Telling the Truth

connecting the dots of my life

Tag: Memories

drifting away

 

 hazy day 2

drifting away on

ebb-tide summer fades into

cool hazy memories

* * *

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 6 October 2014
Photo Credit:  DAFraser

I sure could use a good laugh! | Dear Diane

An eyebrow-raising sense of humor and almost wicked delight in planning, anticipating and pulling off the perfect practical joke.  Especially if it involved some quirky thing about bodies.  ALS offered Diane plenty of bodily material. Read the rest of this entry »

weather-beaten house

P1050188

weather-beaten house

empty nests brilliant blue sky–

what songs lined your walls?

 * * *

Music was huge in our home:  piano practice, singing grace before each meal, old phonograph records played over and over.  Mother taught us to sing in three-part harmony while she accompanied us on the piano or a small portable electric organ.  She also played and taught us children’s songs from the old Childcraft songbook for kids, and silly kindergarten songs with all the motions.

Three memories come to mind when I think about music that lined the walls of my childhood homes. Read the rest of this entry »

The Other 9/11

 Wedding Day, 11 September 196511 September 1965

 forty-nine years of

adventure and catastrophe Read the rest of this entry »

Female Bodies and Sex Ed | Part 2 of 3

It’s 1954.  We just finished breakfast, and are sitting around the dinner table.  Sister #4 is about one year old.  Mother is holding her at one end of the table.  Daddy is sitting at the ‘head’ of the table.  Sisters #2 and #3 and I are present.  We don’t know it, but Sex Ed 101 for Daughters is about to begin.   Read the rest of this entry »

Female Bodies and Sex Ed | Part 1 of 3

Am I ready?  Never.  But I want to begin somewhere.  So here goes.

Jesus, Mary and all other daughters of Eve
Female bodies were not celebrated in my family.  Too bad.  When I was a child and young teenager my female body was regularly ignored, observed, commented upon, shamed, ridiculed, Read the rest of this entry »

Starving for Sisterly Conversation | Part 3 of 3

January 9, 1996, 9:00pm, Philadelphia
The phone rings.  Hi.  It’s Diane.  I’m not well – no easy way to tell you – not post-polio, but ALS – I’m going to need help, a lot of help.  I hang up and go downstairs, weeping as I tell my family the news.

January 30, 1996, late afternoon, Houston
I walk off the plane and see Diane standing in front of a pillar.  Small floral print on navy dress, empire waist and smocked bodice – ivory stockings – very pretty – gold chains – hair highlights in blond – stoop-shouldered and slow. Read the rest of this entry »

frozen in memory

frozen in memory
erupting without warning
dear earth gasps for air

* * * * *

haunting
sounds of
choking
escalate

no words
no breath
no time Read the rest of this entry »

baptismal waters

baptismal waters
rise gently enfolding her
world-weary body

* * * * *

I’m standing in a windowless, high-ceiling concrete room
with a concrete floor, drainage holes and air vents.
A deep whirlpool tub stands in the middle
filled with warm steamy water.
The room faintly resembles a large sauna minus the wood.
Functional, not beautiful.

Mother is in hospice care after suffering a stroke weeks ago
and then developing pneumonia in the hospital.
Her ability to communicate with words is almost nonexistent.
Today she’s going to be given a bath.
I’m told she loves this, and that
Sister #4 and I are welcome to witness the event.

For the past hour caregivers have been preparing her–
removing her bedclothes, easing her onto huge soft towels,
rolling and shifting her inch by inch onto a padded bath trolley,
doing all they can to minimize pain and honor her body.
Finally, they slowly roll the trolley down the hall.

The hospice sauna room echoes with the sound of
feet, soft voices, and running water.
It takes a team to carry out this comforting
though strange and even unnerving ritual.
Mother is safely secured to the padded bath table and
then lowered slowly into the water.
Her eyes are wide open.

For a few moments she fixes her eyes on mine.
The table  descends bit by bit.
How does she feel?
What is she thinking?
At  first her eyes seem anxious.
Is she afraid?
The warm waters rise around her and the table stops descending.
Her face relaxes and she closes her eyes.

The team works gently, thoroughly, not in haste.
They focus on her, talk to her and handle her body with reverence.
My eyes brim with tears.
This woman who bathed me, my three sisters
and most of her grandbabies is being given a bath
by what appears to be a team of angels in celestial garments.

They finish their work and roll Mother back to her room.
Her bed has clean sheets.
Fresh bedclothes have been laid out.
Caregivers anoint her body with oil and lotion, turn her gently,
and comment on how clear and beautiful her skin is.
They finish clothing her, adjust the pillows to cradle her body,
pull up light covers and leave her to fall asleep.

* * *

Last Sunday I witnessed the immersion baptism of seven young people at my home church.  I couldn’t help recalling this tender, even sacramental immersion just days before Mother’s death, and decided to share it with you.

Haiku written 3 June 2014
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 3 June 2014

weeping branches

weeping beech, aka the cemetery tree

weeping branches brush
lightly against my face and
whisper sweet somethings

* * * * *

a weeping beech stands watch
near the cemetery Read the rest of this entry »