a pretty sure life
by Elouise
The rights and responsibilities
Of a pretty sure life
Hang weightless around her neck
She glides fairly easily
From one scene into the next
Wearing privilege on her skin
Without effort she blends in
Sometimes anxious but rarely for her life
Mature, sweet and polite she passes easily
A charming married woman with children
She meets the gold standard
Against which womanhood is weighed
No need to check her credentials
Her language or demeanor
No need to run a background check
She’s one of us
Sometimes unruly and annoying
Yet harmless
Because her heart beats white
I’ve been the beneficiary of many opportunities. Not strictly because of who I am, but because I’m a white woman. And because I’m not a rabble-rouser or revolutionary. I’m just a steady, dependable, meticulous, relationally gifted white woman who gets along with just about everyone. What more is there?
I don’t regret the opportunity to be part of an academic faculty and administration. I do, however, regret how oblivious I was to my white privilege even though I was part of an unusually diverse community of students, staff and faculty. Only with the Rodney King event and its aftermath at our seminary did I begin to scratch the surface of my white privilege.
I’m reminded daily of how easily our country ignores, suppresses and tries to bury our history. Mr. Trump has made visible what’s been there all along. No secrets here. Just inconvenient truth, and an opportunity to seize the moment.
My heart beats white. I’m still unpacking what this means for me.
Thanks for listening!
Elouise ♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 23 August 2017
Response to WordPress Daily Prompt: Visceral
a very deep post here and a most excellent piece of poetry to ponder ❤ I had very few African-American students at my school growing up and was blessed to get a job in Washington DC in 85 for the summer, my, what an abundance of every soul under the sun. I mixed in like a lemon mixes with sugar and water. Made good friends and opened my heart to the world ❤ life changing gift it was indeed. I am like you, love everyone and am never afraid to share the gift of goodness and belonging to all ❤
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What a great opportunity! The ability to connect with strangers from other backgrounds is critical, especially when it allows us to listen, learn, and take steps to change. I can picture you thriving in a multi-cultural setting such as DC in 1985. It seems I begin hitting pay dirt when I learn from others (affected by it) about my unrecognized privilege, and the way this affects them. It takes uncommon effort and trust on both sides. Even so, there are always more layers to this onion. The hardest part is getting started. In some ways, I think I’ll always be a beginner at this. Thanks for your good comments and sharing. And for your big heart 🙂
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❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ I think yours is bigger than mine…or at least stronger with a little help from your friend Super L ❤
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You’re too kind, and Lucy is Super Happy to be loved by you! 🙂
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You are all loved, please never forget that💜💕💜
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very important unpacking for us all, Elouise. SO necessary. Love to you and D.
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You’re so welcome, Nancy. Thanks for the love!
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Most profound. I’m unsure how it must feel, to be getting these extra strong feelings late in life,you are certainly sounding disturbed by them.
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I’m one of many who are disturbed by the lead-up and after-math to the last presidential election. As you know, I belong to the generation born near the end of World War II. Having a tongue-loose and seemingly trigger-happy person in the WH doesn’t set my mind at ease or, in my opinion, make for healthy international relations–much less cooperative national dialogue. We are, in miles, a very large country. Nonetheless, we are a country now disunited in ways I’ve never experienced. Not even the crazy lead-up and aftermath of the Vietnam War era felt like this. I don’t feel desperate. I am, however, determined to do my bit as a citizen, mother, grandmother, friend and stranger to change what I can, and accept the things I cannot change. Not even the prospect of upcoming elections makes this an easy time. So my focus is on what I can change right now–myself. In particular, my ignorance about and collusion in white privilege that has contributed in large part to the sorry mess we have right now.
I hope this helps. I’m sane, strong, clear about myself, and hopeful that I can make a difference, if only for the people closest to me or connected with me in some other way.
Thanks for the comment, Brian. I’m grateful for many things today, including you!
Elouise
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Thank you Elouise.
I am a child of the 30’s and am one of an ever declining group of those who lived throughout a world war and the devastation not only to the buildings but to the lives of many who lost friends and family killed by bombs dropped unfeelingly upon them. I did write a post or two on this many moons ago.
Clowns like POTUS (I refuse to name him just as I refuse to name that group of terrorists who are wreaking havoc. To name them is to recognize and give them credibility something the media should learn and understand) have absolutely no idea what a real out and out war is.
I’m fortunate. I do.
You and your generation do have a great feeling for what war is all about having been reared by those who have lived it. The present generation have not an inkling.
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Sadly, I think you’re correct regarding many in the present generation. War wreaks havoc for generations to come. If you send me a link to your posts about the devastation of world war, I’d love to read them. Thanks, Brian.
Elouise
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I said growing I meant declining 😦
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No problem. I just did a quick edit on your behalf! 🙂
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Thank you Elouise.
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You’re always welcome, Brian!
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This is one I found of a wartime experience.
https://lordbeariofbow.wordpress.com/2016/03/01/and-now-on-a-lighter-note/?preview_id=4023&preview_nonce=711f5659fa&_thumbnail_id=-1&preview=true
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and another link with a picture of me aged 14 or 15 + sister and dog 🙂
https://lordbeariofbow.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2135&action=edit
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ooops that was the wrong link this is the link
https://lordbeariofbow.wordpress.com/2014/09/08/the-doodlebug-the-baby/?preview_id=2135&preview_nonce=31b5009961&_thumbnail_id=-1&preview=true
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Elouise , I am with Brian on this. I wonder if in the end, the Trump phenomenon will bring about a change in the American divide.
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Hi Bushie! Thanks for the comment. I just left Brian a response. I do think the divide in the USA just now is deep and dangerous. I also see a few signs of growing disillusionment or at least confusion among Trump supporters. It would be welcome, especially if it leads to productive collaboration at the highest levels of government both nationally and state-wide.
I’m distressed that so many apparently right-wing evangelical churches have continued to support POTUS and now regard him as the voice of God, or at least God’s chosen agent.
As for what will happen today, it’s anyone’s guess. Except for my own list of things to do that will, hopefully, keep me on track.
Elouise
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