Prayer
by Elouise
Dear Friends,
This week was a roller coaster. Highs and lows one after the other. Still, I wrote in my journal and will post some pieces later. The picture is messy. Not because it’s ugly, but because it isn’t logical or sensible.
In the midst of the ups and downs I’ve followed George MacDonald’s sonnets for May. Some keep drawing me back for another read. Not because they’re profound, but because they’re simple and speak to my heart and situation right now.
Here’s one I’ve read over and over the last few days. It comforts me during this extended, unexpected Sabbath rest.
May 26
My prayers, my God, flow from what I am not;
I think thy answers make me what I am.
Like weary waves thought follows upon thought.
But the still depth beneath is all thine own,
And there thou mov’st in paths to us unknown.
Out of strange strife thy peace is strangely wrought;
If the lion in us pray—thou answerest the lamb.George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul
Augsburg Fortress Press 1994
I identify with every line, every word, every nuance. Especially the contrast between what I am not and what I am. Not because of myself, but because of the way God answers me. Not in kind, but in ways only a little lost lamb understands.
- I roar with indignation; God whispers with comfort.
- I get my back up; God rubs it gently.
- I complain about the puny food that’s set before me; God smiles and pours a glass of wine.
- I rage; God sings a lullaby.
- I blame God; God holds me closer.
Stubbornly (!), God keeps responding to the little lost lamb. Taming my anger, showing me who I am in God’s eyes. Reassuring me, like waves that keep washing up on the shore, that God is found in the depths of the ocean. Not in the wearying repetition of my human effort to make a mark on life.
Elouise ♥
© Elouise Renich Fraser, 28 May 2016
Image found at cityviewchurch.com.au
Hello my friend and Lucy too, can’t forget Lucy…..hope things are healing up for you and that you’re managing through with a little help from the big guy. Sending peace, love and healing to you my dear, when will your jaw be back to good again?
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Thank you, Kim. I’m hoping to be functional by late June. The wires come off in two weeks. Then my bite needs a bit of work so my jaws come together enough to chew the wonderful food I’m already dreaming about eating! 🙂 Lucy is so faithful–definitely helping my heart get through this rough patch.
Elouise
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That is awesome news my friend. At least you don’t lose the summer not being able to eat the good things you enjoy. And with Lucy hanging around and being such a help, you are gonna be a busy lady….busy enjoying life and being you. Woo hoo. Good morning and have a great weekend too😊💜
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(((♥)))
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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Hi Eloise, you said what is going on inside of me so well. Thank you for writing. I appreciate your baring your soul for all to see. You are a blessing to many, I’m sure.
Love,
Your cousin, Janie
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Oh, Janie, I’m so sorry you’re in this place, too. But I have to be honest–knowing others are there and functioning is a great encouragement. I know I’m not the only one, yet somehow writing about it connects me with others like you who get it. Even though “it” isn’t much fun at all.
Love and hugs,
Elouise
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Reblogged this on Telling the Truth and commented:
I’m sending this out with a prayer that someone out there might be encouraged by it. I wrote it last year, just 5 weeks after I fell and broke my jaw. Today I’ve been a bit down about all the catastrophic events we’re experiencing. Things that ‘shouldn’t have happened.’ Yet they did. George MacDonald helped me then and is helping me this evening. Your friend, Elouise
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