Facing an end-of-life avalanche
by Elouise
For friends and strangers
Or any human being
Facing an end-of-life avalanche –
One step at a time
Seems far too small and
Way too late
The uneven beauty of years
Rises from ashes to haunt
And perplex mind and soul
Searching for nothing more
Than rest from this accumulation
Of daily toil interrupted by
Reminders of the past
With its strange stew
Of brilliance and horror
Sorting through outdated files
I follow my cautious steps
Through mine fields and
Unexpected mountain tops
That fail to convey the full
Truth of any moment
Heavy with the perplexities
Of life and friendship as well as
Camouflaged frenemies
Waiting in the wings for
My demise or my glory
How mixed up we all are
On this planet of painful turmoil
And disappointments stirred
Into a pot of sometimes rancid
Stew or on that rare occasion
A table set with the finest
Wine known to human beings
Huddled in our offices hoping
For a visit from glory without
Death and without regret
For friends and strangers
Or any human being
Facing an end-of-life avalanche –
One step at a time
Seems far too small and
Way too late
A few weeks ago D and I began tackling the most difficult sorting-out project of our lives. It’s one thing to move into a house and get things in order.
Now, however, we’re immersed in divesting ourselves of collections of various kinds. We’ve stored them away fairly neatly for nearly 40 years. Think of academic files, picture files, books, CDs, and items from parents and other family members no longer with us. What I don’t understand is why, though we’ve already given away thousands of books, it feels as though we haven’t even scratched the surface.
Then there are academic files going back to college, seminary, university, teaching and administration years. I’m getting better at letting things go. Still, I can’t help feeling sad, especially when I come across notes from friends with whom I once studied or worked.
Thanks for stopping by!
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 7 August 2021
Image found at journeytowardsimple.com
Telling the Truth 
sorting what is worth keeping is slow, but as you advance through the process, it does put a smile or sign on your face, amen, at the gates of Heaven,it’s the joyful things that will get you in the door, cheers for the thoughts, amen
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What kind, encouraging words. I’m grateful for your wisdom about sorting slowly and steadily. Thank you. 🙏🏻
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I hear you clearly as this piece resonates so much with where I am in life’s journey.
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my Soul to keep[;] If I should die before I ‘wake, I pray the Lord my Soul to take.
Beaten, broken, crushed, and oh so ready. I know you Lord will keep my soul May I die before I wake And enter now through heaven’s gates.
Lorraine
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Hi, Lorraine.
I pray this day will bring you closer to rest. I’ve used that childhood prayer in my past, intentionally omitting the last line. My main petition was that when I fell asleep, I didn’t want to wake up again. I suppose you could call it a cry for help. I saw and still see it as the truth about the debilitating depression I was falling into way too often. Better not to wake up, no matter what.
However, I like your revision of the prayer in your last paragraph. And though I don’t like the idea of losing you, I understand your wish to be done with the agony. Thank you for the comment. I pray this day will bring you “joy in the place of sorrow, peace in the midst of pain.” I just found a blog post about this hymn and its author: http://barryshymns.blogspot.com/2011/10/deeper-and-deeper.html, in case you’re interested.
Elouise
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