upper level atmospheric disturbances

by Elouise

Upper Atmosphere, Vadas-JA020280_main_Web-800x600

Upper level atmospheric disturbances
Pound my body invade my dreams
Mess with my heart beat
Vision
Balance

Food
The right food
Fast
Routine tasks become
Dizzying exercises
What do I need to do next
Flighty whims
Distract
Feet wander
Want to go
Elsewhere

Keep it simple
One thing at a time
Ditch everyday routines
Stay alert
Long enough to swallow
What is most precious
Everything else can wait
No matter how beguiling
Or promising

You know the drill
Do it
This can pass
If you don’t pass out
Or forget 9-1-1

This event took place when I woke up this morning. D was out for several hours at a meeting. I wrote this free verse after doing all the right things and waiting for them to kick in and rescue my disoriented body. Which they did.

Last night and today we’re getting a quick, stormy one-two pounding from a massive weather front. My body already feels it, even though the sun is shining through the clouds. By tonight it will be over and done with.

Why write about this? Because it’s a challenging part of living in my body. Yes, God created me with this body. Yes, others had their hand at shaping some of what happens in and through my body.

Yet it’s larger than that. It’s about learning to live responsibly in God’s mysteriously interconnected universe. Honoring its sometimes unpredictable impact on my already fragile human life–a precious gift.

I don’t like going through things like this by myself. I would prefer having D here with me, even though I’m a fairly independent woman. Some things come easily. Taking care of myself immediately when this particular syndrome kicks is not one of them.

I greatly prefer waiting it out until I feel better. Hoping it will dissipate. I don’t want to look like a fool–even to myself. Being proactive on my own behalf feels like over-reacting. I’ll just wait until it’s really bad….or goes away. Denial? Who, me? I’m still learning the drill.

© Elouise Renich Fraser, 23 June 2015
Image from eos.org