Reminders that I’m not alone
by Elouise
Tears well up,
spill over without
warning
Sadness looms,
indelibly engraved
on my heart
Reading old journals,
playing the piano,
watching fiery sunsets
Or watching children filled
with laughter on a day
unlike any other day
Content and discontent
all in the same moment
Life is short.
What will I do with this day?
Does it even matter?
Look! There’s a brilliant goldfinch on the bird feeder!
Yes, I know my desk is covered with clutter—
things I don’t want to close, put away just yet
or forget.
Sometimes I think my life has become a pile of
notes, cards, letters, and lists of supplements
I take to keep this old body chugging along.
Still, today there’s a goldfinch on the feeder,
and cool, dry air we haven’t enjoyed recently,
plus cicadas singing their screechy summer songs,
and Smudge roosting on the refrigerator door.
Not everything I would like
but enough for this day–
reminders that I’m not alone
Thanks for stopping by.
Elouise♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 1 August 2023
Fancied-up photo of Smudge plus magnifying ‘eyeglasses’ provided by our daughter and her husband.
Telling the Truth 
Not alone, no. But lonely sometimes, that’s unavoidable. Here we have rain breezing past in waves, and I wonder where our birds are hiding. I hope you are okay today, and can find enjoyment in the ever present present.
((Xxxx))
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Thank you, dear Fran. Yes, lonely sometimes is unavoidable. The death of Sister #2 feels like alone-ness. Not because we were close, but because we were finally finding each other as adult women. Four daughters. Each of us going our ‘separate’ way to find freedom to be ourselves. It’s all way more complicated than I’ll ever understand. At the same time, I feel the clock ticking down for me, though my health is better now than it was a year ago. In addition, it doesn’t help to be living in the USA right now. Finding my ‘present’ each day takes a level of effort that drains me. Exercise (especially walking outdoors in the morning) seems to be the current highlight of most of my days. 🙂 🙂 and ((Xxxx))
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Hello Elouise
I am happy that you recognize that you are not alone and that you take pleasure in the simple gifts in life. I, too, find joy in simple things as the slower pace of old age has given me the opportunity to treasure what I had barely noticed in busier days.
I wonder if you are seeking opportunities, in addition to your blog, to use your gifts. It’s unlikely that you will do so in as prominent a position as Dean of Palmer. Yet the simple ways in which we of advanced years can exercise our gifts are as profound as that fiery sunset or children’s laughter.
What wisdom and insight you possess, Elouise! I so valued our visits as they were full of God’s blessings and instruction. I hope that you continue to share what God had shown you with other believers. Certainly, as you share yourself with others through your blog, many are blessed.
Yet I am referring to the focused sharing in our conversations, the comradery of kindred spirits, the stimulation for my own growth. I am better off for those exchanges with you. I hope that you seek opportunities for teaching and discipling and friendship, however that may look in this stage of life.
I love you!
Marilyn ________________________________
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Dear Marilyn,
What a kind note. It makes me more than a bit teary. I will always treasure the times we were able to be together–in groups and one on one. I’ve learned so much from you and from a few other wonderful friends at our church. Even though I miss academic life, I’ve found tons of ways to be active in outreach efforts here in the Philly area. I’ve also found friends and neighbors I never knew I had.
You’ve taught me so much. I often wonder how you keep going, especially when things aren’t always looking up. I suppose it’s all making us stronger–even though we come in ‘weak’ packages. Old age is no picnic. Especially during the last several years of Covid, growing addiction, homelessness, random shootings, and the fallout from daily lies. Still, as you say, there are ways of reaching out. I pray I’ll be able to keep doing that and am grateful for friends like you who show me the way.
Elouise
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A beautiful wise poem! It brought tears to my eyes.
Yes, we must always remember we are not alone.
And I know you are in the hearts, minds, thoughts, and prayers of so many people, including me. 🙂
I try each day to see the joys…and, gosh, if I don’t find them! 😉 🙂 ❤️
(((HUGS))) 🙂
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Hi, Carolyn! Thank you for your very kind words and reminder. We are NOT alone! I grew up thinking the world was against me (us), and my job was to make sure we understood what was happening all around us that was ‘bad’. I guess so we could all fix it? I wish I could! But even more than that, I’m still learning to see and embody what you call “the joys”! A great word for me today….JOY! 🙂 And hugs, too, of course. (((joyful hugs)))
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Yes, there are joys in each day…but if on a day I can’t seem to “see” the joys…I try to create some. 😉
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Hmm….not a skill I was taught to exercise! However, it’s full of wisdom and worth pursuing. Hmm….
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I was not taught it either. Just had to figure it out on my own. And I find it works for me.
🙂 ❤️
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PS…I meant to add…What a great photo of Sir Smudge!!! 🙂
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I don’t know what I/we would do without him! He’s not thrilled with being turned into a poster-boy, but to be perfectly honest, he LOVES being the center of attention! I’ll pass you comment on to him. I hope he doesn’t turn all elitist on me! 🙂
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HA! I’m sure he won’t! 😉 ❤️
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I love that you included Smudge in your poem.
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Thank you, Herminia! He’s one of my best friends. 🙂
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Gosh, I can relate to your post. And that is immensely important. You are creating Spider-Man web/connections, keeping it real, with strangers, who also feel afloat.
Your words are soft pancakes with warm maple syrup and German butter.
Thank you writer friend from afar. We all love you!
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Hi, Janet. I’m just now (1:05pm, August 12) reading your comment. Thank you so much for your encouragement. We all need it right now, no matter what our circumstances. Someday I hope to meet all my friends who live far away. I’m hoping to get a post up in the next day or so. A lot has happened since my last one. Life is sweet and life is short. Take care.
Elouise
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Sending love your way, dearheart.
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Just stopping in with some ❤️ and (((HUGS))). 🙂
I can’t believe how the summer is flyin’ by! 😮
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Oh my. You’re so right about summer flying by! Thanks for all the luv and hugs! I need them these days. So much is going on in this world–and in our little worlds. I pray yours is clam, happy and surprisingly wonderful today! 🙂
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Thank you, SweetElouise! ❤️🙏💐❤️
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