Grief revisited

by Elouise

 

winter sun pierces
my paralyzed heart waking
frozen grief at will

The last few years have been difficult in ways I never anticipated. For whatever it’s worth, I’m not wired to be a happy-go-lucky woman. Nor am I eager or able to ‘get over’ what my body and spirit can’t let go of.

How might I make use of grief I’ve experienced for 80 years as the female I was and now am? Not because it will make me feel better, but because grief acknowledged and shared can build bridges with people we never dreamed we would meet.

Due to ongoing health issues, I struggle with daily isolation. Still, I’m a people person. These days tears come quickly. They’re often followed by anguish and anger at how isolated I feel, and how many things I can’t count on anymore.

When I was in my late 40s, I did five years of personal work in AlAnon. I attended meetings three times a week. I learned quickly that what triggered my desire to fix others kept me from tending to my own pain. For the first time ever, I learned to listen. I also learned when and how to seek help from trusted friends.

Naming my issues and being accepted for the woman I am created a bridge of trust that gave me hope and courage to keep going. I don’t know exactly where this will take me. Still, I’m grateful for your visit today. Especially now, as things seem to be falling apart wherever we look.

Praying you’ll find peace and hope during this holy season.
Elouise

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 16 December 2023
Photo of Northern Lights at edge of Boreal Forest, Manitoba, Canada taken by David Marx, found at pinterest.com