Life shrinks daily | Lent 2021
by Elouise
Is it not enough
That I have survived?
That You have never
Turned away from me?
Life shrinks daily
A wrenching letting go
Of many things
Masks and pandemic protocols
Shroud me in a deathlike dream
From which I cannot wake
Before the next stanza
Takes me down
The sun is out today, though the air is still below freezing. White mounds of snow look like small mountain tops invading the back yard. The birds are basking in chilly sun, taking their turns at the birdfeeder.
I sit in my kitchen, an onlooker to life, wondering how and when things went sour.
Then again, this is the first Sunday in Lent. My heart tells me it’s time review what I’m giving up yet again for Lent. No, it hasn’t gotten any easier to say this prayer. Especially the last line.
I let go my desire for security and survival.
I let go my desire for esteem and affection.
I let go my desire for power and control.
I let go my desire to change the situation.Quoted by Cynthia Bourgeault in Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, p. 147 (Cowley Publications 2004)
I wonder what Jesus of Nazareth felt and thought as he approached his coming death?
Praying for an accepting heart and a grateful spirit.
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 21 February 2021
Image found on Facebook via Google search
Telling the Truth 
I think Jesus was “giving up” those very same things…so that means, it seems to me, He is with you (and me) as we learn to trust in God’s love and goodness, and let go – like a trapeze flyer – and wait for the strong hands of the Eternal Catcher to “pluck us from mid-air” (I’m reading Henri Nouwen’s Sabbatical Journey journal (his last book)…this idea is currently capturing me, and it sounds like you’re in a similar place. So, I too, am “with you”.
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Hi, Nancy.
Thanks for this great comment! I’m using yet again Nouwen’s Show Me the Way. Yes, we’re in the same place, and I’m going to check out the book you mention. I love the trapeze flyer example. Not my cup of tea, though. 😊
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A powerful post, Elouise…your poem, your thoughts, the prayer.
I think when Jesus walked the earth His human-side felt all the same feelings we feel. But He felt completely loved by His Father, trusted His Father completely, so He was able to do what He had to do…even THE most difficult things. 🙂 When we are loved, have someone we can trust, we can endure when the difficult things hit us. 🙂 Easier said than done, I know…But since I DO trust Jesus I try to let go/give everything to Him…and let Him take care of everything else. 🙂
(((HUGS))) 🙂
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Thank you, Carolyn. As much as I sometimes wish it weren’t so, your comment about it being easier said than done is true to human nature. All we can do is practice, practice, and practice some more. Having it in my heart and mind as a goal doesn’t make it any easier. It does, however, remind me that I’m not in charge. And, thankfully, neither is any other human being even though she or he can make things unbearably difficult. 🙂
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I always smile when I hear people talk about “being in charge” or “being in control” of someone or something…I think, “Gosh I can rarely be in charge of myself!” 😉 😀 HA! 😛
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So true! 😻💜💕
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What a prayer! I want to be able to pray it and mean it but I can only mean some of it.
Missing you!
Marilyn
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I know exactly what you mean. It’s probably the most difficult prayer I’ve ever had to deal with.
Missing you, too!
Elouise
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