Not once have I blamed Daddy for his beatings and troubling behavior toward me. In Part 3 of The Air I Breathed, I talked about my habit of constantly blaming myself. I didn’t like seeing this then, and I still don’t like it. Blaming myself may have been OK as a survival skill when I was a young child and teenager; it’s not OK now, decades later.
So where am I today? Read the rest of this entry »
Of all the things I listed in my initial observations about Part 1, one troubles me most–my inability to blame Daddy. I’m used to blaming myself, or at least wondering whether I’m to blame for things that happen to or around me. This seems to be one of my favorite default modes. However, given the nature of the air I breathed back then, I’m surprised at my internal response: Read the rest of this entry »