Awareness of pain
by Elouise
Awareness of pain
Life-shaping yet elusive
Lodges deep
In bones and sinews
Erupts without warning
Bleeding over pages
Of my life
Softening my heart
Longing for tenderness
Squandered in the past
Foolishly given away
To dull my pain
***
I don’t live in this awareness every day. I wouldn’t survive if I did. I’m grateful for God’s grace every day of my life. Still, moments of grief arrive, often taking me by storm. They don’t destroy me. Instead, they soften and connect me not just to my pain, but to that of others.
I used to think these waves of emotional and spiritual pain would fade. They haven’t. In fact, the more willing I am to live with grief, the more I find myself grieving and growing.
This past week I listened to Beethoven’s Sonata 8 (“Pathetique) and found myself right where this poem is. In the middle of a teary eruption. The kind that fosters life, not death, when I’m willing to live through it.
You can listen to a brilliant performance by Daniel Barenboim here.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 11 February 2017
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Aware
Telling the Truth 
Always beauty erupts from these moments of yours Elouise, where we can read and relate and say yep, I know where you were within as you wrote this, felt this. Peace, love and hello to Lucy love ❤
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Thanks, Kim. It isn’t for nothing (the pain), even though it sometimes feels like it. Insulating myself from my own pain damages not just me but the people I most love. It’s like a malady that never gets acknowledged, much less cared for–tenderly. We seem to have an overabundance of pain in our nation just now, and an undersupply of people willing and able to stop talking and start listening. I hope I’m wrong about that. Maybe the listeners have gone undercover and silent because they’re listening before talking. Wouldn’t that be something? 🙂
Elouise
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undercover and silent would be good, observationalists like crows in the trees….. 🙂
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Thank you.
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You’re welcome.
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Daniel Barenboim; my favourite Jew. Ever!
The Maestro Humanitarian and musician.
One of the greatest men of the 20th and 21st centuries and not just for his music!
All the awards and distinctions heaped upon him are barely enough!
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Plus a good man and a magician on the keyboard! Brilliant….🎵
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Better than good, without equal, except perhaps for the piano, I always toss up between Maestro Barenboim & Vladimir Ashkenazy.
Back in the late 1960’s might have beeen very early 70’s but I think the 60’s, I had to choose between my job ( I was working in the country), and Vladimir Ashkenazy who was playing one concert in Perth.
It was a great concert!
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Outstanding choice! What a privilege. They’re both magnificent. They perform from their souls. I used to play Beethoven’s Pathetique. Always reduced me to tears. That was back in the 70s when I was in seminary. Can’t help thinking about your hearing–and Beethoven’s. 🙁
Time to call it a day over here! 💤
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Good night Elouise
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You forgot Smetana
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🙂 Thank you kindly, Brian.
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Sting’s “They Dance Alone” will catch me at times. But I tend to find sorrow and grief streaming down my face when watching movies, I cry easily. Nowadays news stories will catch me as well. Thank you for the beautiful poem.
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You’re welcome, David. Tears are so good. Thanks for your comment.
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