Contempt – intrusive, ever-present, almost impossible to pin down. But that’s exactly why I need to talk about it.
After several false starts, Read the rest of this entry »
Isn’t it time to get on with it? Let the past be the past? I understand these questions. I know the feeling. If I open up that can of worms it will devour me! And cause anguish to other people.
Henri Nouwen opens the first section of his small book, The Living Reminder, with this story about Elie Wiesel. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s out there. I published it. Why am I feeling so much more exposed now than I did when I wrote about my father? Or even the Shopkeeper? Read the rest of this entry »
I’m feeling raw today.
Best to start with
A Reality Check Read the rest of this entry »
This blog is about connecting the dots in my life. Part 1 reminds me of something I share with thousands of young children. Here’s my attempt to show and tell what I mean. Read the rest of this entry »
‘Have you forgiven your father?’ A fair question, never easy to answer. With regard to forgiveness, I aim to become one of the tough-minded Lewis Smedes talks about in his book, The Art of Forgiving. Read the rest of this entry »
Not once have I blamed Daddy for his beatings and troubling behavior toward me. In Part 3 of The Air I Breathed, I talked about my habit of constantly blaming myself. I didn’t like seeing this then, and I still don’t like it. Blaming myself may have been OK as a survival skill when I was a young child and teenager; it’s not OK now, decades later.
So where am I today? Read the rest of this entry »
I agonized about whether to begin this blog. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I was terrified. Of what? I’m not sure. Probably the concreteness of truth. Even though I lived with it all my life, putting truth out there in concrete words is different.
The words below are from my journal. I made the entry on 19 July 2012, about 18 months before I published my first post, Dear Dad. Read the rest of this entry »
When did it all begin?
When did I enter your supply chain?
When did I become a commodity, a disposable object
not for sale but for use on demand,
with or without pay?
When did I become your toy
to imagine as prey,
to stalk, hunt down,
toss around and torment
with or without warning? Read the rest of this entry »
silhouetted high
atop a bare tree the dove
coos a mourning song
* * *
non-judgmental, calm, soothing
predictable, unhurried, hypnotic
soft, clear, ubiquitous
unobtrusive, gentle, alert
present, unyielding, quiet
reassuring presence of God
in, with, above, beneath, around and for
each aching, bewildered, terrified corner of our
hope-hungry world
with its everyday heartaches, pain, despair,
starvation, contempt, betrayals,
confusion and brokenness
God,
Grant us courage
to accept and to be present, quiet hope today
as one of your creatures
in just one corner of this tired old world
you still love so much.
Amen
* * * * * * *
Haiku written 24 June 2014
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 25 June 2014
Telling the Truth 