Sometimes…I cannot pray | George MacDonald
by Elouise
The news from Ukraine and neighboring countries is more than grim. No matter who ‘wins’ this obscene standoff, too many have already lost. How, then, am I to pray?
Today I read this sonnet from George MacDonald. His life was full of unwanted tragedy, death, pain, and strife.
Sometimes, hard-trying, it seems I cannot pray–
For doubt, and pain, and anger, and all strife.
Yet some poor half-fledged prayer-bird from the nest
May fall, flit, fly, perch–crouch in the bowery breast
Of the large, nation-healing tree of life;–
Moveless there sit through all the burning day,
And on my heart at night a fresh leaf cooling lay.From George MacDonald’s Diary of an Old Soul, p. 13
© Augsburg Publishing House (1975) and Augsburg Fortress (1994)
It seems not knowing how to pray isn’t the end of the world. Perhaps it means we’re in touch with reality. And what then?
I hear George MacDonald, whose life was filled with strife, pain, anger and doubt, suggesting it’s OK. I don’t have to know what to say. In fact, not knowing what to say might be the most honest way to approach strife such as he endured, and many are enduring right now in Ukraine and beyond.
In the middle of seeming chaos, do I have the courage of the half-fledged prayer-bird to “sit through the burning day”? Waiting, watching, staying close to the “large, nation-healing tree of life” until this little bird brings a “fresh leaf” to cool my troubled heart?
May our Creator have mercy on us all.
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 14 March 2022
Photo of young fledgling found at birdguides.com
What a beautiful Person we’re waiting on!
Marilyn
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Indeed! Beautiful, and not at all what we expected. Thanks, Marilyn.
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Thanks Elouise for your honesty. I agree with you and George MacDonald (whose books I love) that knowing how and what to pray for in such tragedies tells me that I feel helpless. Certainly strength and wisdom and safety for the Ukrainian President and those with him and those who have been killed and injured. And those just scared and hungry.such an evil, sad time.
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Isn’t George MacDonald an amazing human being? Helpless. Not a bad place to be. It’s easier, somehow, to pray for those engaged in warfare than for ourselves or the perceived enemies. And…to my chagrin, it makes me keenly aware that I’m sitting here in a so-called ‘safe’ place. Seemingly far from the immediate battlefield. Tempted daily to think it’s all about “them” (the evil invaders) than about us. All of us. Blessings to you in these troubled days.
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Waiting in prayer sometimes is the best way to pray. I think when we see Jesus we will be so marveling at Him that we won’t be able to ask one question or utter one sound.
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What a wonderful way of thinking about it. Thanks, Betty. The idea of not being able to ask a question or utter a sound when our time comes is thought-provoking and somehow comforting.
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Waiting. Patience. The not doing. The hardest, for me.
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Indeed. It rubs against our American spirit of grand adventure and global understanding we too often think we have. Thanks, Janet. In the end, ‘not doing’ (as waiting patiently) may sometimes be the most honest response we can make. This raises questions about the meaning of our doing ‘something.’ I’ve been noticing how many orchestras, for example, are–with good will, I’m certain–presenting concerts on behalf of the people of Ukraine. I applaud the desire to stand in solidarity. However, it’s not easy to know how to stand in solidarity (especially as citizens) with people we don’t know and can’t touch.
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Amazing
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Thank you kindly.
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