What it looks like to be brave
by Elouise
This is my first attempt to clarify what it looks like for me to be brave today.
Being brave means
- Not second-guessing myself or my language.
- Not wondering whether people will like or believe what I say or write.
Given my age and health, bravery is chiefly about spoken and written speech.
- How willing am I to be blunt, no matter who is listening/reading?
- How willing am I to become a learner, not just by reading books, but by listening to what others say about me as a white citizen of the USA?
Signs I’m being brave:
- Giving up
morerules for good white girls and women, enforced directly and indirectly since the day I was born - Engaging in conversation or not, as I choose
- Taking care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually
- Speaking my mind and engaging in conversations that matter
- Feeling both clear and out of control
Being brave isn’t measured by
- What my father would say or think
- What my church friends, pastor, or former colleagues and students would say or think
- What my readers think about what I write
So what’s at stake?
- It isn’t whether we can get along.
- It’s whether white citizens of the USA are willing to look into our long history of racism without making excuses or trying to explain things away.
- It’s also whether churches and religious institutions will take racism seriously, no matter whether they supported it directly or indirectly.
It’s also about
- What I do or write in response to what I’m learning and seeing daily.
- Being clear about what I need to hear about from the pulpit regarding racism.
In the final analysis, the goal isn’t to change other people. It’s to change me.
Thanks for visiting, reading, and commenting if you’d like!
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 20 October 2020
Quotation found at pinterest.com
Telling the Truth 
Good rules, Elouise.
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Thank you, Don. Now All I have to do is deliver!
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You know what, Elouise? Donald Trump has had a very positive effect on you. When I started reading your posts you were a relatively quiet good southern Christian lady. Now look at you. Strong and tough and willing to hold your own opinion. I hope this doesn’t sound condescending, but I am immensely impressed of late. I spent most of my life not saying what I thought or how I felt because I didn’t want to offend anyone and it got me know where. Divorce and low wages and I never got the promotions I deserved because I wasn’t pushy enough to tell the boss that the person he just promoted was going to do harm to the place.
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Thank you, John, for your kind words. I relate to some of your history–especially the part about not wanting to offend anyone. The truth is, no matter how hard I tried, I always seemed to offend someone. Especially men who thought they were powerful. It always bothered me–I wanted to be liked. I thought that would help me get ahead in the world of academia. It didn’t. By the time I woke up to this, I was exhausted and my health was going downhill. Even though I look back and am immensely grateful for what I was able to do, I’d still say I wasn’t that brave. I was smart, and knew how to work with people. But brave? Not really. Not the kind that’s needed today. It’s weird. I feel like a beginner, even though I know I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t gone through the agony of growing up ‘good’ instead of brave. So maybe I do have DT to thank…just a tiny bit? Yikes!
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Excellent, Elouise! And you are such a good example to so many of us! Thank you!
Your final analysis is right on! We must all focus on changing ourselves where changes need to be made. We can’t change others, but we can change how we deal with them. 🙂
HUGS!!! 🙂
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Thank you, dear Carolyn! I’m up for all the HUGS I can get. Thanks for being so generous with your own. I pray your day is filled with joy, no matter what comes your way! 🙂
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