Yesterday’s sorrows
by Elouise
A chain of prayer
Rises in midnight hours
As restless sleepers
Wake to the sound
Of yesterday’s sorrows
Rising to the surface
Perhaps one’s own trials
Or a loved one’s emergency
Or dense silence inviting
A song or a prayer to
Fill the empty void of night
Broken only by the wind
Since the beginning of Covid-19 social distancing, I sometimes find night silence distressing.
It happened again last night. Not just because of what’s going on out there, but also what’s rising to the surface in me. Sadness, sorrow, and trepidation. Names of family members who tested positive for Covid-19, now in quarantine because of contact with someone else. An urgent request for prayer from a former colleague. Or even a welcome email from a former student now living in another country, without many options.
One of the gifts of this painfully long social distancing has been a measure of quiet in the house. At night, however, silence weighs heavily when I want to get back to sleep. Hopefully unheard by D, I sometimes begin singing (very softly) favorite hymns as they pop into my mind. Not just one verse, but as many as I can recall. Think of an extended lullaby.
Other times I go down my mental list of friends and family members having more challenges than usual just now. Then I whisper (often with tears) my gratitude for D, for Smudge, for our neighbors, and for opportunities to support local and worldwide relief efforts.
Somewhere in the middle of all that it usually happens. I drift off to sleep. If I don’t, I go to my office, close the door, open my journal, and write my heart out. Thankfully, this last resort is rare. Still, it works like a charm. The tears flow freely, and then I’m back to bed and sleep.
I pray each of you finds ways to sleep well, and exercise your faith and gratitude during these strange months of Covid-19 et al, already extending into another year. Happy Wednesday!
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 6 January 2021
Image found at pinterest.com
Telling the Truth 
My heart is with you.
Marilyn
Get Outlook for Android
________________________________
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Marilyn.
Yesterday’s sorrows in Washington DC have now gone viral. I hope we study the ironies between the way this almost 100% white attack on Congress played out, and the brutal way many protests and prayer vigils about police-related deaths of Black citizens were treated in the last several years. In the meantime, yesterday’s sorrows still weigh heavy. Especially as we move into the next unknown phase of the pandemic and our economy.
LikeLike
We are using a baby monitor since Carol is up every 2 to 3 hours for bedside commode. It has been during the night journeys that her falls have always occurred. The monitor both visual and audio works well however it is not a solution for much needed sleep both for her and I. Sometimes reading a chapter of a good book or a cup of warm tea and milk or a hot shower calms the body enough for another 2 hours of sleep. But the morning routine of commode cleaning bed linen laundry trash removal and breakfast prep plus dog walking begins usually at 530AM. We are losing 2 to 3 neighbors or church connections a week due to Covid and had two near misses with family members with 3rd being tested tomorrow, eldest grandaughter college sophomore. Then along comes Electoral College Day and the news comes fast and furious with most knowing, except the Capitol Security Detail, that something bad is about to happen. Prayers become that it is all a child like dream that will go away tomorrow. How naive I must be. Hope you don’t mind this rambling.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear David,
I never get tired of hearing from you. And even though the news about Carol isn’t great, I’m grateful to have it. I think the pandemic has made everything at least twice as difficult as it might have been. On top of which we have a President refusing to be our President. Not that this is new. But it does ramp up the anxiety of a nation already reeling from his total disregard for reality. Sometimes a really horrible episode (like last night’s horrendous attack on Congress) can lead to something beneficial, though it’s difficult to see how that will happen quickly. So yes, we still have to face our todays and tomorrows, and pray for a measure of sanity in the White House and in our states during the next four years. January 20 won’t come quickly enough.
Your routine, and regular deaths in your circle of friends and neighbors must be incredibly draining for you. I pray you and Carol will find small ways to connect with each other and with your shared memories. It must be incredibly lonely and difficult for both of you. Thanks so much for your rambling update. I loved it, and will be praying for the two of you during this bleak mid-winter.
LikeLike
Elouise, grace and peace to you and your quiet, courageous soul.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, dw. These are trying days, indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person