One Day and One Dream Later
Sunday evening I agonized over whether to post Presence on Monday morning. Was it long enough? Good enough? Worth anyone taking time to read?
While washing the dishes after supper, my mind was busy:
- You can un-schedule it! Even trash it! That’s the beauty of WordPress, isn’t it?
- Take it down and think about it further. It’s no big deal!
- Maybe you’re trying to fill a slot with something that doesn’t yet measure up.
- You know the first three lines aren’t really a poem!
- And putting the story in poetic form doesn’t make that a poem, either.
I finished the dishes, went and read the post once again. I decided it didn’t matter what others might think about it. I like it. It happened. It was important to me.
So I decided to leave it up. That meant it would be out there at 5:00 am Monday morning, long before I was out of bed.
Just before I woke up Monday morning I had a dream. I don’t remember all the details, but I do remember this:
I’m in a large house that reminds me of the house I lived in when we were in Savannah, Georgia. That was the house on the river. I’m in the downstairs, which is nearly empty of furniture, floor coverings or wall hangings. I catch a glimpse of my father in the parlor/living room. He’s dressed in simple work clothes and looks about 55 years old. He’s in front of the fireplace, where he has just burned items that used to be in the house. I’m surprised to see him, and not happy about what he’s doing.
I start to tell him I needed some of those things, when just behind me I hear the voice of one of my teenage granddaughters. She’s telling me it’s OK. We don’t need to go out and buy anything for this house. We can go out and find what we need! She’s looking out the window, checking out the possibilities. She says all we need from the house is this long pole and this large piece of fabric. She holds them up to show me her ‘tools’ for exploration. I have no idea what she’s going to do. I’m also intrigued. I want to hear more, and I want to be part of the adventure. She smiles and says she would love to do this with me.
Suddenly, from just behind me, I hear the voice of my younger grandson. He wants to come, too! My granddaughter says of course you can come. I’m starting to feel excited about whatever is going to happen next. I’m more than ready for my granddaughter’s adventuresome take on life outside this old house.
When I got up, I couldn’t help making a connection between the young girl in my Monday post and this dream. There’s a young girl who wants to show me the way. I know, because she’s part of me. And there’s a young boy who wants to go with us.
They’re right there in my life–young boys, girls and teens. When I pay attention to them, they show me without words how to be myself. It’s like looking in a mirror and recognizing myself for the first time, reclaiming another missing piece of the puzzle.
I want to be part of the adventure outside life in this old house, even if it means standing on a rock in the middle of a stream! I’m still wondering what that long pole and large piece of fabric are about. Maybe we’re going to build a raft and live on the river!
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 18 Janaury 2016
Image of Puppy’s Adventure from wallcoo.net