.ungry but not for food
A.ngry at seeming setback this morning
L.onely for family members
T.ired of search for heart health remedies
Smudge snuggles
Between radio and books
Atop radiator cabinet
Limp relaxed
Head hangs down
Seeks rising heat
Paws and pads extended
No cares
No worries
No agenda
Sounds of cars pass
Through my office window
Time to hibernate
Beneath a canopy
Ride this day out
Hidden in places
Known to God
Who will not leave me
Forever without joy
I’ll never understand the connection between mind, body and spirit. I only know it’s there, waiting to be discovered before it flits off, resisting all control. It isn’t smoke and mirrors; it’s reality. A connection mediated by our Creator who sometimes appears as an icy yet strangely protective North Wind.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 15 February 2016
Photo credit: DAFraser, January 2015, a cold and sunny day, unlike today
Telling the Truth 
Just thinking of you today, Elouise, and holding you close.
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Thank you, Beth.
Elouise
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I feel your soul here Elouise. Change in seasons and our bodies often leave a sense of sadness, of powerlessness. I think he cat there has the right idea though. A nap calls me daily with the new meds, and trying to find healthy eating that inspires is the worst aspect of it. I am there with you. Sending peace and blessings too, always, K
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Kim, Thanks for this kind comment. You’re so right about changing seasons (and weather fronts moving in). My to-do lists are now rather short, and always include naps. I never dreamed how wonderful they can be as a regular practice! 🙂 Smudge helps me get with the program….
Elouise
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I feel drawn to your honesty in this prose/poem. I like the way the cat with her languid appearance and care-free attitude is a contrast to your own mood. I can feel your yearning to find peace amid setbacks and relate to that. I needed to be reminded that God can be like a “protective wind” or Spirit, sheltering us always, especially when we feel frail.
I do hope you feel better soon!
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Thank you, apriltulip (love it!) for this lovely comment. What a nice way to put it: God as a “protective wind” or Spirit for our frail humanity. Carrying us along. Thank you so much.
Elouise
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One thing I know – You are allowed to feel down in the dumps and a misery and you don’t have to feel guilty. Sometimes a good old moan does you the world of good. For what it’s worth here’s a “G’day” from down under.
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Oh….I can really use that G’day! Thank you so much, John.
Elouise
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((((xxx)))) ♥
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Thanks, Fran! 🙂
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Smudge is the best medicine–in my opinion. The love of a cat is soothing to the mind. I’m not sure about the body. Warm wishes to you today, Eloise.
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Oh, April! You’re so right. Smudge can be and usually is soothing for me in every way–mind and body. I can feel everything just calming down and getting mellow. Thanks so much for the warm wishes for today. Would you believe the sun is shining and I’m going out to lunch with D?! 🙂
Elouise
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Yay for sunshine! We have it too! Have a nice lunch.
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Isn’t the sun the best? I’m back from a yummy lunch. Couldn’t believe I cleaned my plate! And it’s still sunny with more sun promised tomorrow! Thanks, April. 🙂
Elouise
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