I want to go back
by Elouise
They say memories are
what really matter
But I want to go back
to classrooms shaped by
women and men from afar
Places I’ve never visited
How narrow we’ve become today
in our virtually segregated schools and
neighborhoods overflowing
with unfamiliar cuisines or clothes
and customs that give us away as strangers
not friends or even neighbors
Years of serving seminarians in
multinational multiethnic classrooms
turned my small world upside down
You helped make me the woman
I now am sitting here at home
wishing for just one more class
So you can show up and teach me
What I need to know today
Before it’s too late to dream
I’m feeling a bit nostalgic these days. Also heavy-hearted about what we’re becoming as a nation. It seems curiosity about the world and about people who don’t look, act or vote the way we do isn’t as interesting as it used to be. In fact, it seems easier to ignore each other. Look the other way.
When I was still teaching at seminary, diversity made everything more exciting. Granted, it wasn’t always easy for any of us.
Nonetheless, it opened up opportunities to re-examine our assumptions and broaden our knowledge. Not just about the subject matter, but about the way we dealt with each other.
Are we losing touch with our humanity? Is that possible?
I don’t want to be a robot, or a puppet on strings controlled by other human beings. Or by the ups and downs of the stock market, or the latest headlines in scandal magazines. Nor do I want to be locked into my own small world because of fear or unexamined assumptions.
This morning I received my second Covid-19 shot. The room was filled with people who didn’t look or act like me. I wonder. Would they be interested in an informal discussion group? There’s so much I wish I understood better…..
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 1 March 2021
Image found at ceu.edu
Telling the Truth 
Thanks Elouise diversity is not always easy but it always makes life richer. Thanks for this reminder
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Thank you, Marsha! I couldn’t help thinking about you as I wrote this. It’s never easy, and sometimes rewarding. Especially with trusted colleagues like you. Praying all is well….💜💕
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I have reached the conclusion that what we are going through right now is the inevitable reaction to the realization that the white majority is fading quickly into a plurality and may be reaching minority status within the century. Have people ever lost their power without fighting to defend/keep it? Jesus did! I will follow Him. And do as He did, advocate for the poor and oppressed. But I won’t be surprised when people act like sinners. It is why He came among us after all!
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Hi, Dan. Thanks for your thought-provoking comment about the fading white majority. Fear is a powerful motivator. How have you come to terms with our current dis-union (as a pastor)?
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I have always embraced the idea of soul freedom and made my peace with the idea that people reach far different conclusions than I do about what God wills for their lives and others. I may vehemently disagree with them but I try not to let it disturb my soul. Plant seeds and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit… That is how I sleep at night I suppose. Certainly I am mystified at times by how people who lay claim to following Jesus can treat other followers of His with such careless – even reckless – disregard. I imagine it breaks God’s heart as well.
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Hi again, Dan.
Thanks for your response. Yes, each person is entitled to (and responsible for) his or her conclusions.
I find, however, that people often build their conclusions on rather flimsy ground, without much consideration of what it means to follow Jesus (as opposed to following public figures, for example). I like your comment about planting seeds. How do you go about planting those seeds? I don’t think this means you must talk about your own conclusions. However, you might (perhaps you do?) talk about how difficult it is these days to live as a faithful follower of Jesus.
I also wonder whether there’s safe space in your church for group conversations about our current discontent and what it means for white people. Also, do you have a safe place to talk with other pastors about how they’re managing all this upheaval? I must confess I’m grateful I’m not a pastor in these troubled times. Your last line (about God’s heart) underscores the tragedy of today’s confusion. Thanks again for your response.
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I find it possible to plant seeds by having spiritual conversations with people both in person and on social media, by offering genuine dialogue rather than playing keyboard warrior as so often occurs. Frequently I try to humanize the conversations by telling people something about the individual they are disagreeing with so they know that person is more than the sum of their ideology. And I refuse to get dragged into the heat of a conversation when light is what is needed.
I find a safe space for my own personal reflection in 2 different “Leadership Learning Communities” in my Baptist Association. They are made of fellow clergy members that I have grown to trust
I am blessed to serve a church currently that is significantly diverse racially and which has a vibrant group of young adults. They are anchored by young men and women who grew up in our youth group and the net has spread to their friends. A woman, who is very much a “mother figure” to them and led their youth group continues to shepherd them. She loves them unconditionally and they are able to have frank and open conversations on pretty much everything. Most of them do not have that kind of relationship with their own parents. They are a challenge and they keep me on my toes.
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Thank you, Dan! 🙏🏻 I’m grateful you took time to describe the way you’re dealing with a number of realities. I only wish I could be a fly on the wall!
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I think it would be wonderful if those you saw could form an informal discussion group iwht you…Zoom it, maybe?
Sharing personal stories, experiences…gathering together to talk with “rules” of being respectful, taking turns, listening to the others, asking questions, etc., can bring about learning, understanding, and even positive change(s). 🙂
I’m so glad you got your second shot!!! 🙂
(((HUGS)))
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Hi, Carolyn! Although I’m NOT a good Zoom candidate, I think conversations about then and now are super important. Things have changed radically in the last several years. Sadly, we seem more in the mode of maintaining (or tolerating) white supremacy, than working to embody a more ‘perfect union’ that sees, serves and honors all of us as human beings.
As for my second Covid shot, I’m greatly relieved! Both of us are now covered, and I’m must consider some long-overdue visits. Top of the list: a proper haircut! 🙂
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About nostalgia…hmmm. I recall your class on Evangelical Theology. I believe it was 1997 or ’98. It was the class that introduced me to the inner contradictions of American evangelicalism. The documentary about First Baptist Church Dallas shocked me. I was horrified. You took a look at me and canceled the rest of the class session so you could talk to me in your office (by the way I am STILL grateful for that moment. My students over the years should thank you because that singular moment helped to shape my own sensitivity towards individual student need and formation). My point here is…how comes I am looking back at that period of latency as “the good old days?” Sad!
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Hi, Emmanuel!
That was some documentary, wasn’t it?
A resounding Yes to your point about ‘the good old days’ being in the past. Today it feels as though the wind is being taken out of us as a nation. I know it’s been building up for centuries. Still, when one person controls the breathing of his or her followers, it’s the beginning of the end. It doesn’t matter which political party or church it is…it’s the abdication of our personal responsibility, and the enthronement of yet another false god.
I also have to admit we’ve colluded in this. In part because we’ve said churches aren’t the proper place to deal with/talk about politics. In my experience, churches are as politically driven as any other organization. The sign of a healthy church isn’t agreement. It’s disagreement. Energetic and safe (not deadly) discussion about things that matter. Plus the ability to live and work together and with the world–part of our parish, and contributors to the work of the church. Sometimes by banging on the doors and letting us know what we need to attend to now.
Oh my. You hooked me! Thanks for the kind comment and memory. The memory made me tear up a bit.
Elouise
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Elouise, so good to see your post and resonate with your words. I am so afraid of losing the ability to be outraged by events, of becoming numb to the gross violations of human dignity that seem to be on the increase. I pray that we will find a way to grasp hold of our humanity and prevent it from slipping away. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
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Hi, Bron! It’s good to hear from you. Your fear echoes my own. We’ve already notched down our outrage at the outrageous. Your prayer is right on target. What’s at stake is our humanity. Thank you for your comment and your prayer, in which I join.
I sometimes wonder how people who haven’t been around for a while (like you and like me) get a historical perspective on the way things might be. I have no interest in going back to the so-called ‘good old days.’ I do, however, grieve today’s loss of historical perspective, and the dwindling number of leaders (of both church and state) who aren’t afraid to stand up for the dignity of every human being. Getting elected, or keeping one’s parish, isn’t the goal of human service to God or country.
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