Running a Marathon Backwards
by Elouise
Dear Friends,
The last three weeks went by in a blinding flash. Seemingly at warp speed, beginning with the moment I knew I was going to land smack on the pavement.
Yet it feels like ages ago. Almost, but not quite, an agony of slow motion. Hitting the pavement with my chin; the ambulance ride; emergency room; D’s face when he arrived at the ER and saw me; and everything since then.
I had oral surgery on May 2 to reposition my fractured jaw and wire my jaws shut. The operation itself flew by in a heartbeat, thanks to being shot up with a cocktail of who knows what. I was in the hospital overnight, presumably so I could rest, and then demonstrate my ability to pass the 3-fold test for discharge.
Never mind what the 3 items were; it took me until late in the afternoon to finally pass all 3 tests. And never mind that my room was across from the nurse’s equipment room, hall lights beaming through the door into my face all night; nurses coming and going from the equipment room; more nurses coming and going to check on me and on my roommate—or give me another shot of something or take my blood pressure and temperature.
I felt caught in a bad movie, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t eat anything except vegetable broth. By the time I passed the 3-fold test, it was late in the afternoon and I’d been without food for nearly 3 days. Definitely going backwards. Getting Lucy Pacemaker in early April was a picnic in the park compared with this.
The two weeks since then have been up and down, back and forth, agony followed by brief periods of relief, a total mishmash of reality from which I can scarcely discern the slightest pattern. If I’m running a marathon, I have only vague clues about how I’ll get from here to there.
Yesterday the oral surgeon clipped the rubber bands attached to the shiny hardware still firmly in place around my jaws. Liberated? Sort of. I can talk! But not very well yet. I have profound respect for young people and adults who wear braces. The wires will be on for another month, and I’m still on soft foods—minus the agony of using a straw.
Things for which I’m grateful:
- An outstanding team of medical personnel at one of the teaching hospitals in Philadelphia.
- Family, friends and neighbors who still lighten the load and encourage me.
- Total permission to do nothing but eat, sleep, make more Vitamix glop, keep my mouth clean, and check out of everything else.
- D’s readiness to do whatever it takes to help me. I never guessed he was such a good nurse!
- Emails, cards, notes, comments left here on the blog, and praying friends. Little messages from heaven.
- Music, music and more music; soothing and relaxing.
- Emily Dickinson’s enigmatic poems, and George MacDonald’s heartfelt sonnets.
- My hardworking gut, which has finally decided to come along with me. It got lost for a while when the food dried up.
Speaking of which, it’s time for more Vitamix Wonder Food! Oh—I forgot to tell you I’ve lost my sense of smell and taste. Hopefully it will return. In the meantime, whatever goes into the Vitamix tastes heavenly, especially when I’m hungry—which is most of the time!
Elouise ♥
©Elouise Renich Fraser, 14 May 2016
Photo found at julipuli.com
Much love to you. Xxx
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Thank you, Raphaela! 🙂
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Welcome back Elouise,
I’ve missed you so and was hoping that everything was going good for you…Hi to Lucy too….hope you heal well and things get back to normal for you soon.
Peace and love,
Kim
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Thank you, dear Kim, for this welcome back! 🙂 (Lucy is smiling, too!) The sun is shining today, and the birds are singing their little hearts out. A wonderful sign after two weeks of almost nonstop clouds and rain.
Elouise
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We’ve been dry here but this week chance of rain and thunderstorms every day….the plants in the yard could use it….high eighties all week too, been getting a lot of things done and a new floor getting put in tomorrow. Busy days indeed but good and getting a tan slowly and hitting the beach at least once a week. I’m glad you’re back, have missed you too💜
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Oh, Kim! Your new life and surroundings seem to suit you well–despite the busyness and humid heat. Which is why God made beaches! 🙂
Elouise
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And swimmy pools…..I may just go in today…after a happy nap that is….😊☀️🌴🐳🐬
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Oh my. Now I’m rethinking Florida! 🙂 Swimming pools and happy naps…..
Elouise
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Hello Eloise,
So good to have an update! Miss your insightful posts!
You sound like you are in good hands in spite of difficult circumstances.
Praying for your speedy recovery!
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Hi, April. It feels so good (on my side) to have an update posted. 🙂 Thanks for your prayers and encouragement!
Elouise
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Dearest elouise, I have been away on sabbatical and only now learning about all that you have been through. I have tears in my eyes and a deep sense of respect for the woman you continue to be while you walk this messy journey of life. I hold you in my most intimate prayers- the ones where I ask God to show up a bit more obviously in the lives of people I love and are hurting. May the marathon come to some kind of end, soon, with restored speech and smell and taste and a heart filled with wonder and gratitude for beating still…
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Dear Francesca, It’s so good to hear from you! Thank you for your prayers, your tears, and your encouragement. Life is indeed messy. I hope your sabbatical was over-the-top wonderful.
Elouise
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Oh, Eloise, just caught up with everything that happened. SO SORRY! Oh, girl – well, aside from the pain and frustration, apparently our Lord is insisting you rest!
Thank heaven for Emily and George Mac. Have you tried Robert Frost yet? He’s most wonderful, and one of my favorites.
Well, now I have new ways to pray for you – a speedy recovery x2! There must be a book in this somewhere. 😉
Love, Susan
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Susan, Thanks so much for your wonderful note! I don’t know about a book. I was thinking a few days ago about a consulting service for people with wired jaws! 🙂 I love Robert Frost’s poetry, but haven’t read nearly as much of him as I have of Emily and GMacD. Thanks for the suggestion! Yep. Time to rest. Bigtime. Thanks for praying and sending encouragement. Most appreciated!
Elouise
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Elouise, continued prayers for you and D. through this time. I find the assurances in scripture that God is with us to be of great comfort, from Ps. 23 to todays lectionary gospel passage. I continue to marvel at your finding those to be grateful for in the midst of such an ordeal, you continue to be a inspiration and blessing! Peace and healing! David
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Thank you, David! Psalm 23 has scrolled through my heart and mind more times than I can count in the last month. Very calming and reassuring. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement for both of us.
Elouise
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Marilyn and I just returned from a cruise and I’m catching up with email. Reading with a wince at your fall/recovery. I add my prayers for full healing and gratitude that you are surrounded with good care and compassionate friends. I hope that you will be able to eat some corn on the cob by July!
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Hi, Jeff. Great to hear from you. As for corn on the cob? Whew! That would be a stretch goal for sure! Do you think I have a big enough mouth for it? 🙂 Seriously, many thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Just back from a cruise? Sounds heavenly. Greetings to Marilyn.
Elouise
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I have thought of you often, Elouise. I would like to have my jaw wired shut to keep me from stuffing all the fattening foods in my mouth. Well, not really. It sounds like you have had a very agonizing experience and I can’t imagine what it must feel like. Wishes sent to you for a speedy recovery!
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Thank you April! I assure you that having wired jaws will result in loss of weight–whether you like it or not! But the cost? Whew. Not sure it would be worth it. One other advantage, though–during the two weeks they were totally wired shut (couldn’t open my jaws), there wasn’t any possibility of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time! 🙂
Elouise
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hahaha! I’ll bet you could find new ways to speak with your eyes. 😀
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Bigtime! 🙂
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