Body Talk
by Elouise
I’ve been avoiding this post for more than a couple of weeks. No, I don’t have a dire disease. I do, however, have a medical issue. Though it didn’t develop overnight, the seriousness factor weighs heavy just now. I’m already getting it sorted out, and will hopefully decide on next steps by the end of February.
The worst thing today is that I can’t drive! Though D is a willing and patient man, I don’t like being dependent on him in this way. Still, I’m beyond grateful he has retired and is available to serve as my #1 Chauffeur.
Would you believe I’ve been thinking a lot about my body? I want to give it time to rest and tell me what I need to be doing (or not doing) and writing these days. I don’t yet know what that will mean for blog posts.
My major challenge is to stay focused on the present instead of being distracted by unknowns. I have a history of jumping into the future (paralyzing anxiety), or back into the past (rehearsing and not accepting what cannot be changed).
Right now it’s about anxiety. I don’t want to get cozy with it. I want to meet it head-on with whatever it takes: the H.A.L.T. test, deep breathing and relaxation, reading or listening to books, playing the piano, going for long walks. Or maybe cleaning out another closet or two.
I’ve never regretted my decision to blog. Never. In fact, now, more than ever, I find it life-giving—when I don’t let it consume the rest of my life.
As an INFJ, I confess to getting hooked by activities I love (such as writing and blogging), so that time flies by and I don’t take consistently good care of myself. Which sets off an avalanche of anxiety.
So here’s to listening to my body, cherishing it, and letting it guide me to what I need to do next. So far today I got up at a good time, finished my personal care tasks, ate breakfast, wrote a draft of this post, ate lunch on time and got some good exercise in.
Thanks for being there, reading and listening.
Elouise
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 27 January 2016
Beautiful image from brandiekajino.com
Telling the Truth 
The depth and truth of your words shared are always appreciated, to be human and so open and honest is refreshing, be well my friend, peace and blessings, K
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Thank you Kim–yet again. Elouise
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You said you have a history of ‘jumping …… back into the past (rehearsing and not accepting what cannot be changed). And the implication that all that is a bad thing. And it is, most of the time. But you said you wrote a draft of this post and then you go back and if there is something you should change you do. Isn’t all that history and the PTSD that you talk about really mean that you have accepted that you can’t change any of it. Why don’t you make a list. Go back and write down all the things that cause you worry. And then, with D’s help, (if you need him to help) put them into two separate lists. most you can’t change. But some you can. Then get the big, long, ugly list and have your own personal little holocaust and NEVER think of them again. And get the small interesting list of things you can change, and start changing them. There, how’s that for a bit of unsolicited psycho babble?
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Like it, John! Thank you 🙂
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Not bad, John! 🙂 I know that one thing I work on every day is taking care of my body. That I can change–have already, and will continue doing as long as possible. The sneaky part is when I think I’m doing so very well with my body (and I am!), and another unexpected consequence of early trauma rears its ugly head. That’s what’s happening right now. I’m also beginning to get it–the long list of things I can’t change is longer than I thought it was. No fun to acknowledge–though this is definitely putting it in my face. With doctors to help me make the list, no less!
I love your psycho babble–mainly because I know you wouldn’t take time to write all of that psycho babble (as you call it) down if you didn’t care. Thanks so much, John, for being a faithful presence.
Elouise
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PS, I just dropped in to Cryptic Garland for a look around. I’ll be back over the road in a little while.
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I’ll try to be ready! I hope Cryptic Garland is still breathing.
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Thank you too, for your grace, courage and love. (((xxx)))
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Thanks, Fran! 🙂
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Thank you for your description in confronting illness and the anxiety it often creates around uncertainty. With your grace and grit, you will most certainly find your way.
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Thank you Deb! I like your phrase “find your way.” That’s exactly how it feels.
Elouise
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And PS – you don’t need to do anything! 🙂
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Right! Got it!!!!
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God be extra close to you in your walk. Being is more important than doing.
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Thank you, John. I like your word ‘walk.’ No running. Just walking.
Elouise
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Yes, sometimes we forget to listen to our bodies. Best wishes for health to you, Eloise.
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Thank you, April! I’ve often wondered why such a simple habit is so difficult to replicate from one day to the next. I think I’m in for a lot of practice!
Elouise
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I wish you well.
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🙂
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Thanks for giving us something meaningful to read and a reason to be there to listen ❤️
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You’re welcome, Becky. Thank you for your most kind comment.
Elouise
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❤️
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Me again. You just provoked another post. http://wp.me/p6LpSr-53
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Uh-oh. I’d better go look!
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Second reply: That was a great read, John. I’m honored that my post provoked such beauty and wisdom.
Elouise
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