When is enough enough?
by Elouise
This isn’t my favorite topic these days. Particularly after my latest visit to my heart doctor, just two days before my 76th birthday.
I’m several years older than I was when I first found out about my heart condition. In addition, I now have chronic kidney disease—though not advanced CKD.
I also have other health issues that could go south. Though I might be able to manage some of them, I can’t predict how or when they’ll collide with one another to send me downhill fast. Some are already colliding.
This isn’t news. It’s happened for years to others. Nonetheless, though I don’t feel singled out, I do feel alone. Especially when it comes to important medical decisions.
Back to my heart (which also impacts my kidneys). As I see it, I have two choices:
- Do what my doctor has been talking about for more than the last three years. Start taking a blood thinner, or try a work-around that would have a similar benefit. Would this guarantee a stroke-free life? No. Would it lower my risk of stroke? Perhaps. It would not guarantee that I would not have a brain bleed.
- Alternatively, as the woman who will live with this choice, I can say No. Enough is enough. I’m willing to live with the consequences even though they may not be pretty.
This isn’t because I like to gamble, but because nothing anyone does is going to extend my life forever.
Growing older is no picnic in the park. In fact, I can’t remember when I last was able to picnic in the park! My waking hours are consumed by taking care of my body, soul and spirit. Doing what I can to enjoy the time I have left.
Breaking my jaw several years ago changed everything. So did finding out decades earlier that I had IBS. Whatever eating is about, I often find myself on the margins looking in.
Nonetheless, I’m grateful my current Vitamix diet is good for my heart, my kidneys, and IBS. It also helps me eat food I can’t easily chew. In addition, I’m grateful for an outstanding integrative doctor who sees the big picture, and helps me maintain key markers for health.
As I see it, the only guarantee is that one day I will die. Given my age, it will be sooner, not later. I don’t want to muddle my life with exploratory options.
That’s how I’m seeing it today. I’m also grateful to be here today, able to enjoy family, friends, neighbors and strangers. Life is still very good indeed.
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 23 November 2019
Quotation found at twitter.com
Telling the Truth 
Just listened to Hidden Brain. You can easily find the podcast. It was about one woman’s changing perspective when she became ill withe ALS. You might appreciate it. I appreciate what you are saying. Many of the folks I visit tell me not to get old. But a realistic notion that we will take our turn is essential.
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Thanks Penny. I appreciate your comment, and will check out the podcast. I think often about Diane these days, and her experience of ALS. Especially her clear assessment of when enough was enough, and she opted for comfort care.
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❤ and (((HUGS))) and continued prayers for you Elouise.
None of us are promised tomorrow…so we live today as fully as we are able. 🙂
More (((HUGS)))
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Thanks Carolyn. 😊💜💕
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If you could pretend that tomorrow as the last of your days, wouldn’t you have to be grateful for today!!! My recent experience with prostate cancer has made me sit up and look at my life. My doctor said I oughta have another ten years. When I asked him how much he was prepared to wager he said he wasn’t a betting man.
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Oh John, I’m sorry to hear you have prostate cancer. I’ve had a number of very close friends who’ve had it, and chose differing ways of dealing with it. Some died from it. Others are still living with it. There isn’t an easy answer. Yes, today or tomorrow could indeed be the last day of my life. I think about it nearly every day. Like you, I want to enjoy what I have–not keep searching (in my case) for answers that may or may not be helpful. Did you write about your diagnosis? If so, I’d love to have the short link. I don’t get around as much as I used to….though I love being able to visit from time to time.
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Thank you Elouise. I did mention in my post that there are four stages and that I am in the very earliest of stage one, so I think I’m going to be pretty lucky.
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On this chilly, yet sun-kissed November Monday, I just read your musings on “enough.” Thank you, Elouise, for that, and for our front-pew chat yesterday – an unexpected gift! I got to the rink this morning to skate – only the second time since late May – and was grateful. I’m aiming at tomorrow, too! Small joys help to counterbalance some of the more challenging aspects of life…an icy version of Longwood, perhaps!
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I love your “icy version of Longwood”! And I loved our unexpected front-pew chat. It was like a little feast with big nutritional value. We’ve been through a lot–you and I and our colleagues and students at the seminary. We’ve also watched a host of classy people going out and doing what needs to be done in this tired old world. Now I’m tearing up again. A good sign most of the time! 🙂
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🙂
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