Interrupt and Replace
by Elouise
I woke up this morning feeling down, weary and discouraged. ‘Dis-couraged.’ An interesting word. It means I had courage ‘back there,’ and now I perceive a deficit. How can this be?
If I go back to my childhood and teenage years, I know when dis-couragement happened and why I need to attend to it, lest I lose my voice or become an enabler.
As a young girl I knew when the flames started licking around my legs, weakening my focus and my courage. Back then I persistently carried focus and courage into every punishing situation inflicted upon me. First by my father, and later by men with power to inflict punishment on me as a professional. It’s called bully behavior.
One gift of being a childhood survivor with PTSD is the ability to feel when certain dynamics are in the air. Dynamics neither we nor the person in control are necessarily able to change.
The behavior we’ve seen thus far from our new president is the behavior we’ll most likely see for the next years of his tenure. We already saw it in the presidential election cycle. Nothing has changed except this: the power of the office of President of the United States of America now protects him.
So here I am today, feeling dis-couraged by the events of this past week.
What can I do to change things? I can’t change or replace him. Nor can I change or replace myself.
Back to my father. As a child I was powerless. There was no way I could replace him with a different father. Nor could I interrupt his agenda for me. Especially when he determined I needed to be punished.
I’m an adult now. I’ve done my homework. I’ve learned not just to interrupt and replace the internal voices that mess with me, but the voice of my father talking about himself. He died in 2010.
Now there’s Mr. Trump. I want to interrupt him. The presidency isn’t all about him. Nor is it a platform for bully-talk toward and about others. One painful example will do: his language and behavior toward women who are, apparently, there to serve the desires of his heart.
So how can I do my bit to interrupt Mr. Trump’s monologue and replace it with contrasting voices? Not in debate form, but as a proactive, fearless way to change the conversation, the topic, and the outcomes. The Women’s March is an example of other mass interruptions that changed the topic, the political conversation, and the outcomes.
I want to be part of a movement to interrupt political bully talk and replace it with dialogues that make a difference. I’d love to hear what you’re thinking about. Or how your courage is holding up.
Thanks for listening!
Elouise ♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 30 January 2017
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Replacement
I am sorry you endured such a harsh childhood. I too carry my own pain from my childhood and have had PTSD around it.
My courage is not holding up too well these days. I have a job interview tomorrow, have not worked in years. I am a recent graduate with a Masters in Social Work. It takes courage to go back to school after years out of the work force, it takes courage to apply for jobs, it takes courage to do phone interviews, and it take courage to do in person interviews, and it will take courage to work everyday.
As for Trump, I am trusting God on that one for he is the ruler of all nations and Trump would not have become President if God did not have a plan for our nation. I also have to remember that God loves him too.
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Thanks for your kind comment. I hope things go well for your job search, and that you find you have more courage than you thought you had! 🙂 For me, courage shows up in the moment I need it, not a moment sooner. Not very reassuring, I know. Still, it does show up when I’m willing to exercise it.
As for President Trump, my concerns are about his character and the way he does business. Yes, God loves him too. However, I don’t think that automatically gives him a pass when he abuses power. Good things can and are already coming out of this difficult situation. People are finding their voices and are showing enormous courage in speaking out. Still, bad things are also happening to people who don’t deserve to be treated poorly or without regard for their human rights. In the end, I’m not in charge and neither is Mr. Trump. God is. That’s why I have hope that we’ll survive, though not without scars and difficult times ahead. We have a lot of soul-searching to do as a nation. I pray we can do that.
Elouise 🙂
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I think god’s got his hands full with his own people over in Israel at the moment, and doesn’t have much time for the USA.
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What a world we’re looking at…not very encouraging, though I’m still counting on some of us doing the right thing from time to time. God has made do with less than that in the past. Not that it’s anything to brag about.
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“One painful example will do: his language and behavior toward women who are, apparently, there to serve the desires of his heart.”
His heart? Does he have one, I’d have said the lower regions of his body and his filthy mind; but heart? Are you sure?
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Well….hearts can be desperately wicked….and your point is well taken indeed. 🙁
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I try to stand courageous in my own ways often, figuring one drop won’t fill the ocean, but with a million tiny drops, it will all add up and good things will happen. Got to have hope that if nothing else, people are finally coming “together” over this and that is a good change indeed ❤
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Yes, small drops of courage add up to something, not nothing. Great image. Also, if we can’t get together on what we’re for, perhaps it’s time to get together and clear about what we’re against–one drop at a time. It isn’t about who we’re against, though it’s difficult to leave the person out in this case, but what we’re against and why it matters so much to so many people. Thanks for this comment! 🙂
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Thanks for asking. I’ve been struggling since election night, as I know you have, Elouise. At times I’m at a loss and at times I’m angry and at times I feel I have to take action. I’m all over the place. My parents voted for that man–unbelievably, incomprehensibly. They blame Obama for all their problems. I find it so hard to stay in a healthy place when I talk to them. But, I’m finding my voice in other arenas. For the first time in my life I’m doing more than signing petitions. I’m sending emails and making phone calls. I even went to my representative’s office yesterday and I’m sure I will be back! I’m determined to fight and at the same time I’m afraid of where this guy and his white nationalist friends are taking us. I’m also grateful that I am healthy enough now to get out there and do that fighting!
Blessings, Natalie
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Natalie, Your comment–painful as it is–is just wonderful! First because you’re healthy enough “to get out there and do that fighting” from a computer and phone. Second because you are extremely articulate and an excellent listener! Congratulations for finding something you can do with all your heart. I agree that it’s difficult to “stay in a healthy place” when talking with some folks about what’s happening. All the more reason to have another platform from which to do your part.
Thanks so much for sharing this.
Elouise 🙂
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So much that happens in the USA is in the name of God and country. I am trying to figure out how to organize a scripture study on the theme of “hospitality for the alien.” My sense is that most don’t know what the Bible teaches.
My mom has said to me many times “God is in charge” and yesterday I finally pushed back and said that God may have allowed this, but I don’t believe that God directed this presidential outcome. We both agreed that God is at work in this, but sometimes all I hear are falling tears.
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Great theme for a scripture study. It’s a major theme in Hebrew and Christian scriptures–with Jesus as the strangest stranger/alien of all, whom we are to welcome into our lives. Sounds like an interesting conversation with your Mom. Your theological instincts are alive and well! And yes, the tears aren’t going to stop falling.
Elouise
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