I’ve been avoiding this post for more than a couple of weeks. No, I don’t have a dire disease. I do, however, have a medical issue. Though it didn’t develop overnight, the seriousness factor weighs heavy just now. I’m already getting it sorted out, and will hopefully decide on next steps by the end of February.
The worst thing today is that I can’t drive! Though D is a willing and patient man, I don’t like being dependent on him in this way. Still, I’m beyond grateful he has retired and is available to serve as my #1 Chauffeur.
Would you believe I’ve been thinking a lot about my body? I want to give it time to rest and tell me what I need to be doing (or not doing) and writing these days. I don’t yet know what that will mean for blog posts.
My major challenge is to stay focused on the present instead of being distracted by unknowns. I have a history of jumping into the future (paralyzing anxiety), or back into the past (rehearsing and not accepting what cannot be changed).
Right now it’s about anxiety. I don’t want to get cozy with it. I want to meet it head-on with whatever it takes: the H.A.L.T. test, deep breathing and relaxation, reading or listening to books, playing the piano, going for long walks. Or maybe cleaning out another closet or two.
I’ve never regretted my decision to blog. Never. In fact, now, more than ever, I find it life-giving—when I don’t let it consume the rest of my life.
As an INFJ, I confess to getting hooked by activities I love (such as writing and blogging), so that time flies by and I don’t take consistently good care of myself. Which sets off an avalanche of anxiety.
So here’s to listening to my body, cherishing it, and letting it guide me to what I need to do next. So far today I got up at a good time, finished my personal care tasks, ate breakfast, wrote a draft of this post, ate lunch on time and got some good exercise in.
Thanks for being there, reading and listening.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 27 January 2016
Beautiful image from brandiekajino.com