On singing myself to sleep
by Elouise
Before I go to bed each night, I make an informal entry in my evening journal. Here’s the heart of what I wrote last night. I had in mind the ongoing three-ring circus of politics in the USA as well as my own health issues. Though you may not have had a blood draw early this morning, perhaps you can relate.
Today was gone before it began
I never caught up with it or myself
Tomorrow already bears down–
An early morning blood draw plus
everyday tasks amid unrelenting
uncertainty and distractions
Be close to me this night
Open my ears to hear and follow You
It’s time to rest beneath Your wings
And sing myself to sleep
I’ve often sung myself to sleep. Whatever pops into my mind. As many lines and verses as I can remember. Followed by the next song–usually a hymn–that rises to the surface.
When I was in grade school, it was somewhat onerous to memorize hymns (all stanzas, no mistakes). Nonetheless, I’m grateful for the comfort they bring to me. Especially at night when I’m feeling a bit lost in the craziness of our war-weary world.
Singing myself to sleep isn’t magic. It is, however, a way to do for myself something I can’t remember anyone doing for me as a child–singing me to sleep. In addition, it shuts out all those other voices clamoring for attention.
Thanks for stopping by today!
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 14 June 2022
Photo found at pinterest.com
Telling the Truth 
Beautiful, Elouise, and so encouraging! I often sing in my head, if not out loud, when I cannot sleep (usually it is because I cannot stop thinking about someone or something not at peace in my orbit..).The night may be short on sleep, but I am reminded that I am not alone; the Lord is near, and I am comforted by that.
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Thanks, Debbie, for your comment. Yes, it can be a powerful and comforting reminder. I’m always amazed when ‘just the right’ hymn tells me it wants to be sung. And then, like clockwork, another one comes to mind when I finish the first one. At least 99% are from hymnals and old choir anthems from my college days. Who would have guessed that all that agony of memorizing would one day come home to calm and encourage me? 🙂
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Oh, so beautiful! I think this is a beautiful way to calm our minds and hearts…and then fall asleep to some words of encouragement. 🙂
It’s interesting how some of the oldest poems and songs we memorized in childhood are the ones we remember best now. 🙂
I had a friend who battle cancer MANY times and died in her 50’s. She told me when she’d go in for MRI’s, CT Scans, (and other medical testing) and couldn’t lay flat on her back and be still…she always had pain…she said she’d sing out loud…hymns mostly. She said one time the young man running the test said, “Lady, I’ve never had anyone do THAT before!” She and I got a good laugh out of it… she was hoping the words to the hymns helped him in some way. 🙂
(((HUGS))) 🙂 ❤️
PS…I finally put up a new post on my WP blog! 🙂
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I love your story about your friend! I can’t imagine breaking out in hymns while undergoing medical tests…BUT I’m now thinking about it. I figure some people already think I’m a crazy ‘old’ lady…so why not live it up?! 🙂 I have at least a hymnbook of songs in my memory. It would be a shame to overlook them. Seriously, the sense of calm and focus is for real. As for your PS…I’ll be over sometime later today to read your new WP post! I’m counting on Good News…:)
Elouise
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You deserved to be sung to sleep as a child – I’m so sorry you weren’t. Grace and peace to you, Elouise.
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Hi, dw. The reality is sad…my mother was a fabulous musician. She was also a polio survivor (late 1940s). She was 25 years old; I was 5. She and my sister Diane (5 months old) got polio. Mom’s was as bad as it could be. It did a number on her speech/swallowing/blowing abilities, totally paralyzed her from the waste down, and paralyzed the left side of her body from the top of her head right on down. She never fully recovered, and lived until 1999. In 1949, she woke up one morning and couldn’t make herself understood. I was able to decipher her vocalizing, and helped her crawl to the bathroom. Just three months before this, she had begun teaching me to play the piano (her instrument of choice). In some ways, this was her greatest gift to me. Still, I never had anyone sing me to sleep except myself. I remember singing to her when she was in the hospital following a stroke, unable to sleep. She was moved to hospice care straight from the hospital, and died about 3 months later. There was a piano down the hall from her room; I was able to play the piano for her…a huge thank you for what she gave me musically. I think of her often when I’m singing to myself at night.
Thanks so much for your comment. I didn’t mean to go on and on, and yes every child deserves to be sung to sleep. I sometimes wonder who is singing the children to sleep tonight?
Elouise
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Your story – your life – the cup God prepared for you – your telling of it…
For some, it would be a tragedy. But the way I understand it, for you and your readers, a salvation song.
Thank you 🙏🏼
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You’re welcome, dw.
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That’s interesting. This just reminded me that for many years as a young person I retained a memory of a voice lulling backwards. It would often come to me in my dreams. Eventually I came to the idea that I was remembering someone who had sung to me as a young child, and for whatever reason, the words/sound rang backwards in my memory.
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Hi, Gwen–
What a strange and wonderful message from somewhere! The backward direction is amazing. I wish I knew more about how to interpret dreams! 🙂 However, it seems to be at least a reminder that someone back there cared enough to sing to you. And you cared enough to remember. OK. I’m now out of my depth. I hope your writing project is alive and well.
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It is weird isn’t it? I have a friend who insists I should be able to interpret my dreams if I apply myself, but it is beyond me. And I dream so much! Like you, I am out of my depth.
Sadly, the writing is all in my head at the moment. My days are simply flying by.
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In your head isn’t necessarily bad. It’s marinating, getting better and better–waiting to be dished up. Right? 🙂
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I had an odd flash fiction story hit me the other day. (Less than 500 words, sometimes only 250).
A woman is folding her husband’s boxer shorts. Feels an ache in her heart. Turns out he has been dead for ten years but she still washes and folds his underwear every week.
I’ll try to flesh that out.
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👏👏👏
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Not singing, but nights I couldn’t sleep my father would take me in his arms and cuddle me until I slept. It is a precious memory. Tears.
I do wonder if someone has created a YouTube channel to sing a child asleep. It would be a beautiful offering!
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Oh, David. What a wonderful memory to have! I also think your YouTube channel question/idea is spectacular. Well worth looking into.
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Elouise, I was thinking of sending a note to Bob Boylen at NPR about it. He runs their “Tiny Desk Concert” series.
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Yes! Great idea! 🎶🎶🎶👏👏👏
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I imagine reading through these reflections at the end of the year must be so emotional and strengthening! Love the idea of these daily journals
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Thank you, Jaya! I sleep better when I’ve written evening notes about each day. Not much. One page is more than enough to capture what stands out at the end of a day. It also helps me later remember things I’d sometimes rather forget. The best payoff, though, is that it makes space in my mind for other things, such as singing myself to sleep. 🎶🎶🎶
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