Hope and despair
Between beats of my heart
‘Retirement is like that’
I could but won’t say –
Determined to make
Peace with what is
Beyond and within
If not This
Why not That?
My mind spins
Out of orbit as
Early Spring lures
Me beyond myself
Retirement was about more than leaving my job at the seminary. It was about my health and well-being. I desperately needed to make a clean break.
For several years I was fine. Not being there was more than good for me.
Now it isn’t so good. Don’t get me wrong. I have no desire to relive seminary politics, long-term planning or endless reports.
Nonetheless, I sometimes yearn to ‘be there.’ From 1983 until I retired in 2011, our seminary dished up a lively, sometimes contentious community of international and national students, mixed races and classes, and mixed church communities. I owe students and colleagues a huge debt of gratitude for helping grow me up into the woman I am today.
So why this yearning now? I love the church I attend. It can’t, however, give me the kind of community I experienced at the seminary, and still need.
Here’s the deal: I want to hang out at the seminary with anyone who shows up. Why? So I can practice being a stranger and welcoming strangers or near-strangers into my life. Even for a few fleeting minutes.
Maybe it’s nothing but Spring madness. Still, I like the idea and I’m already plotting ways to try this out.
©Elouise Renich Fraser, 25 March 2019
Early Spring Photo found at Gardenia.net