A Lament and a Confession
by Elouise

How loathe I’ve been
To squander this life
To cast to the wind
Or drop into the ground
What I cannot save
In decrepitude
I cling fearful
Lest I give myself away
For the pauper I am
Without You
I grieve years
Spent hoarding
What I cannot keep
Losing forever what
Will not come my way again.
~~~
God gave me life so I could give it away. When I hoard it, I lose it.
I grew up grasping at signs that I was a worthwhile human being. Not in God’s sight, but in the sight of others. I wanted stars on my forehead and my name on the honor roll.
Life was about performances that drew positive attention toward me. This reassured and soothed me, at least until the next test or assignment came due.
I’ve never felt comfortable reaching out to a wide circle of friends or strangers. Isn’t that part of being introverted? I was shy and bashful, that’s all. Polite, but not the initiator of conversations or unrequired smiles.
And so I hoarded shreds of praise and affirmation for myself. I didn’t often practice giving away praise, affirmation or even smiles to others.
Yet there’s nothing about being introverted that keeps me from giving away my life. Especially in small ways: Kindness. Short notes of encouragement. Smiles and hellos. Listening. Not as a duty, but as a way of passing on a bit of the life God and countless others have freely given me.
It sounds easy. Yet I’m reluctant to make the first move. I don’t want to stand out, ‘bother’ people, or take unnecessary risks with strangers. Better safe than sorry.
Then again, God reached out and made the first move toward me, a stranger. Without God’s kindness, including kindnesses passed on to me through friends and strangers, I would have nothing to give away.
I don’t squander money or spend it recklessly. Yet squandering is exactly what this calls for. Giving away with abandon some of what I’ve received. Investing it recklessly without promise of high returns.
After all, it never belonged to me in the first place.
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 6 March 2016
Photo with quote from quotesgram.com
Thank you Elouise for a beautiful morning read and a reminder of what is really important. Good morning my friend and sending love your way. I’ve missed you😊💜
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You’re, welcome, Kim. It’s just beyond wonderful to have your Good morning my friend–with love as well! 🙂 I’ve missed you, too. Hoping all went well with your move to the tropics!
Elouise
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Everything going grandly, having lots of fun, losing weight, walking and enjoying the sun…and still unpacking….will take a few more days but we need relaxation time too 🙂 glad to be back 🙂 missed you too my friend. ❤
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Yay! It sounds Good. Especially the relaxation time… 🙂
Elouise
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A smile is such a simple part of life to give away. When I receive a smile back, it makes my day.
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🙂 I’m so happy to make your day, April! Thanks for your comment. Getting a smile back is even more wonderful than giving it away!
Elouise
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😀
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You’re welcome! And just made my day….
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Your post was a beautiful reminder…
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
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Thank you for this, April. It’s all right there, isn’t it?
Elouise
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Your writing here gives me goosebumps all over, because you echo so exactly my dilemmas of shyness, and ‘not wanting to be a bother to anyone’, a reaction which proceeds on the false premises, that we are in the way, or somehow unlovely.
You are a true, beautiful friend and if you are with me, I am blessed. I bet if you said, “I am a beautiful friend and to know me is to be happy” a hundred times a day, the shyness would vanish, God knows, what we share increases….
Bless you! ((xx))
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Dear Fran,
I am so happy to have met you in this phase of your life and mine. I love the mantra you just gave me. 🙂 I’ve used mantras before, and this one really appeals to me. It’s remarkable how our inner lives mesh with those of others–when we’re prepared to let them show. Your book, Trapped, has been part of my blogging journey, believe it or not! Thanks so much. 🙂
Elouise
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Thank you, Elouise! ((xx))
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You’re welcome, Fran! 🙂
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Thank you for this.
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You’re welcome, Herminia. Thanks for reading/listening. 🙂
Elouise
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Any time.
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I too am an introvert. God made me that way. I envy those who always have a pleasantry to offer those in need. I have to work at it. But I accept what I am.
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Thanks for this comment, Waldo. Because I know you in person, I’ll say with no fear of being contradicted that your “outgoing” smiles are the best! I can even see one wanting to break out of your Young Waldo gravatar! And yes, acceptance is super important. 🙂
Elouise
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Have you seen the TED talk called Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection? I just watched it and then came to your wonderful reflection. They seem to go together and they are both a challenge for me. How often have I done what was really in my heart that required me to show up and be brave? Not often enough! Thanks for your words, Elouise
Blessings, Natalie
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You’re welcome, Natalie. The TED talk looks great. I love the title, and will give it a look-see! Thanks for showing up with your challenging question and comment about doing “what was really in my heart…!” It’s often easier and less complicated to just stay home, keep silent, maintain a low profile or be ‘nice.’ Anything but present and brave–even though no one else thinks what we’re doing or saying takes ‘that much’ courage! 🙂
Elouise
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Thank you for your thoughtful words.
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You’re welcome, Clay. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Elouise
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