weak as water
by Elouise
weak as water
the old woman bends
bowing to the floor
intent on finding
her lost coin
so quickly ages
drift just beyond sight
daring us to recall
or recoil from truth
about the past
Two sides warring with each other. Wanting to know and not wanting to know. Looking and looking away. Betrothed to truth and living in half-truth which is falsehood.
I don’t know any other way to describe what’s happening in me as I work through An American Lament. Yes I knew and I didn’t know about the history of slavery and racism in this country. Yes I want to know more, and please clear the table now. I’ve had enough.
Do I regret beginning this journey? No. Yet the internal duel shines a spotlight on what’s at stake, and challenges me. Not as a reader or leader, but as a white follower of Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus, a Jew, son of Mary and Joseph, on his way to die as a criminal would die.
Is this really what I want (with all my heart) to do with my one precious life?
Prayers for wisdom, courage and grace in these troubled times,
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 10 August 2020
Image found at freebibleimages.org
Telling the Truth 
‘Prayers for wisdom, courage and grace in these troubled times’
Amen, Elouise.
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Thank you, Don. 🙏🏻
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Yes, I can relate.
Yes, on prayers for wisdom, courage and grace…
(((HUGS)))
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Thanks, Carolyn. 💜
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Very well said Elouise. And I still can find little change in the attitude of the far right’ here as well as in your country.
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Thanks, John. This fierce tug of war about the past (who’s Really a citizen? Really an American? etc.) seems to be ramping up. I pray it doesn’t swamp nation-wide efforts by people of good will who are more than ready to face up to our past. It isn’t easy. And there’s no promise of nationwide success. My best guess is that states will step up and do what’s right (insofar as they have power to do that), provided there’s enough citizen support. No matter who our next President is, I don’t think change will come easily. We may say we want it, but are we willing to live with the consequences? I think of Australia as one of the countries that might ‘get it’ in ways some others don’t or won’t. We cheat others and we cheat ourselves when we refuse to face into harsh truth and the sad consequences of our national obsession with whiteness.
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Don’t be misled Elouise. Australia has a lot to be concerned with as well.
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“…please clear the table now. I’ve had enough.” This so accurately describes the state I am often in these days. Reminding myself that people of color don’t have the luxury of doing so occasionally motivates me to persevere in learning, but I mostly surrender to my fatigue and turn my mind off.
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Thanks for this, Marilyn! You say it so well. With something this big and this embedded in our nation, it will take a huge, long, difficult effort to achieve movement in the direction of change. Not just within ourselves, but in neighborhoods, churches, businesses, education, and (especially) government (state, local, national, etc.).
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We bring our scraps of fish and bread, our mustard seeds, our “pa rum pum pum pum” and simply offer them. Then we follow in wonder.
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Indeed. Most days I have more scraps and fewer mustard seeds than I’d like! 🙂 Thanks, dw.
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